Allow myself to introduce...myself...
So everyone seems to hate talking about themselves, right? I mean, after all, it is kind of awkward and somewhat bizarre to write a list of things about yourself, but if you're a narcissist like myself then it's the greatest thing ever. Sarcasm doesn't really translate well on the internet, does it?(was that sarcasm? I'm falling down this rabbit hole...) My worldview probably has something to do with growing up with Seinfeld and then having Larry David continue my growth. So let's proceed by quoting Will Ferrell movies...we're going streaking, okay maybe not on the first date. You stay classy!
Live music in the summer with a cold beer *might* just be the closest we can get to heaven. A tailgate at a concert is always a good time. While I've toned down my concertgoing to, you know, try and save money cause that's important(or so my financial advisor tells me) I definitely try and hit up as many concerts as possible. So let's throw caution to the wind and sing at the top of our lungs and wake up with a raspy voice. It will at least make for an interesting conversation for the next morning at the office.
Speaking of offices, I work as a Program Director for an international business. I love what I do for work as it allows me to travel the good 'ol US of A as well as the world. Yeah, if you could go ahead and not tell my boss about those "odd" charges on my company credit card, that would be greeeaaattt.
I was at David Wells' perfect game. Life changing event. May have defined my sporting world view along with Mr. Seinfeld.
Without coffee, mornings would be a chore. I've always been a night owl. No good stories ever start with, "On Saturday morning..."
I keep things real and know how to laugh at life. Also I still smile when Third Eye Blind comes on so I hope you appreciate 90s throwback music as much as I do.
Overall I'd say this virtual resume is an accurate portrayal of a level-headed LAWN GUY-LINDAH (I promise I don't have that accent, although if that's what you're looking for, let's get a cup of cAWWWWfee) looking for an equally awesome girl. References furnished upon request. If you've also lost your debit card during an evening full of carousing in Little Rock, Arkansas I'm sure we will hit it off.
Ponder this: Why would the testimonies of a crazy homeless man, foreign delivery man, and a 5 year old boy hold any weight in a court of law? This movie just isn't the same 14 years later. Scuba Steve sleeps with the fishes. I'm sure you know the movie...right?