(and it's currently waaaaay too long. There are several unintentional repeats of information and some stuff that is irrelevant or maybe just stuff I don't need to say upfront. Then again, I do believe in complete honesty, and that includes telling even your negative traits.)
Okay, let's start with the most basic thing. I am recently out of an extremely destructive relationship that's left me damaged and messed up in ways I didn't think I could be. To sum it up in 2 sentences:
Gods I miss him!
Gods I hope the restraining order sticks!
Actually I'm not missing him so much any more. Time does wonders....
Anyway, I am not really looking for a relationship and definitely not a casual fuck. I'm just dipping my toes in to see what's out there, and I'm very annoyed currently that this site keeps suggesting guys with facial hair. I detest it. It itches when you kiss and it makes me wonder why a guy's hiding behind it. Is there a way I can filter that? (Right, you can say the same about women and make up, but I don't wear it all the time.)
So anyway, you can ignore like half the stuff, except the half that's still valid. That's the half that's, like, mixed in with the other half. Right. So, now that that's cleared up, let's move onward. I'm no longer quite the raging psycho bitch I come across as part of the time, but I really am a raging psycho bitch for the parts that I need to be. Are you still following? I can actually clear that part up for you a little. ALL CAPS generally means it still pisses me off. I am no longer on the path of self destruction (I hope), but I sometimes still remember the thrills with a smile. I'm not sure if I'm on the right track yet, but I think I managed to stop the train wreck in time, this time. So you can message me. I won't call out the dogs, unless you deserve them. However, I may still call out my cat, as soon as I get one.
I have done some revamping to my life and finally got around revamping this. Biggest factor is the no longer being completely opposed to men, just cautious, and I reserve the right to be as picky as I damned well please and reject relentlessly! That said, I still prefer to be the one making the approach, so unless you've got something really creative to say about me and uniquely me, please move along.
If I do, by chance, get involved with you, never EVER ask me why I'm still with you or why I love you or whatever. I'll think about it, and question, and ::POOF!:: I'll disappear.
My goal in life is to become the creepy old woman living in the dilapidated house at the end of the road with all the cats. Unless of course I go through with the gender change, in which case I'll become the mean old man at the end of the block with the vicious wolf-dog. I'm mainly on here for the quizzes, and laughing at idiots' profiles.
From my results on the "Ideal Job for Your Personality" test on here:
"You don't do well with people. Avoid them at all costs. Machines are your best friend."
Why pot head idiot guys add me to their favorites list when I clearly state that I'm ALLERGIC TO POT and not interested is beyond even my exceptional intelligence. I guess they've got the misconception that increasing the band width will improve their connection speed, when the opposite is true. ::shrug:: The ratio of stupid people to intelligent ones increases every generation. See Idiocracy.
At any rate, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship right now, just friendship. I really hate being hit on, especially via the internet, really REALLY hate being hit on by guys with the mental capacity of a Neanderthal or less! (Yes, this means YOU, the one typing up a message right now.) I'm strong and independent, and have no problems whatsoever in approaching a person that I'm interested in.
Oh, I pretty much don't respond to people who haven't taken
the dating persona test: http://www.okcupid.com/oktest3 I know it's silly, but it actually is pretty accurate, and I like to know what I'm dealing with up front.
One thing: My son is grown and I can no longer bear children, but I miss having little ones around. I would definitely be open to a single dad contacting me.
Aside from that, I really can't stand people who can't even type proper English while claiming to be fluent in it. I have better grammar in Russian, German, and Latin than most people on this site seem to have in English, and I admit that I speak those three languages quite poorly!
I am getting back into the goth scene after several years of absence, so maybe I'll see you out c lubbing...
Oh, and on the drug thing, I am ALLERGIC to pot (So don't do it where I can breathe it! Actually, don't do it at all.) and CAN'T STAND TWEAKERS, of any sort. I don't care if it's speed, coke, crack, meth, whatever... I DON'T LIKE the way people get when they use it! Meth is definitely the worst though. DIE IN A FIRE (from your meth lab?) if you use the stuff. Please, no drugs whatsoever, and I'm not even sure if I'm open to some one in recovery. I've lost the last 2 boyfriends to relapses.
I am intelligent, creative, and weird