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58 M San Francisco, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:57am
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Graduated from med school
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Has kids
Likes dogs

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I love books and the outdoors about equally. In the past, this could have led to problems, such as walking off a cliff with book in hand. I guess ebooks are no great advance so far as this problem goes, but nowadays I mostly listen to audiobooks, which means the two tastes aren't incompatible. However, there's the issue of mountain lions sneaking up from behind, and, I would often prefer to walk with someone I love to be with rather than with a book (and not just because of the mountain lions :-)

Though I am willing to camp, I would most often prefer a luxurious bed and breakfast. And the hikes don't have to be difficult! I'm not a mountain man: I just need to get out in nature to find myself, to restore my equilibrium, to heal my spirit.

I'm looking for a relationship with someone who shares my love of beauty, of nature and of ideas. And of really good TV: I'm not snobbish about where great things can be found. And I'm a fan of pure silliness too: Tina Fey is one of my heroes. So is John Cleese.

Speaking of Tina, I wouldn't at all object if you have a dash or two of brilliant insanity in your soul. It's nutritious.

I like paradox. I don't believe very many things fall into clear patterns of true and false, good and bad, right and wrong. Well, there are exceptions: I couldn't date a Republican.

I am a certified and credentialed good storyteller, but I've also always been told that I listen deeply and carefully, and that I really tune in. In addition, I once performed acupressure massage, and I haven't forgotten how.

I'm a physician by trade, but I in no way identify as a doctor. It's just what I do. I have always had other things that were more central. In chronological order, my kids (I was a single parent for some time), writing (I used to write both fiction and non-fiction) and now nature photography. (I've included a few shots among my profile photos. They're cropped a little weirdly because really you're only supposed to put people photos there.)

And I am seriously into finding a real relationship, one that works, one that lasts. I don't want to rush into anything physical, not because I don't value that aspect of relationship (I do!) but because moving too quickly on that one level blocks other levels.

Did I write the words "serious" and "real" up there? Let me balance that word with another: Silliness. I do have a silly side. Yes, yes, I do!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I recently moved back here from Colorado, after decades away. One could fit the entire population of Colorado into the Bay Area ... I'm trying to get used to so many people! But it feels like home.

More information: Though I live really rather healthily, I'm not into health living as a way of life. Also, I eat meat. And though I have considerable spiritual history I don't meditate nor am I on a formal spiritual path: I'd rather become more fully human than reach for pure spirit.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Losing things. I can lose something in the blink of an eye, in a hop, skip and jump, in a snap of the fingers, in a locked room.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My smile. My curly hair. My fantastic sense of fashion. (Totally dishonest about that last part.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I just read The Goldfinch. It broke my heart and spoke to my soul. Other favorites: Angle of Repose, The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet, Instance of the Fingerpost, Patrick O'brian (imagining myself as Stephen Maturin, playing cello lashed to a chair, whipping off legs in a Latin jiffy, spying on Napoleon's men, and generally collecting beetles alll over the globe). I also love the occasional non-fiction history written in the grand style, and all kinds of guilty-pleasure detective stories. Lately, I've discovered Joan Didion.

TV: The Wire, 30Rock, Buffy, Mad Men, and yes, sigh, alas, it's true, Breaking Bad.

Movies: "Blue" of the Three Colors trilogy, Memento, Across the Universe, anything by Jim Jarmusch. Just saw and loved Inside Llewyn Davis

Foods: anything very, very spicy

Music: I recently saw Maya Breiser in downtown SF and loved it. Also, the Arietta piano sonata, Leonard Cohen, Grateful Dead. I have two tickets to a YES concert in San Jose. I've heard that contrary to all expectations they are really good. Interested?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Friendship and solitude.

Hiking, with its entire physicality in the physical world

Intelligence, in its many forms.

Emotional honesty, being real and genuine in poignant moments and over long, gentle stretches of time.

Humor. Life is too serious to take too seriously.

Touch: the whole range, from hand holding hand to the lovely, meaning-making entire body contact of skin against skin.

I miss gardening. I've always had a garden, and now I don't. I'll weed on a first date!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
At this point in my life, I don't really want to spend too much time thinking. Been there, done that. I want to spend as much as possible of this last third of my life living in the world rather than inside my head.

Of course, I still do think a lot, but I play against the tendency.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Doing something alone, or with someone I love.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Without getting specific, I live pretty healthily but I have a decadent side too.

I probably shouldn't write this next thing, but oh well: I have pretty high emotional intelligence for a man, and my dream woman is at least as emotionally intelligent as I am.

Other private confessions can be found in the comments section of various questions.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 48–58
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
My profile touches you.

You are something of an introvert yourself, or an HSP (extra points if you know what that is!) Don't misunderstand: I am not shy or withdrawn; I'm highly verbal; I connect deeply; I have sensitive emotional antennae; I listen; I pay very close attention; I really hear and get people. It just that I am wired somewhat like the guy in Jonathan Rausch's famous essay: My match probably has to be somewhere near enough along the spectrum for a relationship to actually work out.

And, this is mandatory: You can't live with a a cat: I'm much too allergic!