I was born (and remain) The Luckiest Bastard on Earth™; I grew up in a well-hyphenated family; I was an excellent student in mediocre schools then a mediocre student at an excellent college; I lived incredibly boring lives in the two most exciting cities on the East Coast and worked very hard as a hands-off activist; I heard about polyamory and for some reason decided it would be easier to explore back in my conservative home state (and I was right). Since my return, I've gradually alienated most of the people who'd once begged me to come back; I've found love(s) when I wasn't looking and come to view "expectation" as a four-letter-word; I got into activism, then facilitation, and worked that into community-building, but now I've started kind of hating any group that loves me too easily; I spent years honing my personal guidelines for self-awareness and communication, but I've thrown them out the window to become a better caregiver to my personal hero as he faces dementia.

I am enthusiastic, peaceful, and quixotic.

Being an am-BAD-ASS-ador for polyamory/ethical non-monogamy, better relationships in general, and a more sex-positive culture.

In Texas.

I told you I was quixotic...

I am polyamorous with arisekraken, renaissancesun, and a former user. I also maintain something between LDRs and vacationships with inara_serra and another former user. My favorite allies are located in Colorado, Austin, and California, but I also have good friends in DC and NYC; until I can travel again, I can only hope to lure those connections here!

I'm also a 24/7 caregiver for an elderly relative. For now, my schedule is somewhat flexible, but I don't get to leave the house for more than a few hours at a time without weeks of planning. My social needs having become impossible to meet, my extroversion is giving way to a more introverted, creative phase.

Acceptance. Patience. Bizarre analogies. Karaoke. Driving. Voting. Syntax. Illustration. Putting on Chap Stick with one hand. Writing. Crafting excellent playlists.

From farthest to closest: Tall. Pretty, long hair. Expressive eyes. Articulate hands. Sexy brain. Big heart. Strong ventricles. O+ blood.

Some of these selections are deeply flawed, but their flaws have only endeared them to me further; by all means, call them out on their culturally normative bullshit, but don't be surprised if I can agree whole-heartedly and go right back to watching without breaking my smile.

My favorite narratives (mostly novels) have this odd thread of intellectual white dudes deepening their understanding of the world around them and indulging their curiosities to accomplish something greater than themselves (Arrowsmith, Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, The Count of Monte Cristo, Frankenstein). I'm not sure whether that says more about me or local English curricula, but I should add that I haven't read much fiction in recent years. For nonfic, I like anything that examines intersectionality, particularly domestic identities of race, class, and sexuality.

Movies: I <3 Huckabees, Ghostbusters, Bamboozled, Short Bus, SLC Punk!, Bulworth, Love Actually, Fifth Element, The Big Hit, The Dark Knight. Common themes? Um... Irreverence? Visual innovations? Audience discomfort? Let's just go with general flippancy. More perplexing: I have neither strong love nor hate for any saga of Star Wars or LOTR, I don't care to ever see X-Men 1 or 3 or The Dark Knight Rises again, but I liked the entire Matrix Trilogy.

Shows--Musicals or TV? Let's do both!
Theater: Les Misérables, Rent, ... okay, I've seen and enjoyed other shows, but these are the ones I always come back to; I'm really curious to see the latest revival of Porgy & Bess, though (thanks in no small part to the legacy of Ella & Louis).
TV: M*A*S*H, Red Dwarf, Clone High, Scrubs, Blackadder, Life (2007--I swear that show was originally written for an audience of me!), How I Met Your Mother... Anyone remember Nothing Sacred from 1997? Just me? My favorite Star Trek is DS9, my favorite Doctor is 10 (though 11 gets better stories +River Song), and I want to throw something at the TV any time BBC America tries to advertise "original programming". Oh, and I saw Serenity before I ever watched Firefly and I came out enjoying and understanding each just fine.

Before I proceed, I should warn you that I love and still buy CDs. Not exclusively, but affectionately. Now, that said, my favorite CDs come from Dave Matthews Band, Duke Ellington, Esthero, Terri Hendrix, Dresden Dolls/Amanda Palmer, Ani DiFranco, Prince, Aerosmith, MIKA, St. Vincent, and Modest Mouse. I like dynamic music (and Oxford commas).

I eat out a lot; it's a benefit and a drawback of being a caregiver. When I pick, my first choice is likely to be Chipotle, Jason's Deli, pizza & wings, Indian, barbeque, or Thai. I practice meatless Mondays; I grew up in a very meat-centered household and think my personal health (and environmental sustainability) could both benefit from eating LESS meat and MMs are a way to coax learning. When I cook, it's likely to be some variation on the recipe: "combine ingredients you like, prepare until done": stir-fries, smoothies, tasty combinations of cheese and cracker; I take my tea much more seriously, but in none of these cases do I like having to shop for rare or uber-specific ingredients (unless you happen to be driving through Nashville, in which case could you bring me back a couple pounds of Jack's Ribs and a bottle of original BBQ sauce please?).

No spot for games and video games? Well, I like social games (e.g. Apples to Apples, Monte Python Flux), social video games (Mario Kart, Rock Band -- as long as I get to drum), and pretty much all the Final Fantasy games ever.

Communication, hot tea, flirtation, epidermal & esophageal application of dihydrogen oxide, music that engrosses me, Chap Stick

What layer to shed next.

Patterns of resonance, entropy, and discovery.

In recent months, I've found myself going through two-week cycles of grief as pieces of my activist life give way to my caregiver life. These are intense, quick, and cumulative, but what I really should be doing is setting aside some time for self-care before I surprise myself (like when I deactivated my 500+ friend Facebook account as an April Fools Day prank and then decided not to reactivate it on the 2nd!).

Hanging out with one or more of my amazing local lovers, hearing about their weeks and planning to make the most of the short weekend.

I'm often active in the North Texas Poly community; join us for dinner the third Friday of every month at BuzzBrews on Lemmon.

I say "yall". And although I've always gotten away with it because I'm from North Texas, I learned it while listening to hip-hop growing up (there's a subtle difference in pronunciation, mine is a monophthong vs. the Texan diphthong). Don't believe me? Pay attention to my speech patterns: I guarantee you the musical influences will show sooner than the cultural. Of course both influences have taught me to be wary of anyone who says they like "all music except country and rap", but we can talk about the relationship between unchecked hyperbole and socioeconomic biases another time (perhaps while I play you my favorite selections of jazz, bluegrass, bhangra, punk, celtic, and opera?).

You liked my Poly-Gon Quiz and want to hear more.
You want info on a North Texas Poly event.
You are (or have been) a caregiver and want to commiserate.

I know BDSM & poly are like bread-and-butter in this area, but it's worth mentioning that I only seem to connect well with kinksters who don't comfortably identify with the local scene.

I should also mention that my sexual orientation is a label-fucking work in progress. Because I have much more experience and comfort dating women, I am not currently looking for men online. However, if you have ever found yourself wanting to rebuild masculinity (and/or all things gender) from the ground up, I enthusiastically welcome your friendship.

April 2013: This phase of my life is constantly challenging and shifting. I find myself comfortably poly-saturated at the moment, with all the love and support I need locally. Once in a great while, I do wax nostalgic for the kind of sexy adventures I used to have while traveling. I can talk for hours on ways to better negotiate intimate acts between strangers or friends -- if this does NOT sound boring to you and you don't mind working with my quirky schedule, you should definitely drop me a line. :)