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54 Alameda, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 32–55
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
6′ 5″ (1.96m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Not at all
Open relationship
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.

I'm an ethically non-monogamous top, creative, entertaining, and collaborative--and sometimes a switch. I'm not exclusively kinky, but I lean strongly that way, and get along well with those who do.

I'm in a long-term, stable, and rewarding primary relationship. I am not looking for romance, new dating partners, or committed relationships, but for friends who share common interests. I'm good to talk and collaborate with, sapiosexual, fun to be around, and test out as an ENFJ, if you're interested in that sort of thing.

Rather than write a bunch of stuff on this page, I've written lots of comments on the various questions with the idea that you'll see what I think about things that you're interested in. That's the theory, anyway. Let me know how it works.

If you're interested or curious about me, my profile, or what I write about, please drop me a note!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm doing a lot of things, but for purposes of this OKC profile, I'm looking for women who are interested in meeting for regular play. I'm always happy to meet a Good Girl.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Hand spanking.
Creative use of household tools and objects.
Talking and writing about non-monogamy and kink, and the negotiations and discussions that make it more fun.
Fun things.
Also: a good kisser.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Old punk, love the classics, now listening to a wide variety of stuff--jazz, downtempo, electronica. Haven't heard much new rock that I'm fond of, but am still looking.
Movies--Secretary is always fun.
More to come, probably.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Six clothespins.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The nature of bdsm and D/s sexual relationships. Here's a Dan Savage quote that caught my seems to speak to a lot of how I approach kink and topping:

"A person can safely explore degrading fantasies—so long as he/she is capable of compartmentalizing this stuff. Basically you have to build a firewall between your fantasies and your self-esteem...Call it the bottom's paradox: a D/s sub who takes ownership of his or her desires is in control, not being controlled, regardless of how things might appear to a casual or misinformed observer."

Of course 'degrading' is a value judgment, and it was appropriate in context, but I still like the idea of the firewall.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I try not to have typical nights, and frequently succeed.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Private things are scattered all through my comments on the OKC questions.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you are looking for a fun play partner.
If you own your own sexuality and know what you want--or if you are interested in exploring new aspects of your sexuality.
You are not looking for a monogamous relationship.
If you enjoy the communication that makes kink more fun.
You like tall men.
If you think that being able to laugh and have fun and also have great sex is important.
If you like talking about different aspects of kink and mon-monogamy.