Life Update: http://m.uploadedit.com/ban/1339043580646.gif
OK, that was supposed to be an animated GIF of me hanging out w/Fabio at a Whole Foods. I might put it back up some time but eh.

On that note, I'm considering replacing my whole profile with the contents of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpqzGhGPCuk

To be up front, I'm not gay. My user name is simply light on consideration. If you remember "Yasha555," that was me.

Important preliminaries out of the way. Here are things about me.

I disquietedly fly through life by the seat of my pants. I would like to be able to switch the universe back and forth between the one presented in Star Trek, and the one presented in the show Stella. While I am not (usually [very]) gay, I do wish I could switch sexes on command, though given my inability to do that, I'm happy I ended up with male.

I entertain myself by imagining the world as different in small but important ways. E.g., say in the distant future we evolved to a state where our hands were actually tarantulas. Weird enough, sure, but then you realize that regular tarantulas would just be - to us - disembodied hands running around like what's his face from The Addams Family.

I'm sure by now it must be tempting to simply start humping away at your laptop with my profile up, but do read on!

My current plan is this: low-stress part-time work while I do the game programming/being in a band I should have been doing in my twenties. If you wanna play my first game it's free on the App Store: https://itunes.apple.com/app/id546628210

I play ukulele in a little band called Mother Android. I coined the term "space shanties" for our style, though it turns out that term was used in the 70s for a terrible prog rock album. We once played live on KBOO at midnight. A stoned guy called in afterward to ask if we were influenced by Bobby Brown. My ukulele is named Skrindal, the amp my mom's boyfriend built for it (jealous?) is named Freega, and I love them dearly.

I resolved this year to take up a craft so that I can give people personal gifts. I went with 3D modeling + printing, and the first thing I 3D modeled was a spiny vagina'd monstrosity of a .. face ... that made me wonder whether I should be allowed access to creative tools. A lot of people had to reevaluate their opinion of me after seeing it. I hope I'm okay.

I guess I should also mention that I have a degree in mathematics, which some girls seem to find sexy. I also have one in economics, which is obviously less sexy.

- Boggle
- Used to be great at Scrabble, now I'm only OK
- I make the best Ful Medames in Portland
- People say my dancing is awesome - I was never sure if that meant it was good or just ridiculous until my gay friend told me I'm a really good dancer. But then I think he wants to do me, so I can't quite take it at face value either.
- Double Dragon 2: The Revenge
- Dungeon Mastering

The zen perfection of my chipped tooth,
blue eyes that can turn a lich,
my goaty impishness?

Last thing you notice is my delightfully shaped, if vanishingly small butt.

I didn't mean for that to sound like you'll die when you see my butt. Harnessing my Butt Medusa's powers is at the bottom of my agenda, I assure you.

Gimme fantasy and SciFi lately for books.

Movies? Talkin Herzog, Jodorowski, Kurosawa, Fulci, Bava, Cronenberg, Wilder, Bergman, Lang (Talkies > Mouth-Movies). Gimme good and bad horror from all eras, old westerns like StageCoach and The Searchers, so much movies.

Shows? Peep show, Buffy, GoT, BrBa, Spartacus. Stuff everyone likes these days. I have fond memories of staying up till 5 in the morning in the early 2000s watching super weird shows on SciFi. Remember Lexx?

Music. One of my hobbies is mining the internet for deep, rich veins of obscure 60s garage/psychedelic rock, especially foreign stuff. Not to say that's all I enjoy!

Food: I recently had a breakfast of eggs fried over medium and a nip of scotch. It was the most macho breakfast I've ever had. Normally I just go for the eggs and then graze on Triscuits and hummus throughout the day. I like my meat funky a la goat. If I could have a lifetime supply of one food product, it'd be Aardvark sauce. My favorite drinks are, in order, Islay whisky, bourbon that tastes like corn, and the inimitable Gin Ricky. To me, Coke Zero Cherry is what Coke tastes like.

Portland fare I've enjoyed greatly: Farm, Tarboush, Genoa, Loneseome's Pizza, Golden Horse, Higgins

1. My keyboard with the "meow" setting

I guess I already covered part of that in the summary. So there's that whimsical stuff and then also the DISTANT BUT APPROACHING MURKY TERROR OF THE FUTURE

Oh, and also etymology.

I'll just give a representative whole week of nights.

Monday: watching open mic comedy at the Boiler Room downtown with friends, mulling over going up with my own set.

Tuesday: working out code for my iPad projects

Wednesday: late night Aardvark sauce run

Thursday: I dunno, Karaoke at Hamburger Mary's?

Friday: round 20XX of the epic Boggle duel between me and terriblethrills, band practice

Saturday: dancing with a bunch of lesbians at Crush Bar

Sunday: (fictionally) getting a mani-pedi and using magical powers to find a pen in a game of Shadowrun with my gaming group

throw in a splash of wine and whisky, a wisp of pot smoke, and a smattering of disruptively good sex, and that looks like a typical week of nights.

When doing quickmatch, I only hesitate a little to 4-star you based solely on looks.

* You have a jolly idea for a romp about town
* You wanna cook meat with me (or vegetables if you aren't into meat)
* You wanna jam on instruments neither of us are good at
* You have a Nintendo and some wine
* You are a formidable Boggle player

Important: I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now, and certainly not a monogamous relationship. That doesn't necessarily mean I just wanna get freakish with you - simply hanging with fun peep-popes is on the docket.