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54 Lynnwood, WA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 30–60
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 11
5' 9" (1.75m)
Body Type
A little extra
Other but it’s not important
Doesn’t want kids
Has cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a relative newcomer to the Seattle area, having moved here in 2013 after selling my house in Baltimore, packing everything into my SUV, and taking off on a long-dreamt-of exploration of the continent. I heard that Seattle was cool, so stopped here for a while to see if it lived up to its rep. When I found it did, I moved here permanently, and couldn't be happier. Mountains, mild winters and summers, year-round greenery, liberal politics, hordes of fellow geeks, and the Center for Sex-Positive Culture - what's not to love?

Long ago, a friend of mine suggested that, when meeting people, it was unwise to 'lead with your wierd'. While that's excellent advice when meeting strangers face-to-face, it's boring - and rarely leads to the kind of connections that I actually enjoy. My life *is* wierd, by contemporary standards, and the people I want in it are ones who share my offbeat interests and lifestyle.

So, if you're not actively interested in meeting a kinky polyamorous pagan nudist gamer and SF fan, who incidentally also likes hiking, animals, movies, sushi, and visiting places profiled by Atlas Obscura, then you really needn't read any further, as we almost certainly will have nothing in common.

On the other hand, if you *would* like to meet such a person, then please drop me a line, as I'm sure I'd like to meet you, too!

However, I'm not holding my breath. Yes, I'm single, but I have several ongoing relationships that keep me pretty happy, and I'm quite enjoying having actual alone-time for the first time in decades. On the other hand, all my current partners happen to married to someone else (see polyamorous above), so there is definitely room in my life for other people. While I'd love to find a primary partner to share the rest of my life with, it's not my top priority. However, finding more friends to hike, travel, see the city, talk, play games, watch movies, and otherwise play with is *always* an interest of mine.

My non-boring interests tend to be of the geeky variety. At one time or another, my social life has centered around one or more of theater, SF fandom, roleplaying, and the SCA, though none of those are primary communities of mine at present. I'm deeply interested in reading, writing, relationships, history, astronomy, evolutionary biology, Aikido, archery, mythology, dog training, movies, amusement parks, and both computer and board games. I love animals, and while I no longer have a dog or cats, I still stop to scritch every animal that seems even slightly friendly.

Professionally, I used to be a software engineer, and founded a dot com online gaming company in the late 90's. It failed, like so many others, but I had enough left over that I didn't need to work for many years. I am still financially independent, though far from rich. Still, I much prefer having time than wealth, as time is the one resource that I can never gain more of.

Relationship-wise, I'm single, dating, mostly straight, and looking for people to enjoy spending time with, while always being open to possibilities. I have never been married and have no kids, but have lived with several partners at different times, the longest for 13 years, most of whom are still good friends. I am quite committed to open, consensual non-monogamy in all my relationships for the rest of my life, and someday hope to find a lifelong primary partner who shares that commitment. While I prefer having a few deep long-term relationships rather than a lot of casual friendships, I've learned to not put all my emotional eggs in one basket, and am actively trying to broaden my social life.

Spiritually, I'm a committed atheist Wiccan with an interest in Buddhist and Tantric teachings, and have been since childhood. I'm rather more into rationalist show-me skepticism than trustful faith about lot of matters, but I've had my share of unexplainable synchronicities, so I try not to be dogmatic. In any case, I've come to the conclusion that things like deities, spirits, and spirituality are just as real and important - and as unreal, in a physical sense - as things like love, honor, and truth. And I'm *really* into love, honor, and truth.

