Good God. I thought I had some clue what to write here. I did.
Honest. But then I opened the page, deleted the previous rambling
whatnot, and my mind went blank. It happens on occasion. Usually
when staring at a white and blue background and realizing that I
can now use the rest of this space to write practically anything.
They should start enforcing strict summary rules, like making
everyone use at least 18 characters, or make it so that every
profile must contain the sentence "And that's how I ended up half
naked in the Denny's parking lot."
When not writing nonsense here, I like to bake, cook, wander, read,
and generally do what other people do. I'm pretty laid back, and
generally up for anything. Life is too short to take it too
What I’m doing with my life
A former friend of my parents' - the same man that pulled a tooth
out of my mouth with a pair of pliers back when I was 7 - once told
me that I need a game plan. At the time I had been forcefully
recruited, along with my younger brother, into helping him load
"antiques" into his trailer, since that was what he considered to
be his job. He had a game plan. He sold "antiques". He now drives
around the country mooching off of others. I have no idea what
happened to the antiques.
Any plan I make is generally loose. I value my flexibility. I'm
good at improvising strategies and generally making shit up as I go
along. This method has served me well for a few decades. It doesn't
really seem to work when writing profiles, but then what
That is not to say that I don't have ambitions and goals. I just
like to play a little loose when it comes to mapping things out.
Sometimes the journey is the destination. Just like sometimes
fortune cookies make sense.
Wait, what was I supposed to write about here?
I’m really good at
I'm apparently a good cook, a decent writer, a journeyman
photographer, and excellent coffee drinker.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably my height. I'm also kind of thin. People notice
Occasionally my inner monologue has a cockney accent. Not many
people notice that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: Arcade Fire, Destroyer, The National, Andrew Bird,
Starfucker, Fucked Up, Wye Oak, Sunset Rubdown, Meat Loaf, Tom
Waits, Nick Cave, Sufjan Stevens, Toto, Big Black, Kanye West, Jay
Z, The Stones, Beck, Others, Such, and Things.
Books: Gravity's Rainbow, The Wind Up Bird Chronicle, Horns, Lord
of the Flies, The Great Gatsby, The Stranger, Cat's Cradle, House
of Leaves, John Dies at the End, Perdido Street Station
Shows: the Walking Dead, Community, Parks and Recreation, Black
Adder, Monty Python, Doctor Who, The Soup, It's Always Sunny, The
Mighty Boosh, Brass Eye, The IT Crowd
Podcasts: Pop Culture Happy Hour, Comedy Bang Bang, Walking the
Room, The Flop House, This American Life, Uh Yeah Dude, Doug Loves
Movies, Pod F Tompkast.
Food: anything except mushrooms and olives.
The six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Random boxes of information that I willingly leave on the internet.
I also think about, in no specific order; pop culture, laundry,
food, cooking, physics, math, sociology, verisimilitude, and cats.
Did you know that there are pictures of cats on the internet?
People also make videos of cats. Cats! We are truly living in a
On a typical Friday night I am
Apparently playing cards against humanity with friends, or hanging
out at home, or reading, or doing laundry, or cooking. I like to
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I walked outside today to see a fat squirrel stealing a cupcake out
of my trash. When I tried to take a picture, it ran away with the
cupcake still in its mouth. Fat squirrel exists!
You should message me if
You want to.
You have the antidote.
You like bad jokes and wandering around Boston.
You like beer and random conversation.