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42 Los Gatos, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 25-50
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Nov 24
Seeing Someone
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Other and laughing about it
Working on Space camp
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats
English (Fluently), English (Somewhat), English (Somewhat), English, Other (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My profile is just here as a teaching tool for the Reddit /r/OkCupid subreddit and so I can give profile critiques and feedback to those that are having difficulties with online dating. I've happily got a great girlfriend... Turns out this interwebs dating stuff works if you put some effort into it.

So if I browsed you, and you're wondering why... It's probably because someone linked your profile in IRC and said, "How about this one, Mike? Does he/she look the crazypills?"

If you find you are failing miserably at the internet dating and want to know why, log into Reddit and find the /r/OkCupid subreddit so you can get some helpful constructive feedback on your own profile.

But esp. send a message to /u/broligarchy and tell her what a babe she is.

### Preface ###

Having had a few dates off of OkCrazy now, and based on the feedback I have received from women after picking their brains on their overall OkC user experience I won't be sending out introductory messages/IM's any longer. This is not meant to sound cynical, it's just far less stress.

Women on OkC are drinking from the digital firehose apparently and suffer an onslaught of IM's and over-capacity inboxes.

So any cleverly handcrafted introduction I send out is likely to get lost in a sea of, "OMG GURL U SO FINE I GOT 2 HIT DAT!!", or all the rocket surgeons who send out, "Sup? Holla!", and the creative masterminds that like to fire off copy/paste messages to every single woman on OkC within a 300 mile radius like a Xerox machine gone haywire.

If you find me interesting, and you see I've browsed your profile, please feel free to break the, "Guys should always make first contact." stereotype and drop me a message. I'll always take the time to respond in an articulate and amusing fashion.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled internet dating jackassery...

### ### ###

Trophy winning unstoppable asphalt juggernaut by day... Hard hitting stripe-wearing rulebook-throwing roller-skating-ref who blows whistles at women by night.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
To pay the bills I own a Virtual Reality tech startup here in the Bay Area. If I went into detail about what I do with computers and hardware for a living your eyes would glaze over... I love it, find it interesting and rewarding, but honestly not everybody is as excited about it as I tend to be. But it is nice to finally be at a point where I can take something I've been doing as a hobby for the last 20 years and turn it into a legitimate business venture.

When I'm not banging on a keyboard I'm usually wearing stripes and blowing a whistle while chasing after 10 women on skates who are constantly beating the crap out of each other. Here's a video of what a typical derby bout looks like.

Not working or reffing? I'm hurling myself around a race track at lurid triple-digit speeds in the cockpit of a Formula 1 Sidecar in front of huge crowds hoping to win a 10 dollar plastic trophy and maybe some fame or glory. The type of road racing I do is very obscure here in the US, huge all over Europe/UK. It's the fixie-pedaling PBR-swilling hipster of modern motorsport.
Here's a video. If you think it looks like fun, you should -really- send me a message

The racing career has its perks. I was on Spike TV teaching Jesse James how to drive F1 Superside, and not many people can say they were a featured expert on an episode of Mythbusters ripping down the Alameda runway at 180 miles per hour. No, seriously... I was on Mythbusters, here's the video.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people laugh.

Yeah, people tend to put that in their profile a lot. But no... Seriously. I'll floor you. I'll twist your universe inside out. I'll redefine your perception of dark and bent humor. Usually being within auditory range around me is akin to being hit in the face with a cricket bat at random intervals.

I grew up in a family that required thinking on your feet, the inability to never let slip with a straight line, and a lightning rapier wit forged like white-hot Damascus steel by years of parental and sibling sparring. I have a wide array of surgically sharp verbal razors at the ready in my quiver.

I'm not one of those people who's constantly 'on', but let a straight line slip around me and usually I can't help myself. I like to smile and laugh.

I'm mechanically adept. Nothing in my home is broken or ever in any state of disrepair. I perform all the service on my vehicles because I enjoy doing so. Check your oil for you? I'll rebuild your transmission in a weekend.

And I love designing and fabricating things. Give me a grinder, a welder, chop saw, and materials, tell me what you want and what you would like it to do... A few hours later you will have form functional art for your home.

Speaking and writing... Women as a rule have always been pleasantly surprised upon experiencing the overall length and breadth of my diction.

