Hi!

I'm an ethically non-monogamous non-toppy top (sometimes a 'service top,') a creative and entertaining non-domly dom, and sometimes a switch. Not exclusively kinky, but I lean strongly that way, and get along well with those who do.

I'm in a long-term, stable, and rewarding primary relationship. I am not looking for romance, new dating partners, or committed relationships, but for friends who share common interests. I'm good to talk and collaborate with, fun to be around, and test out as an ENFJ, if you put stock in that sort of thing.

Rather than write a bunch of stuff on this page, I've written a number of comments on the various questions with the idea that you'll see what I think about things that you're interested in. That's the theory, anyway. Let me know how it works.

I've got an OKC profile that's more conventional than this one, with photos, etc., and once I know you better I'll point you there. I made this profile because Fetlife kind of skeeves me out.

If you're interested or curious about me, my profile, or what I write about, please drop me a note!

I'm doing a lot of things, but for purposes of this OKC profile, I'm looking for women who are interested in meeting for regular play. I'm always happy to meet a Good Girl.

Hand spanking.
Creative use of household tools and objects.
Talking and writing about non-monogamy and kink, and the negotiations and discussions that make it more fun.
Fun things.
Also: a good kisser.

Tall.

Old punk, love the classics, now listening to a wide variety of stuff--jazz, downtempo, electronica. Haven't heard much new rock that I'm fond of, but am still looking.
Movies--Secretary is always fun.
More to come, probably.

Six clothespins.

The nature of bdsm and D/s sexual relationships. Here's a Dan Savage quote that caught my eye...it seems to speak to a lot of how I approach kink and topping:

"A person can safely explore degrading fantasies—so long as he/she is capable of compartmentalizing this stuff. Basically you have to build a firewall between your fantasies and your self-esteem...Call it the bottom's paradox: a D/s sub who takes ownership of his or her desires is in control, not being controlled, regardless of how things might appear to a casual or misinformed observer."

Of course 'degrading' is a value judgment, and it was appropriate in context, but I still like the idea of the firewall.

I try not to have typical nights, and frequently succeed.

Private things are scattered all through my comments on the OKC questions.

If you are looking for a fun play partner.
If you own your own sexuality and know what you want--or if you are interested in exploring new aspects of your sexuality.
You are not looking for a monogamous relationship.
If you enjoy the communication that makes kink more fun.
You like tall men.
If you think that being able to laugh and have fun and also have great sex is important.

STERN LEGAL WARNING AND NOTIFICATION: Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for articles, books, essays, publications, studies, projects, advertising, sales, or any other reason-you DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have done this, or do this in the future, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice.