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30 Asheville, NC Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 24–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Trying to quit
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, Spanish (Poorly), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Disclaimer: Any portion of this may or may not have been written while drunk/passive aggressive.

I'm happiest with someone who makes me laugh and who I can bring to giggling tears.

I was trained as a cocktail mixologist for a year and a half, so I can make a tasty drink, but I'm only a bit of a snob about it.

I am so flippin' cuddly.

I've got an artistic streak: painting, crochet, pottery, writing, and various unfinished DIY projects.

I also appreciate someone with practical, handy knowledge - plumbing, carpentry, fire-building, mechanical, electrical. And has the patience to teach me.
And gardening! Can you garden? Then I might love you.

I love being elbow-deep in dirt with the promise of a shower afterwards.

I'm normally pretty gregarious, but get a bit shy with this internet dating nonsense. If I've visited your profile 5 or 6 times, it's a good sign. Or you have a picture of an adorable puppy/kitten I can't resist.

I love comic books and animals and movies and pasta and adventures and mountains. Please take me on all the nature walks, I spend too much time indoors.

I like a good beard, a sense of humor, sweet dance moves, warm hands, a bright smile, a fantastic brain, and a good man attached to all of the above.

Those all started with "I." How mundane.

Also, what I say on here isn't going to make that much of a difference. So youtube videos it is!

The Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody

ps. If you want to know more about me, check out the questions section. It'd probably do to look anyway, since I've noticed the the site will frequently flag questions answered as incompatible, even though we put down the same answer.

Also, if you're not down with cuddles, smooches, hugs, head massages, regular massages, hand-holding, brushes of the arm, my hands in your hair all the time, or ridiculous noises when I'm content, you can go fuck off. And luscious hair is a requirement.

Please don't clog my inbox with messages that just say "Hi" or "How are you." If you aren't willing to put in a little effort, neither am I.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Pride and Prejudice: Offending Lady Catherine

Update: A short play I wrote has been performed as a part of Brief Encounters, wooooooooooooo! Who's got two thumbs and is officially a paid writer? This guy!

Update Update: Am one of the writers on The 30th Annual Bernstein Family Christmas Spectacular, which is the best Christmas show in Asheville this year. Hot stuff.

Update Cubed: Re-learning how to cook for myself. BALLS.

Update Beyond Thunderdome: Was a writer for The 31st Annual Bernstein Family Christmas Spectacular, and lo it was good.

Update and the Deathly Hallows: Are you assholes ready for the next Bernstein? No, no you're not. Keep an eye on your socks if you are particularly attached to the pattern.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Everything is Terrible: So Your Cat Wants a Massage? (in all seriousness, my massages are magical: I have strong hands the size of ping pong paddles and sexy anatomical knowledge of the human musculature)

Willow: You're All Pigs (Witchcraft bacon!)

Man Cold (Poor Little Bunny) (There is no one you'd rather have nursing you back to health)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Clue: Flames on the side of my face (Madeline Kahn was perfection)
Kids in the Hall - Sizzler Sisters (Something about rolling "r's" in "PRRRRRRRICK!")
My rabbits don't live in the bread box (If you don't watch Wallace and Gromit movies and go "awwwwww!" at some point, you might need to reassess your priorities in life)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Agatha Christie's Poirot, Harry Potter, Terry Pratchett and the Song of Ice and Fire books (which I always call Game of Thrones). I keep my own tiny library, but woe, have little energy and time to read anymore.

Important notation: If you're the kind of person who venerates "Atlas Shrugged," you best keep stepping.

Current comics: Saga, Rat Queens, Chew, Stuff of Legend, Hellboy, Hellblazer, Batwoman.

Current Webcomics: Questionable Content, Girls with Slingshots, Curvy, Oglaf, Bad Machinery.

100 Greatest Movie Insults

Archer, Bob's Burgers, Derek, Sherlock, Orange is the New Black, Drunk History, Key and Peele, Deadbeat, Once Upon a Time, The Hot Wives of Orlando (it's a spoof!), The Mindy Project, American Horror Story, Shameless, original The Office, Game of Thrones, Doctor Who, Community, Bridezillas (don't judge). I have an extensive MST3K vhs collection.

The Dismemberment Plan - Time Bomb
OK Go - This Too Shall Pass
Tom Waits - Sea of Love
The Replacements - Unsatisfied
The Outfield - Your Love

Mouse Hunt
I, uh...I like cheese.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Kyle Kinane: Believe in Yourself

Kids in the Hall - Sex Girl Patrol

Heathers, pretty much always

Also, why does no one else like horror movies? If they're bad, they're hilarious. If they're good, terrified cuddles and comfort makeouts.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Dinner for Schmucks - Dinner Scene
Queen - I Want to Break Free
Cocktail - The World's Last Barman Poet

Falling down a superhero wikihole.

Also, I watch the sports sometimes. It'd be cool to hang with a dude that likes sports but isn't a dick about it. Do you like hockey? Because I'd really like to get into hockey.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The Losers - Don't Stop Believing

Addendum: I have the most adorable bedhead.

After-credits Easter Egg: I don't like ginger and I'm not huge on pancakes (I'm a waffle gal).
You should message me if
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