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60 Benicia, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 48-58
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 7:19pm
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
5' 8" (1.73m)
Body Type
Post grad
Has kid(s)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I love books and the outdoors about equally. In the past, this could have led to problems, such as walking off a cliff with book in hand. I guess ebooks are no great advance so far as this problem goes, but nowadays I mostly listen to audiobooks, which means the two tastes aren't incompatible. However, there's the issue of mountain lions sneaking up from behind ... and, more importantly, from time to time I'd like to walk with someone rather than with a book.

I'm looking for a relationship with someone who shares my love of the outdoors, of ideas, and of beauty in all its forms. I include good TV among the last two on that list: I'm not snobbish about where great things can be found.

And, along with those serious things, I'm a fan of pure silliness. Tina Fey is one of my heroes. So is Charlie Chaplin. And John Cleese.

Speaking of Tina, or at least of Liz Lemon, I wouldn't at all object if you have a dash or two of geeky/nerdiness in your soul. Rather the opposite. Because I am a serious introvert.

Repeat: Serious introvert.

I am not shy (well, sometimes) nor withdrawn, nor socially awkward (except when tired), nor lacking in self-esteem. I'm highly verbal, I connect deeply, I have sensitive emotional antennae, I listen, I pay very close attention and I really hear and get people. I like to connect deeply. But so much of the time I need to be alone. I'm wired like the guy in Jonathan Rausch's famous essay. If this doesn't make sense to you, I'm not right the right person for you to meet. But if you like reflecting on interesting ideas, appreciating beauty and story, connecting deeply when together while preserving a whole lot of space apart, then maybe I'm a good human for you to get to know!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I recently moved to Benicia from San Francisco, because I am SO not a city person. And I moved to San Francisco after some time away in Colorado for reasons that made sense at the time. Northern California is definitely my home, just not Any Big City Like That.

Possibly dealbreaker spoiler alert ahead (given that this is Northern California) Though I live really rather healthily, I'm not into health living as a way of life. Also, I eat meat. And though I have considerable spiritual history I don't meditate nor am I on any kind of spiritual path: I'd rather become more fully human than reach for pure spirit. (But a lot of spirituality got integrated into my personality back when I was really serious about Such Things.)

I used to write books and short stories, but now for creative expression I take landscape photos; a few of them are among my profile photos.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Losing things. I can lose something in the blink of an eye, in a hop, skip and jump, in a snap of the fingers, in a locked room.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My smile. My curly hair. My fantastic sense of fashion. (Criminally dishonest about that last part.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Currently reading Camille Paglia's Break Blow Burn, and a biography of Theodore Roosevelt. Last year, the Goldfinch broke my heart and spoke to my soul, though for reasons that may be rather particular to me since it's not really the world's greatest book. Lifetime favorites: Angle of Repose, The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet, Instance of the Fingerpost, the whole Patrick O'brian series (imagining myself as Stephen Maturin, playing cello lashed to a chair, whipping off legs in a Latin jiffy, spying on Napoleon's men, and generally collecting beetles all over the globe). I also love the occasional non-fiction history written in the grand style, and all kinds of guilty-pleasure detective stories. I read a lot but I'm not a highbrow.

TV: All time favorites include The Wire, 30Rock, Buffy, Firefly, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Borgen, Six Feet Under, Master of None. Currently I'm looking for something to measure up. Suggestions?

Movies: Lifetime favorites: "Blue" of the Three Colors trilogy, Memento, Across the Universe, anything by Jim Jarmusch.

Foods: anything spicy

Music: OK, hate to admit it, but I go to Grateful Dead cover concerts. It's a nostalgia thing.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Friendship and solitude.

Hiking, with its entire physicality in the physical world

Intelligence, in its many forms.

Emotional honesty, being real and genuine in poignant moments and over long, gentle stretches of time.

Humor. Life is too serious to take too seriously.

Touch: the whole range, from hand holding hand to the lovely, meaning-making entire body contact of skin against skin.

I miss gardening. I've always had a garden, and now I don't. I'll weed on a first date!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Whatever I'm reading at the moment!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Doing something alone. It's been a long week, and I need the space.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Without getting specific, I live pretty healthily but I have a decadent side too.

I probably shouldn't write this next thing, but oh well: I have pretty high emotional intelligence for a man, and my dream woman is at least as emotionally intelligent as I am.

Other private confessions can be found in the comments section of various questions.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If being introverted makes sense to you. If you are a bit of a misfit, eccentric, individualized, smart and lovably odd. If you can imagine a relationship in which after having a wonderful time together one of us says to the other, "Now go away please. I'm sick of being around you for now, and need to be get back to my full life of being alone." To which the other replies, "Yeah, I'm sick of being around you too; at the moment I can't even imagine ever wanting to see you, or any other human being, ever again in my life." This interchange is followed by a loving kiss.

And you don't have cat. I'm much too allergic too cats to go out with someone who has one!