Sexually - not that it matters for just friends, but this IS a dating site, after all - I'm extremely open-minded, GGG, way kinky, and am quite committed to polyamory. I'm mostly straight, though heteroflexible; while I don't actively seek out same-sex partners, I'm open to the possibility. I've been active in the BDSM community for many years as a top and Dom, playing almost exclusively with long-term partners. While I really enjoy sex and play (they're my favorite activity, after sleeping), I'm way more into intimacy and energy exchange than just the physical sensations. I totally agree with Bianca Jagger's quote - “Unless there's some emotional tie, I'd rather play tennis". And I don't even *like* tennis.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Enjoying it! I tend to spend my days alone, either writing stories or playing games or occasionally building something steampunky. About half my evenings I'm out, usually at a CSPC event with one of my partners. A sprained ankle sidelined me the past summer, but I'm looking forward to going out hiking and camping more, especially if I can find someone to do them with.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
All sorts of things, at various times - like writing, history, massage, Aikido, archery, gaming, computer programming, BDSM and sex. When I get interested in something, I tend to throw myself into it, and get pretty good pretty quickly. However, I tend to get distracted by some new hobby in a few years, so I'm more of a jack-of-all-skills rather than master of any one.

Except, I hesitate to admit, BDSM and sex. Those two things have *always* interested me, I've studied a lot, have a huge library on the topics, and when with a partner, I like to practice them lot. Seriously. Kinky sex has been my primary hobby for a looong time, and it's not just my ego saying that I'm really good at it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm told it's my smile. However, I like to also think that most people I meet quickly notice that I enjoy making them smile, too.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books, books, and more books: I am a total biblioholic. My house is overflowing with books on every topic that has ever interested me, which is a pretty vast spectrum. Currently, the largest and most used collections are history, sexuality, and writing, but I also have shelves and boxes full of science, humor, spirituality, folklore, and mythology.

In fiction, nowadays I mostly read urban fantasy and erotica. My absolute faves are the Discworld, Harry Potter, and Dresden Files series, which are the *only* books I buy in hardcover the moment they come out. Otherwise, I like the Anita Blake series, old Anne Rice (especially the Sleeping Beauty trilogy), the Bernie Rhodenbarr series by Lawrence Block, Frank Miller graphic novels, collections of Charles Addams cartoons, and anything by Neil Gaiman. Historically, I come from SF/fantasy fandom, where my classic faves include Tolkein, Heinlein, Asimov, Neal Stephenson, Katherine Kurtz, L Sprague deCamp, Larry Niven and Ursula Le Guin, though I haven't re-read most of them in ages.

But I read way more non-fiction that fiction. For light entertainment, I love Barbara Tuchman, Stephen Jay Gould, Richard Dawkins, Jared Diamond, and Scientific American, but those are just the tips of a very large iceberg. Specific recent faves include Sex at Dawn, Guns Germs and Steel, The World Without Us, The Ancestor's Tale, and Collapse.

Movies: I love movies. Besides having a large home collection, I see several every month in the theater. I have always enjoyed action, SF, action, comedy, animation, and cult movies, and have friends who have introduced me to the charms of horror.

My favorite movies - that is, the ones I have often re-watched - include Sherlock Holmes, Inglorious Basterds, Casino Royale, The Godfather I& II, Goodfellas, Big Trouble in Little China, The Incredibles, Sin City, Pulp Fiction, Star Wars (NOT 'A New Hope' - I mean the *original*), Casablanca, Catch-22, The Dark Knight, Chinatown, The Matrix, and (the standard against which I judge all other movies) Aliens.

I'm also quite fond of an obscure little vampire flick called Innocent Blood, which contains everything I could ever want in a movie (darkness, humor, love, trust, vampires, blood, action, nudity, sex, violence, handcuffs, and a strong female lead, all played by the delightful Anne Parrilaud of La Femme Nikita), *PLUS* is set in the Pittsburgh neighborhood that I used to live in!

Music: I'm not big on listening to music - I much prefer quiet. But when I do, I prefer classical and folk, with some classic rock thrown in. As far as I'm concerned, Loreena McKennit is the voice of the Goddess. I also like Clannad, Enya, Kiva, The Eagles, Pat Benatar, and (I hesitate to admit it) old Madonna songs. In classical, I prefer the late romantic tone poems of Debussy, Sibelius, and Richard Strauss.

