Hi. I’m Harrison.

I’m a total dork. I hope you are too.

I wrote a dystopian horror novel people seem to like. I've edited a bunch people also seem to like. Sometimes I write screenplays and songs.

I can tell you everything you’d ever want to know about Bigfoot, and many, many things you don’t. Ask me about dermal ridges. I dare you.

I can be a wee bit obsessive about music. A great album is my equivalent of a religious experience. I have an unhealthy addiction to used CDs. I probably have a song in my head. You can see me tapping it out on my legs. If I like you I may tap it out on yours.

I am all about Spider-Man. I may loan you a comic.

I live life on the edge of the speed limit.

I have a very strange sense of humor. Sometimes I try to get an animated sitcom out of it. (Lenin & McCarthy!)

I once nearly got into a car accident because I was distracted by a sign that used the wrong "there."

I’ll drop everything and come running if you need me, but I won’t change who I am.

For someone this consistently odd, I am an unusually together person. I know exactly what I want out of life and I'm very secure about who I am.

So that’s me. Now tell me about you.

Right now, promoting my book. I haven't had to sell myself this much since, well, writing this profile.

Otherwise, editing other books, writing screenplays, and working on whatever else I feel like working on. Lately I've been working on a musical. It's about zombies.

Ask me about it. You know you want to.

writing self summaries that totally negate the need for these additional questions.

Vestigial tail.

Or: I'm just a tiny bit off in a way that's difficult to define. I'm a split second removed from the rest of humanity.

Books: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and other Douglas Adams novels, novels by Salman Rushdie and Kurt Vonnegut, magical realism in general, and Spider-Man comics.

I just bought two new books I'm very excited about: the sixth Hitchhiker's Guide book (the one not by Adams) and Richard Matheson's The Incredible Shrinking Man, which also includes a couple classic stories like "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet." I am conflicted about the former. Far less so about the latter.

Update: I read that sixth book. And I was right to be conflicted.

Movies: Spider-Man 2, The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, The Incredibles, The Shawshank Redemption, dramedies of various sorts (Little Miss Sunshine). I am also a bad movie connoisseur. If you know what Zardoz is and have experienced its horrors, write me.

Shows: I will forever be a devotee of Lost. I love The Walking Dead. I have gotten deeply into Doctor Who. Most of the rest, I'm kind of ignoring right now.

Music: Billy Joel! Also, Neil Finn, Crowded House, Elton John, Phil Collins, Genesis, Mike and the Mechanics, Justin Currie, Don Henley, the Eagles, Michael Penn, Sting, Julian Lennon, Toto, Emitt Rhodes, etc.

Food: Whatever doesn't kill me.

A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y.

stories. Strategies. People and logic and why the two never seem to mix.

Why is mayonnaise the only food that needs to define itself as "real," and ketchup the only food that needs to define itself as "fancy"?

traveling the country in my roving mystery van, putting right what's gone wrong, and also wrong what's gone right.

I'm secretly a panda.

And I flinch every time a mine goes off in Minesweeper.

. . . you think weirdness is not just a characteristic, but a requirement.

. . . you love writing things, creating things, and imagining things.

. . . you feel about music the way some people feel about religion.

. . . you think laser tag and dinner is a swell idea.

. . . you don't object to use of the word "swell."

. . . you know what a cryptid is.

. . . you waltz in quarter-time.

. . . you're a nice, interesting, possibly dorky person who can bring out the goofy dork in me.

Also, I will happily play Words With Friends with anyone who thinks they can beat me.