32 Seattle, WA
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Hi, this is my first sentence about me, and 80% of you have already left for the the block button. For those still here, I give two truths and one lie:

I was a professional wrestler
I lived in Japan
I have legitimately beaten the NES version of Battletoads

First of all, NO! I will not help you cheat on your boyfriend/husband/girlfriend (yes, I have gotten that last one). Cheating is not cool and if you're going to cheat, yet stay with whoever is prompting you to cheat, the kind of help you need, I cannot give. Try a licensed therapist.

I'll be serious now: I work in a startup and spend my free time playing old school video games, lifting weights (or doing the latest insanity workout), and trying to get my book published.

The book is young adult, it was nominated for an award a couple years ago and deals with a kid killing God along with battling evil Jesus clones. I say that because while I'm not anti-religious, if you look for a partner with similar religious views as you, I really don't have any. Last thing I want to do is piss anyone off.

I don't really know what I want, or what I'm looking for, and when i do go looking for it, I'm typically disappointed. Right now, if you're a cool chick, who isn't in a bubble, likes decent conversations and can hold your own in Mario Kart--I want a drink with you. Let's see how many drinks that turns into.

If you suck...well, message me anyways. I always like varying personalities. In fact, I'm drawn to opposites.
What I’m doing with my life
I think I'm at that point where I stop and say "Just where the hell am I going?"

My dream is to be an author, my job that pays is 'alright'.I'm not saying I'm not stable (I have no debt and I live all alone), I'm just saying I've reached that point where I look at my life and wonder what have I been doing and where do I want to go. It's nothing weird of psychotic, just a different state of mind.

Regarding my book, I probably should have wrote something else, but I'm stubborn. It's been a finalist in prestigious contests, but since it has religious overtones (evil Jesus clones and a plot where they 'kill God') no one really wants to take a chance on it. Go figure.

For money, I work at a startup in the wedding industry. That's really all I can say on that subject. I also write for a high profile sports site on the 49ers, but since I don't want this getting back to them I'm not going to just blast that out here.
I’m really good at
I can take a stick of butter and a stick of "I cannot believe it's not butter" Butter, close my eyes, sample each piece and identify each one. I was given this power by aliens after I pissed them by refusing an anal probe. They figured this would be more of a curse, as I would desire fattening, saturated real butter and could not be satisfied with the fake crap. I have learned to move on, but this, like card tricks, comes in handy.
The first things people usually notice about me
Besides my eyes and a voice that's a cross between a chain smoker and a kid halfway through puberty.

I've also been called a badass on more than one occasion. I was asked how I could be a badass and I didn't really have an answer. But I do know 5 potential reasons someone, including myself, COULD be a badass. Not me, just saying anyone could be:

1:I haven't been in many street fights.

If you have, you're probably still in middle school. Most badasses fight, but they aren't someone who enjoys just being in fights. Besides, you're more likely to forget someone you slept with than someone you fought. Which is only one of the reasons I like to end sex with an elbow drop.

2: I Have Trained in Martial Arts That Require No Explanation

If a guy needs to explain his fighting style, he's not a badass.

3: I Know Fight Secrets Everyone Knows

Less is more for badasses. They do what everyone else does, but it works for them.

4: I Don't Argue That This MMA Crap Is Just a "Sport"

It's two guys who want to beat the shit out of each other for everyone's amusement. They are gladiators. If you told a gladiator he was gladiating for sport, he'd chop your scrotum off and eat it before killing his opponent.

5: I Don't Tell You About All the Fights I've Won

"You know what's cool? That day I put a dude in the hospital and gave him brain damage. He'll never walk again. Shows him not to fuck with me."

Anyone who says they kicked someone's ass could potentially be telling that story. And they suck.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite movie is Casino.

Favorite book is Dracula, reading Pillars of the Earth right now.

Food: Italian.

TV: Watching the Sopranos at the moment.
The six things I could never do without
There's one: Someone who I can stand who understands me.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why has it come to this: Internet dating?
On a typical Friday night I am
I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing but I'm sure the night will involve booze, handcuffs, black eyes and lots of questions to what the hell we did on Saturday morning.

And yes, I'm a perfect saint. It's all going to be your fault. It's not my fault, I'm can't prove jack shit. My law team is custom made by the Juggernaut.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I read Twilight
You should message me if
You don't mind the fact I like the San Francisco 49ers.

You have nerves of steel.

You think you can actually hold your own in Mario Kart.