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30 Seattle, WA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–42
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 12:01am
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Buddhism, and laughing about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of space camp
Rather not say
Has a kid, but doesn’t want more
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Poorly), Other (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"Want to see my spaceship?"

(Holy shit I have a wall of text... I think I'm going to put a TL;DR at the bottom... Yep it's there now!)

I've been thinking about the whole dad thing... And honestly, I have never introduced anyone to my son as a girlfriend in the almost nine years he has existed... So you know what... I really doubt I'm going to start now.

The point of this is that if you are someone who doesn't normally date someone with kids, my son shouldn't make any real difference, I've been broken up with his mom for seven years (So no baby mama drama), and you aren't going to meet him anyway. His mom does a great job being a mom, so I definitely am not looking for someone to take over that role either.

SO! My self-summary. (Yay! For. Sentence. Fragments!)

IN THE BEGINNING! GOD CREATED (NOTHING! Haha... see that... that's already a lowbrow shot at religion.)

Wait wait, I should skip a bit further ahead. So yeah, I was born and raised in Saint Louis Misery, I mean Missouri... Yeah Missouri! (You can see how I'd get those two confused) No I don't have an accent, well I can't say Dishwasher properly, but otherwise if you hear me talkin' country, you want to take my keys away pronto! I moved out to Seattle about 8 years ago now, I followed my son when his mom moved out here so I could be close to him. (And all sarcasm aside, I am glad she chose here, it's a pretty cool town) I am kind of over that party portion of my life, it was fun, but I just feel like there are much better things to do with my time.

I read a lot, when my son is at his mom's house I can and sometimes will spend four to six hours following a rabbit hole down Wikipedia... Not as bad as I once was though, the weekend I discovered Wiki as a young man, I literally forgot to eat for 48 hours. It's just so damned addicting clicking through the links and learning so much. Did you know that if you click the first link on a page eventually you will reach the article titled "Psychology." It was true at least several years ago.

When I was young I loved just hanging out in the woods, but these days I don't really know anyone who does that sort of thing. Are you one of those people? Cool, hit me up, just appreciate that I won't be good at it. (But I don't mind you laughing at me falling on my face constantly, so we should be good.) (Upon additional reading of this paragraph, I realized it didn't make much sense, I originally had something about snowboarding, but I edited it out. I'm just going to leave it though because it's funny.)

Oh, and for those who care I am an ENTP in the most extreme way one can be an ENTP... (I really love MBTI... It is like Astrology for people who are way to sciencey for Astrology, but still clearly not useful in any real meaningful way.)

I do a lot of stuff with my son, we go to the aquarium and the zoo a ton, and we play Minecraft together for hours sometimes. (Which, I must say, is a lot less boring than I thought it would be, after you heavily modify the core game to add things like space flight, and power suits... Yes they literally added Rocket Science to Minecraft.)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
This is my soapbox to be able to explain my plans for world domination.

Oh, did I mention I want to take over the world? Yeah... I swear I'm not a megalomaniac, I'm just bored. (I literally do most things in life because I am curious to see if I can.)

So anyway, the world domination plan. First I'm going to need to learn how to do extended scuba diving. (This is pretty integral to the plan, and honestly, as I've never even wore scuba gear... It is possibly the biggest obstacle currently standing in the way.) Have you spent some amount of time doing underwater welding? (If yes, please circle here)

After I've got the whole scuba piece figured out, I need to charter an expedition into the Atlantic to where the Titanic sank.

You know, maybe the scuba idea isn't the greatest... The Titanic is probably pretty deep in the ocean and I hear that you can get really sick if you surface too quickly after diving deep.

Okay, so plan B!

I'm going to build a "Growing Ray" and use it to make myself a giant. (This would be a great invention anyway, I mean... who couldn't stand to have a few more inches... Okay okay... Bad joke)

No, unfortunately we still haven't managed to manufacture enough unobtainium to power the Growing Ray properly.

Okay, well clearly this needs some more thought, maybe that's where you could come in!

Yes! I need someone to bounce my ideas off of... Are you the kind of girl who likes to listen to a smart, sophisticated, incredibly well spoken, and generally smooth guy talk? If so, you probably want to look elsewhere... I'm more of a scatterbrained genius type. Hell, now that I think about it... I'm not even sure why in the world I wrote all that stuff. Oh well! (What is a backspace key?)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Building forts...

I am a pretty good cook, but I really hate cleaning the mess up afterwards.

In general I am pretty awesome at life, and by awesome I mean lucky as hell.

