Older Life Update: http://m.uploadedit.com/ban/1339043580646.gif
OK, that was supposed to be an animated GIF of me hanging out w/Fabio at a Whole Foods. I might put it back up some time but eh.
On that note, I'm considering replacing my whole profile with the contents of this:
Shockingly, I'm not gay. My user name is simply light on consideration. Here's the twist: my user name is taken from Jean Claude Van Damme's first credited role on IMDB. Not a great twist, I know. If you remember "Yasha555," that was me.
Important preliminaries out of the way. Here are things about me.
I disquietedly fly through life by the seat of my pants. I would like to be able to switch the universe back and forth between the one presented in Star Trek, and the one presented in the show Stella. While I am not (usually [very]) gay, I do wish I could switch sexes on command, though given my inability to do that, I'm happy I ended up with male. To cannibalize a message I sent to one of you, "I'm not the manliest tuft of chest hair in the hair drawer."
I entertain myself by imagining the world as different in small but important ways. E.g., say in the distant future we evolved to a state where our hands were actually tarantulas. Weird enough, sure, but then you realize that regular tarantulas would just be - to us - disembodied hands running around like what's his face from The Addams Family.
For another example of what you might be in for, I've held a long, involved, entirely straight-faced conversation with a bandmate regarding the socio-linguistic implications of a language spoken entirely in farts. We agreed that butt cheek articulation would be a major part of expressing mood and that meal planning would be a sort of meta-communication, but we disagreed on the metaphorical importance of pooping.
I'm sure by now it must be tempting to simply start humping away at your laptop with my profile up, but do read on!
(After the handful of dates since I got back to being an active OKCer, I'm slowly reminding myself of how reserved I can be with new people. If we meet, I'll be about half of the laugh and a half I may seem here. So up to three quarters of a laugh.)