I can dance... It's weird, but I can dance well, I don't know where I get that gene. For some reason I have a DNA encoded sense of rhythm.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My smile, and then usually my eyes. Either that or it's my unique fashion sense. I do own a nice Versace suit... but, it's also constructed from a shiny blue camouflage material. And looks like something only a 70's era pimp or a blind man would wear with pride. I think it is aweseomesauce.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Pratchett, Niven, and many others in the genre. Movies I tend to fall on the side of bad SciFi or good Horror. I actually don't get out to clubs, concerts, or shows that much. I do love things like the Tech Museum, the Steinheart, Exploratorium, the Body Worlds exhibits when they come around. Music, well... I'm all over the board there. I was an old school rivethead for a number of years, so I can have some obscure tastes. But I do tend to listen to a little bit of anything and everything these days. I can go from Jimmy Luxury to Icon of Coil to Too Short without so much as a facial tic.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
~ Books, I love books, I have quite the collection. I am a word sponge.
~ Motorcycles and roadracing, I love mastering speed. It's in my soul.
~ My skates. No matter how bad the day, a couple hours on my quads and all is right in the world.
~ Quiet time. At least once a day, some nice peace and quiet to myself to de-stress. A nice bed with some big soft comforters helps.
~ My job. It pays the bills, and covers the costs of my hobbies.
~ An eclectic collection of music to suit all moods.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Lunch, and generally when I'm not thinking about lunch I can't seem to get the "I dream of Jeanie" soundtrack out of endless-loop on the tape-deck in my head.

How profanity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers...

How nearly every woman on here lists that she is looking for a man who is outdoorsy, adventurous, and can make her laugh.
Extrapolating that logic the dream date for a majority of the women on this system is a Rodeo Clown...

Why people put a statement like, "I like to live, laugh, and love." in their profiles? As if someone is going to read that and think, "Nah, all that shit sucks."
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Friday 4/19/13 ~
So I met a woman for a drink... off this interwebs dating thing. And she's telling me this story about how she got dumped on her birthday. She says, "I know, this is the most depressing story in the world.". And before I could shut my mouth I deadpanned, "Well... some Jews might disagree."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't have any pants on, and the AC in this internet cafe is cranked up way too high.

I like to replace all the lightbulbs in my bathroom with red ones, throw the stopper in the bathtub, turn on the shower, and pretend I'm in a submarine that's been hit by a torpedo.

You'll find me 'out on the playa' when Hilton finishes building a 20 story five star on the dirt. I like my comped terrycloth robe, 60 inch plasma, eight pillows, hot shower, Jacuzzi tub, air conditioning, and room service. I'll watch the man burn from the balcony of the presidential suite 200 feet above the unwashed masses, thanks.

The user experience here is about as clinical and detached as when I'm shopping online for tools. "Gee, she's nice, comes in SAE, free overnight shipping, but I wonder if I can get her with a rubberized grip."

This paragraph used to say... "I've got some extra weight on me right now, and I am working hard to fix that. (snip) If a little extra weight on me right at this moment is an issue for you, look somewhere else." (to paraphrase) But after lots of hard work and determination I've actually got myself back in excellent physical condition with only a handful of pounds to go before I'm at my goal. It was quite an ordeal, but well worth it in the long run for my overall physical fitness and health.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You actually read the preface at the top of my profile, and your next thought was, "Hey, I better send this guy a message because he's sure as hell not going to send me one first."

You want to hear about the time I kicked my own ass putting on a tube sock.

Or the idea of a man that may suddenly just start into a disturbingly-accurate Buffalo-Bill-Silence-of-the-Lambs impersonation with no provocation or apparent set up at all while staring off blankly into space makes you giggle a little...

You've never quietly reflected on life while going really Really REALLY fast in a high performance vehicle on a race track.

I'm not cookie-cutter, your friends will notice that right off the bat. But they'll be jealous because I sure am a hell of a lot of fun.

Oh, and... Some of you women obviously do not have access to Google Maps. No I do not want to meet you for coffee if that requires one of us driving 130 miles one way. Hell, I wouldn't even drive that far for a date if your invitation came on gold leaf parchment and clearly stated "Coffee and great sex right on the barista counter." Please, google where Los Gatos, CA is before you send me an invitation for a date in North Fucking Boondocks, CA. My maximum dating range is ~ Oakland / San Francisco / Santa Cruz.

Please only message me if... you actually want to meet in the real world. Yes I know that's highly demanding and unrealistic of me to think that women on a dating website who send me messages might actually want to meet in the near future. It's ludicrous of course.