"If your life had a face, I would punch it in the balls."
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Hmmm, honest answer? My teeth, those things are fucked up... I have some sort of disorder that makes my teeth stupid small and have gaps (This isn't really a disorder I don't think... Unless there is literally a disorder called "Small teeth syndrome." I don't think there is, but man am I afraid to google that shit.) Sometimes I feel like I look like an evil cartoon character with the sharp pointy teeth that are comically sharp.

Oh... Something good about me? I'm kind of arrogant. Though it's hardly arrogance if it's true, which it is.

Huh? Arrogance isn't a good thing? Are you sure??

Well I guess people notice my blue eyes and dark brown hair (Almost black) It is kind of contrasting and I'm told looks good.

(This question is awfully vain though...)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Lemme break it down for ya now:

Books: Carl Sagan, "Scott Pilgrim vs The World", "The Walking Dead", Thich Nhat Hahn, Randell Monroe, Textbooks, (Especially computer related ones, I love books about new programs, and books about development languages) “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the Trilogy of Five”, oh! I recently read "The Great Gatsby" and I was really impressed. I found myself accidentally talking like I was from the 1920s, to the surprise of those around me.

Movies: Pulp Fiction, Akira, Dark Knight…I finally watched 12 Monkeys the other day... That was a crazy fucking movie...

Shows: Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, Stephen Colbert, Sherlock, House of Cards, Cosmos, Archer, Gotham(Ish... I really dislike Bruce Wayne... He is such a whiny little...) and most any YouTube channel that is educational! (Nerdfighteria represent! SciShow is awesome!)

Food: Pretty much anything foreign is great. I am not a huge fan of American food because I grew up with it, so it feels kind of old hat now a days.

Music: (First off, wow... I can't believe I didn't have a music section here... I listen to a lot of it.) Gorillaz, This weird techno station that I found on called Goa-Psy, Yuki Kajiuri, The Seatbelts, Rancid, Muse... Well... Honestly, it's really hard to find music I don't like. I guess I'm not that discerning... I will say I'm not a huge fan of smooth jazz... I love old Jazz, and blues and such, but smooth jazz just doesn't do it for me. Also I usually don't like modern country. Yeah this turned long quick... Sorry reader, I'll try to use brevity in the... Actually I'm not going change any other part of my profile so...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Good reading materials. I can't stand not reading something as often as possible. News, Wikipedia, novels, instruction manuals. I love it all.

The Internet - I am addicted... Bad... Please help me... I NEED IT IN MY VEINS!!!

I am a social butterfly, so I start to go real crazy when I have no one to talk to. I tried to go camping by myself once, I lasted for a day and a half before I was talking to sticks and shit... True story.

My family, especially my Grandma... Kind of a lame thing to sit on this list, but she is fucking amazing... Her god damned Nickname when I was growing up was Grandma, like she was just EVERYONE'S Grandma.

My car sorta falls on this list. I really love that car a lot. Ask me about it, I'm a total nerd about it.

And last, but most definitely not least, my son is integral to my existence. I once responded to the question, "What would you do if you woke up tomorrow and were a five year old again with all the knowledge you have now?" And my response was to probably kill myself, I couldn't go 16 years without seeing my son, and honestly, if I were in that position, I probably wouldn't even have ever met his mother and not had him... he literally is the light of my world. (Get it... because he is my sUn? Har har)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How I'll make sure that the next crime I am accused of perpetrating will include the word nefarious in it.

I recently found out that they are passing a law here in Washington that will make use of drone for evil doing a crime that is punishable. That crime is called, "The nefarious use of a drone enterprise."

I'm sure there is more, I just have to make sure all my near future crimes qualify under the legal definition of nefarious. Bwahahaha!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
-edit- I was going to change this, but I listened to it again and got teary-eyed... Such a good god damned speech!

I cry every time I hear Carl Sagan's speech titled, "We humans are capable of greatness."
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Changing this out for a TL;DR because man I am totally into writing about myself!


Fucking awesome dude seeks cool chick, Interesting > Nice, Fun > Stable, Intelligent > Gleebglarb. (That means boring for the uninitiated.) I HAVE A KID! He is probably more awesome than both of us put together. DEAL WITH IT~! AAAAAND... SOME OTHER STUFF THAT I AM TYPING HERE (CAPS lock is cruise control for awesome.)

If you are an INTJ, I'll probably be super into you... I am a ranting ENTP, so we can discuss our world domination plans together, and you can probably manipulate me into manipulating a crowd of people into agreeing with you. Every 'mastermind' needs a charismatic 'inventor' to get assassinated first!