I am an eclectic individual of many interests, and enjoy spontaneity and endless philosophizing and speculation.
My interests vary a lot, but a few of them are permaculture, homesteading, ecology, natural sciences, cooking, architectural engineering (a hopefully future career, combined with ecology and permaculture principles), massage therapy, sensual massage, healthy living, *lots* of music of many sorts, dancing, canoeing, hiking, ..
Becoming one with a forest, smelling the loam beneath me, hearing the rustles and calls of life around me, feeling the breeze and the sunlight, watching shifting dapples of vibrant peridot leaves pattern against the vivid blue sky.. wandering down to the garden and tending it with dedicated awareness and affection, returning to our cabin with handfuls of fresh greens and all sorts of tasty things to prepare for supper.. feeling a deep sense of happiness and contentment as I see my loved ones sharing in the dance of thai massage on the living room floor.. exchanging frequent and affectionate loving cuddles and kisses.. supporting each other as we each individually and collectively find our own ways through our issues; sharing our joys and stability..
I am compassionate, gentle and positive. I tend to approach life with enthusiasm and joy. Compersion comes easily.
I can be relaxed and peaceful, but also I also feel deep intensity and passion in life.
I am not age-ist; physical age is not a search criteria for me (above adulthood).
I am pansexual; gender is not a search criteria for me.
The shape of your body, the color of your skin, and your heritage and culture are all aspects of what makes you beautiful and uniquely yourself.
Who you are, and the philosophies we share, are important to me. Those are my search criteria.
I have recently rediscovered this poem, and posted about it in my journal here (7/4/10). The Invitation It encapsulates many of the perspectives that I seek in others, and that I try to be true to in my own reality.
I am only interested in whole-person or subject-subject relating (vrs object-object or subject-object), whether sex is shared or not.
Communication is very important to me in a relationship. I am able to define my boundaries, and I genuinely believe that it is possible to work through issues.
Family and home come first for me, so I am willing to relocate. I can find happiness in almost all things and places. I do however find it very important to live in an environment that does not have a lot of pollution, so there might be some specific factors to relocating or sharing a home.
I actively work on my issues, whatever they may be, and have a strong drive toward personal improvement. I look for this approach to life in others. This is one of my primary criteria in judging any serious level of compatibility.
I use the term "getting fit" to describe myself, and I genuinely mean that. I put a lot of energy into becoming healthier, and have accomplished some pretty impressive things. However, I currently am not as healthy as I want to be - hence "getting fit".
I have recently lost 95 lbs, and even better, I feel a whole lot healthier and more energetic. I'm pretty proud of what I have accomplished despite the deceptive and hostile environment that exists in many cultures concerning weight gain (diet is a 4 letter word, and being overweight is not a social statement or a declaration of personal value). I look forward to healing myself the rest of the way, and am really enjoying how I look and feel at each point as my body changes. Of course I'm only interested in interacting with people who are supportive, or at least not detrimental to my efforts. However, I cannot share a relationship with someone who does not have good healthstyle habits. I just can't go back there.
To have an idea of my fitness level, I tend to work 12 hour days at a very physically demanding high energy job. (I do not use any stimulants.) I can briskly walk 5 miles without being winded (as long as I have good air quality), continue with the day's activities, and only have normal muscle tiredness afterward.
I would love to find someone who will explore the wilderness with me. There is so much beauty in this world. I long to live in it. My biggest dream as a child was to go out into nature and live as a part of that world.
I know I'm not even close to where I could consider myself athletic, but I have experienced being in that kind of physical condition. Returning to where my body can once again easily meet the expectations that I have for it is my goal. The world is too incredible to stay inside and not enjoy it.
One of the things that I look for (when I check someone out for relationship possibilities) are those who also value health and actively practice a healthy lifestyle. I have found that there is simply too much conflict within a household if people have drastically different health styles. This is not a personal judgment, just a practical issue. I know how hard the challenges are for people who face health issues. Note that someone who is addicted to sugar, caffeine, or processed food is not healthy in my opinion; nor is someone who simply swaps out supplements and herbs for mainstream drugs while continuing the same destructive lifestyle habits. This is definitely not a fat/skinny issue. Many skinny people are very unhealthy, and some overweight people currently practice great healthstyle habits and are much healthier than people who don't. The circles under your eyes tell me a lot more than your body mass ratio. I know I'm really emphasizing this point, but people frequently reply to my bio who do not match in this way, so I want to be very clear on it.
Numbers are not important to me, although I acknowledge the limits of time and emotional energy. I can deeply bond with more than one person, either in the same space in time, or over the span of my life. I am reluctant to use the word polyamory, because although this is what polyamory means to me, it means very different things to other people.
I am polyamorous because I am into lifetime monogamy. If that seems a contradiction, consider this.. In the course of our entire life together it is very likely that someone I love will fall in love with someone else. I want someone I love to be healthy and happy, and loving someone that is wonderful and good for them will bring that into their life.
So.. what about our love? Do we just break up? I don't believe that is the right thing to do. I cannot just swap someone out and someone else in because the one I love loves another (or for any other reason), nor do I want to. I'm not into serial monogamy, so thus I am into polyamory - *my* definition of polyamory. I have noticed that many definitions of polyamory are more like serial monogamy; either they swap people out or they draw lines in the sand that beg to be crossed some day.
11/1/09 I've moved the following from the beginning of this section to the bottom of this section to de-emphasize it a bit. It is still true, but you know what they say of time. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
8/03/09 For the past few months I've been finding my way through the final break up of a very deep relationship with someone that I met via pmm almost 7 years ago. I'm questioning a lot of things in life right now, and trying to learn what I can from the experience, painful as it is.
8/28/09 I am beginning to feel that the light at the end of the tunnel is indeed not an oncoming train, and am feeling a bit more lighthearted at times. I can fall hard, but I tend to bounce back pretty well. This will still be a long process for me though.
If you think we are a very good match for a relationship (not just by your criteria, but by mine too) *and* you wish to be there for me while I work through this, feel free to contact me.
Right now I am a good match for someone who tends to connect on a very deep level. Someone who enjoys thinking and discussing philosophy, even of sometimes uncomfortable subjects like societal conditioning. Someone who is comfortable with emotional intensity (at times), and isn't only interested in the fluffier aspects of relating. Someone who is compassionate, and also respects someone else's process (and is perhaps experienced enough to be happy that the other person will own it). Someone who understands that it is possible to have more than one deep bond at the same time, even if one is fading into the past and the other is just being formed. In other words, someone that I would be a good match with anyway. ;>
I am peaceful, intense, and compassionate