6'1" Cyber bully with a wit drier than the eyes of a heartless
bastard at a baby shampoo convention seeks epicurean looker who
doesn't learn from her mistakes and has never heard of a Disneyland
What I’m doing with my life
I'm five years into a four year degree but am already working
full-time in the field I'd like to go into. I plan on returning to
school as soon as paychecks lose their appeal.
I’m really good at
Horrible first impressions, buying bullshit for my apartment, and
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm tall and I wear ties voluntarily.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
1984, A Song of Ice and Fire, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Great
Gatsby, I Lucifer, American Gods, Fight Club, Survivor, American
Psycho, Less Than Zero, The World Without Us, Guns Germs and
American Psycho ("I'm on the verge of tears by the time we arrive
as Espace because I'm certain we won't get a decent table, but we
do. The relief washes over me in an awesome wave.") Boogie Nights
("I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big dick and I say when
we roll."), Taxi Driver ("How's everything in the pimp business?")
and Step Up 2: The Streets ("Don't worry. Everyone's just hatin on
you cause you're dope.")
Parks and Recreation, Game of Thrones, Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Steel Panther, Deadmau5, Skrillex, Kanye West, Benny Benassi,
Jay-Z, Common, David Bowie, The XX, Dead Man's Bones, John Legend,
Kid Cudi, Michael Jackson, Frank Ocean, The Weeknd, Nine Inch
Nails, The Garden State soundtrack.
Sushi, Soup, Mexican, Italian, Chinese.
The six things I could never do without
1. Netflix Instant
3. Bottled Water
4. Collar stays
6. Books n shit
I spend a lot of time thinking about
how few people truly understand the genius of Kanye West, the
future, how often stripper poles get Windexed, instagram captions
and how doomed the universe is if we are the most advanced species
On a typical Friday night I am
Trying cool poses while I wait for the bartender to stop ignoring
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I never learned how to hike.
You should message me if
You're weird (Don't be nice, bath temperature is supposed to be
nice), you have a sense of humor, the word "God" appears in profile
less than once, and please have a face.
Don't message me if you use Drake lyrics as hashtags or Instagram
captions. You probably didn't start from the bottom, it wasn't all
you, and you will still make plenty of new friends in your