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30 M Fort Collins, CO

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:59am
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
A little extra
Mostly vegetarian
Atheism, and laughing about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly), French (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hey there potential internet-homey, my name is Billy, and this is where I'm gonna attempt to get across just how singularly awesome I am without simultaneously coming off as a perfidious dealer in snake-oil, nostrums and utopic buncombe. It's not that I can't slang that 'ish with the best of them, but it's against the grifter's code to cadge in on the efforts of a fellow rum cove, and the faith-healers and soothsayers 'round these parts are clearly running a splendidly intricate long-con. If you inquired around the community, I'm pretty sure that very few people would describe me as a knave, bounder, or cad. Certainly not the majority of those polled, probably.

I'm not the type of dude to be easily pigeonholed into someone's little box (mostly because I am large and relatively non-foldable). It's not really easy or simple to explain my life's philosophy, but I tried to find a few quick quotes to give you folks an idea of where I'm coming from:

"Take a moment from time to time to remember that you are alive. I know this sounds a trifle obvious, but it is amazing how little time we take to remark upon this singular and gratifying fact. By the most astounding stroke of luck an infinitesimal portion of all the matter in the universe came together to create you and for the tiniest moment in the great span of eternity you have the incomparable privilege to exist." - Bill Bryson

"The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it" - Terry Pratchett

“Fall in love with some activity, and do it! Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn't matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough. Work as hard and as much as you want to on the things you like to do the best. Don't think about what you want to be, but what you want to do. Keep up some kind of a minimum with other things so that society doesn't stop you from doing anything at all." - Richard P. Feynman

"To be nobody but
yourself in a world
which is doing its best day and night to make you like
everybody else means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight and never stop fighting." - E.E. Cummings
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Whenever I'm not dancing the Charleston and singing psalms unto Cthulhu, you might find me enjoying a plethora of engaging and thrilling activities, including (but not limited to): pitying fools, hollering Hootie-Hoo, entering the dangerzone, and waiting till I get my money right (at which point, I'm led to believe, haters will not be able to tell me anything at all). I'm also willing to consider engaging in almost any form of hijinks, shenanigans and/or tomfoolery, but never just for a lark. Looking for a Zuul to my Vinz Clortho, cause haven't we all been pining for the return of the destructor?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I've got a wicked good ability to memorize random trivia. The more useless the information, the more likely I am to remember it.

My dad was bartender for most of my life and my mom was a lawyer and a therapist, so I got the gift of gab to a pretty ridiculous degree. I can produce bullshit of the highest quality on demand.

As far as everything else in my life, I try to stick with the philosophy of the old English gentleman amateurs. "Do many things, and none of them well"

Being Broke
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably my voice, it's quite loud even when I'm trying not to be.

Also, I'm a newly minted member of the four-eyes club. At least until I lose or break this first pair of glasses (given my track record this will probably occur in decidedly short order). Update: lost two pairs, these things are hard to keep track of. I need some of those chains that you see classy librarian ladies rocking, where do you acquire them?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have always loved music, and the love only gets stronger as I grow as both a musician and a listener. I hesitate to say this, because it's basically a cliche at this point, but I like all forms music, as long as they are done with passion. I'm kind of like one of those dickish hipsters that's always talking about music you've never heard of, but I'm not an asshole about it (plus, I would actually like my favorite bands to be MORE popular :)

Some of my favorite authors are (in no particular order): Terry Pratchett ; Bill Bryson ; Charlie Huston ; Michael Pollan ; Jared Diamond ; Neil Gaiman ; Carl Sagan ; Tad Williams ; William Gibson ; Matt Taibbi ; Charles Stross ; Chalmers Johnson ; P.G. Wodehouse ; Naomi Klein ; Connie Willis ; David Gutterson & Howard Zinn.

I feel that The Big Lebowski and Dr. Strangelove are two of the greatest tales ever put to film, and probably go a long way towards describing my sense of humor.

I am now, and will forever be a Bronco's fan, even last year ;) I am also a big Alabama fan. Roll Tide (I'm afraid I cannot be held liable for any ungentlemanly utterances when in the presence of gators, tigers, gamecocks & other assorted detritus of the SEC).

I'm an Ethical Omnivore, and I love discussing issues surrounding food production and distribution. Because of my current status as a broke-ass student, what this effectively means is that I'm a vegetarian 95% of the time.

I should also probably add in here that I'm a big fan of beer, coffee, & cannabis. I'm not at all against people who are clean & sober, or who like to do stronger drugs, but I'm not really interested in going in either of those directions.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Earth
2. Fire
3. Wind
4. Water
5. Heart
6. Don Cheadle
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Racism, Misogyny and Bigotry, and how we can harness Anthropology, Geography, and Diplomacy to obliterate them.

How to get all these fundamentalist holy-rollers and the Austrian-schooled liberty peddlers to evolve towards a reality-based worldview? You cannot claim to be a moral person while at the same time indulging in luxury in the face of the penury of your neighbors. Altruism is coded for in the primate genome dudes.

The future, is it gonna be some whimsical version where we're all Bertie Woosters, being shepherded through the pleasant but confusing meanderings of our lives by wise, droll, robotic Jeeves', or will it basically be like like George Orwell thought: "A boot stamping on a human face ... forever"?

Dang ol' Science man, it's my jam.

Primates, cause, you know. One of my greatest wishes is that some day they will be able to stick my brain in an orangutan's body. That would be pretty sweet.

Am I violating Kant's practical imperative in a given situation? Is that even something I should be worried about, or is utilitarianism more important?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Volunteering at the most awesome bookstore in Fort Collins
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If people around me are crying, its hard for me to hold back tears. Watching Toy Story 3 in the theater with my mom was kind of embarrassing.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-You think you're awesome

-You think I might be awesome (I'm pretty sure I am, but you should probably take that with a grain of salt considering the source)

-You want to make the world a better place

-You know the name of the wind

-You've ever wondered if an octopus could outwrestle a chimpanzee

-You know where your towel is

-You're SpottieOttieDopaliscious and enjoy any and all combinations of fish, grits, and pimp-shit