Foods: Sushi. Dim Sum. Ice cream. Thai. Good steak. Milk chocolate - I know most chocoholics prefer the dark stuff, but so long as I get my Cadbury's, I don't mind being them calling me Mr. Philistine.

And in the 'they didn't ask but I'm telling you anyway department':

TV: TV has never been a big part of my life - the only reason I even bought an antenna was to watch Obama's inaguration, in fact. But I've loosened up in recent years, so I've been enjoying Castle, Arrow, Sherlock, Agents of SHIELD, Masters of Sex, Game of Thrones, Elementary, Dr Who, and Walking Dead. older series that I've loved watching older series such as Serenity, Bones, Battlestar Galactica, Heroes, Dexter, Family Guy, Buffy, Xena, Homicide, Monty Python, BBC Robin Hood, and of course Star Trek (both the original and NextGen).

Computer Games: I spent more time playing games than watching TV, mostly strategy and RPGs. My most recent time sinks have been Kerbal Space Program, the Fallout Series, Skyrim, the Mass Effect series, and Crusader Kings II. Older faves include Assassin's Creed, Civilization, the Fallout Series, the Dragon Age series, Dishonored, Half-Life and X-COM.

Board Games: Pandemic, 7 Wonders, Settlers of Cataan, Rummikub, Munchkins, Fluxx, Tales of the Arabian Nights, Arkham Horror, Last Night on Earth.

Webcomics: xkcd and Girl Genius!!!! Also SMBC, Schlock Mercenary, Questionable Content, Oglaf, and The Order of the Stick.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Friends. Books. Time. Love. Ice Cream.

And last but definitely not least, computers.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Writing, people and relationships.

But most especially, relationships. The way I see it, when I'm on my deathbed, I'm not going to look back and wish that I'd spent more time writing or watching movies or playing games - i.e. doing things with people in my head. Instead, I'm going to regret all the things that I never managed to do with the *real* people whom I love.

So, I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can do things that I love with people whom I love, and thus not have reason to look back and kick myself for having missed what's important in life.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
at home, with one of my partners, probably watching a movie before retiring the the bedroom. However, on the first Friday night of every month, we will *definitely* be at the Asylum - the CSPC's mad scientist and medical play party - where I will almost certainly be wearing a white lab coat, possibly speaking in a bad German accent, and 'torturing' (yeah, right - like it's even possible to 'torture' a masochist) my 'helpless' victim with things that make '50 Shades of Gray' seem tame.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Is just about anything, really. I don't have secrets - if you're curious, just ask and I will happily tell.

But for right here, let me just state that when say I'm a nudist, I'm not kidding. I started going bare secretly as a kid, haven't worn clothes at home since I got my own apartment in college, have been going to nudist clubs and events for decades now, and all my partners for the last 20 years have either been - or became - at least part-time nudists themselves. On my travels, I try to stay in nudist clubs as much as possible. However, I don't impose my lifestyle on other people, and always put on a robe before answering the door.

Needless to say, nudism is kind of central to my lifestyle. If you don't want to deal with that, I totally understand. On the other hand, if you like going bare, too, then you're definitely someone I'd like to get to know.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I used to say 'if you've read my profile and still want to get to know me'. Which is still true, in essence.

However, my dance card is rather full right now. So, if you're interested in *dating* me (as opposed to just saying 'hi, you sound cool'), then the bar is a little higher, I'm afraid.

Basically, to fit in my life as anything more than a casual friend, you NEED to be actively sex-positive, polyamorous, bisexual, submissive (or a submissive-leaning switch), into SF, and interested in the possibility of threesomes (or moresomes) with one or more of my other very cool partners, who are also all of the above.

And believe me, I feel both incredibly arrogant and incredibly lucky to have to say that.