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FunandPainless

48 M Chicago, IL

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:22pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Catholicism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
$100,000–$150,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), Irish (Poorly), Bulgarian (Poorly), Russian (Okay), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I have an abundance of curiosity and I am forever amazed by the movement of life...it's people, politics, events, even the daily drama of friends and family.... I have a huge network of friends that I have known since grade school....

"A good friend will help you move....A great friend will help you move a body".....
K.O. Circa 1992

In social engagements I can easily take on the role of Leading Man but I'm just as comfortable in the best supporting actor role as well. I have a wicked sense of humor that I'm sure is some type of defense mechanism. I've been in sales for almost my entire working career. I'm sure I have A.D.D.... I have the attention span of Navel Lint but ironically, I can hold a conversation on anything from Hissing cock roaches to Almond Butter.

I am very creative and extremely HANDY!....Seriously! I can do anything with my hands and I own every power tool known to man. I'm a lot like that junk drawer in the kitchen...you know the one I'm talking about....I'm the first place you look and the last place you look when you can't find what you're looking for. I'm a 110mph, I'm tangled up and complicated, I can be ultra sensitive at times and easily tear up at those animal cruelty commercials. I'm every contradiction you can think of. I can "Busta Move" ....seriously; I can really get my groove on when I have to. I am the most polite person you'll ever meet. I'm romantic, silly, playful, goofy, engaging, sensual, ironic, curious and oh!....I've been told I'm very, very funny.
On a side note:...It always cracks me up when I read profiles that say "My friends would describe me as_____________?????" REALLY?....they're YOUR FRIENDS.....They should say nice things about you or they wouldn't be YOUR FRIENDS. Let me hear from your enemies...Now that would be some interesting reading....Just kidding! Thanks for taking the time to view my ramblings....NOW GET BACK TO WORK!
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a single dad with custody of two teenage girls that mean the world to me. But they have become very low maintenance and do not require much from me other than a $20 spot every time they pass me. I work full time and travel for my job about every 3-6 weeks. I also own a successful business interest and I am very active between my work, my business, my girls, working out and trying to solve life's everyday curve balls.
I work hard....but I'm learning to strike a balance between the Rat Race and Recess
I’m really good at
Maintaining a conversation with humor, knowledge and Irish wit. I can talk about nail polish or Nial, my Polish cleaning Lady. I'm also great at any type of construction project. I can fix anything from apple carts to broken hearts and doorbells to drywall. I can talk anyone off the ledge. I'm a very ambiguous thinker and look at life with some very strange "goggles" at times....OH!....and I have impeccable hand printing....my cursive sucks but my hand printing is off the charts.
The first things people usually notice about me
The mischievous looking grin on my face and my size....I'm 6'4" 220lbs......Plus I'm not shy at all. I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone and it's a sure bet that they'll be laughing or smiling within seconds
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I recently finished the entire Seuss collection...This time without the aid of Cliff Notes...."Green Eggs and Ham" being my favorite. I'm actually a big fan of everything John Irving. I am actually a bit of a foodie and love to cook and entertain. I'm actually a big fan of the word "actually"....I have a huge taste in music that runs from 70s - 80s rock to everything current...this even includes some Rap and country. My movies would include Shawshank Redemption, One Flew over the Cookoo's Nest, Good Fella's, The Godfather,....and of course JAWS...C'mon,....I'm a guy! As far as shows are concerned...Food Network cooking shows (Please don't tell the guys)...Oh!....and I'm addicted to the First 48....something about police work that I find very intriguing.
The six things I could never do without
My "Girls"
Love
Bacon
Friends/Family
Beaches
Comfortable shoes
The other side of the pillow
Fresca
A warm sun on my face
Bandaids and Neosporin
Slurpee Straws
Genetically altered food
A well paced comma (I'm hungry; let's eat, Grandpa....or.....I'm hungry; let's eat grandpa)
Did I say bacon already?
Screw it! Let's wrap Grandpa in bacon and eat him
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Because of my ADD....I normally can't stay focused long enough to think too deeply on anything....Wait, what was the question?....Oh yeah.... Because of my ADD....I normally can't stay focused long enough to think too deeply on anything....Wait, what was the question?....yeah,....I did that on purpose
On a typical Friday night I am
I'm probably posting bond. OOPS, did I say that out loud?... NO!...just kidding. It's a good bet that I'm Chillaxing with the fellas....dispensing cash to my girls....Finding my way to the bottom of a good Red....Tap dancing....entertaining....preparing for Saturday....but mostly just hanging with friends, doing a fest or a live music venue.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You gotta be kidding!....This is not something I am willing to throw out there for everyone to see.... especially on the World Wide Web. This conversation will have to wait for a night of drunken debauchery. Ok, I'll admit it....in 6th. grade, I removed that label from my mattress that is "punishable by law". I've been on the lam ever since.....They'll never catch me
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 38–58
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You'll visit me in prison and you like the smell of chloroform (I'M KIDDING) Ok, seriously. You should drop me a line If you're attracted to humor, great conversations and you're not afraid of PDA (For you youngins; PDA is not a STD. It stands for "Public Display of Affection") Also; if you can handle some good, clean (or dirty) fun and you won't file a restraining order within the first 6 months (JUST KIDDING) OK, SERIOUSLY....Shoot me a message if you're ok with an "edgy" creative thinker and you're looking for an "old school" type of boyfriend who is funny, romantic, has great table manners, is very respectful and is a true gentleman.....There, I'm done.