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31 Seattle, WA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 6:14pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Japanese (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a writer (or rather, I'm trying to be). My book that I'm trying to publish is about killing God and other religious conspiracies. It's placed in contests...just no one wants to publish it, yet.

Let's talk books. Or old school video games. Or this site.

In fact, in my return to OKcupid I have come to two unalienated and concrete facts:

1: Writing anything about me is lame.

2: This site is a large, glass showcase, packaged by the pound, stocked of prime, select, and utility grade,smelling of rawness, meat market.

Good lord, this site is a goddamn meat market of epic fucking proportions. All this time I'm supposed to feel ashamed of hitting on girls in cyberspace while wearing nothing but my underwear and getting arroused by some of the suggestive photos (sorry, but I'm only human), but the messages some people are sending (along with the creepy shit that follows). I wonder if I'd be more embarrassed to be in a woman's shoes--and they are fully clothed getting this!

Taking this meat market realization, it would be FOOLISH for me to even think of spending more time on your profile than necessary to A: see if you are attractive (to me) and B: see if our personalities mesh (I actually like people with different interests because it then makes my life become varied as I am a simple man).

So about me: I'm Pretty simple, actually. I'm a homebody. I'm an oldschool, video game playing, tv watching, Forty-fucking-Niners LOVING guy who still hasn't lost site of his dreams.

Now that I've hit 31, I realize my time to bang hot chicks is limited. The window is slowly shutting on me dating girls in their 20s.

And that's fine.

On the outside I look like a very loud, obnoxious person, but I'm actually quite shielded and keep my true feelings to myself until someone is lucky enough for me to reveal them (or I'm drunk enough to give juicy tidbits you can blackmail me for).

I'm being adventurous with girls. I know what I DON'T want to marry, and I know who I'd like to spend time with just to get to know this type of person/personality. As I look around here, I think of both.

The best way to identify me is ass a smart-ass shit starter who is also a certified ninja.

Here's proof of my ninja skills:

So if you want to spend a day bar hopping Wallingford, but can have just as much fun as throwing down in Mario Kart. Let's get it on!

My lady friends call me the Angry Teddy Bear....
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
There are two things that take up my time: working at Amazon as a risk investigator (I get a hammer and patrol the site for bad shit, then use my hammer to ban) and writing books (see why I'm a homebody?).

My dream is to be a published author. Not doing too bad with it either. My novel, Judgment was nominated in a contest a year ago out of a few hundred young adult novels and was praised as one of "the most original ideas in years". I've worked on it for 5 years. The storyline has been in my head since I was living in Japan (thanks to me playing a game called Xenogears--ask me about it). Will it be published? Well fuck yes! Since everyone loves it, I promised a very close friend I'd self pub it if the publishing industry still hates me.

What's Judgment about? Killing God, angry Jesus clones, Christian conspiracies. Marketed towards a teenage audience. Yes, it's pretty fucking epic and awesome.

And yes, if you want to read it, I may let you.

Besides Judgment (which completed and out on submission)I'm currently doing a novel called "The Last Year" which is about a 30 year old man that graduated college and now waits tables due to our society's negligence on college education. It's actually pretty funny. It's just all the dumb stuff I did in my 20s.

Will I be published traditionally? Who knows. That is an even bigger numbers game than this, so I may never know

So recently, I've been doing Insanity. You know those infomercial workouts with some dude named Shawn T (I can't take him seriously either)?

Say what you want about...uh...Shawn T, but that shit fucks you up. Everyday I'm in a pool of sweat. Oh, and I'm lifting weights four days a week along with this 6 days a week of cardio. It's a fucking nightmare.

And I still can't get rid of the last of my belly fat because I like beer so much.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Oh God, where do I begin?

I don't take things immediatly. It takes a lot to learn, but once I master it, I my ceiling is limitless.

So what do I pride myself being good at? Well writing...even though I don't get paid for it (yet). My work actually has appeared in GamesRadar (video game stuff most of you could care less about), and PC Gamer. I've also done some 49ers articles for SB Nation.

Outside of writing, my Mario Kart skills aren't too shabby. I can also eat a stick of butter and have some "I Can't Believe it's Not Butter" butter and tell the difference.

I'm a great cook, and yes, I can make you food--if I like you. I'm from Boise Idaho and possess the hick gene- I know how to cook a steak, fish, and clean a fish, even though I never have done the last two, and the first one no one bothered teaching me.

(Note, I am more a city boy, never been a hick, but living in Idaho plants the gene).

I once was good at golf. Once upon a time. But then life happened and I realized the bucket of balls I bought to practice was a meal--so I slowly fell out of the game. I play maybe two or three times a year now (during the traditional family vacation), and I don't want to play more unless I can dedicate my time to it fully. I'm competitive, and I HATE losing.

I'm great at fantasy football as well. Though my team this year decided to under perform. FUCK YOU JORDY NELSON!!!!!!

I love to read. I usually plow through a book in a week or two. I love everything from Non Fiction to Fiction. I identify as a fantasy writer, but I can't really read much fantasy on my own. At least hard fantasy. Stuff like Harry Potter was awesome.

I work out a lot. Working out is pretty important to me as is dieting. I love a good beer, but I drink very seldom cuz for some reason God was pissed at my family and decided to make me have a low metabolism.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My voice I have the voice that is a cross between a kid halfway through puberty and a chain smoker.

People are also drawn to my eyes. I dunno what it is, but everyone likes them for some reason. Yes, I use them to my full advantage like girls use their hooters.

I'm also very opinionated. Not in a bad way, I'm just not afraid to voice my opinion or concerns. Like my hatred of Soccer. Soccer is not a sport, it's a reason to riot.

Soccer sucks.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Movies: We'll just go in order:

Casino, Goodfellas, Batman (Tim Burton) Terminator 2, Shawshank Redemption, Godfather. Back to the Future Trilogy, Gremlins, Star Wars (I do not like Star Trek-fuck that noise)The Dark Knight.

If you have not seen Casino, my next question if if you saw Goodfellas, if you reply no to that-I know what our date will be. We will watch those movies and there will be light cuddling required. Seeing those are pre-reqs to dating me or kicking it with me.

Favorite Band: I listen to a lot of everything, but my main genres are metal, metalcore, punk, alternative.

AFI (if you don't like AFI we are going to have problems.) Side note: I've liked AFI since they were with Nitro and releasing speed punk I'm a fan.

Rise Against, Killswitch Engage, Haste the Day, It Dies Today, All that Remains, Atreyu, Dead Kennedys, Minor Threat, Link 80, Pennywise, Alice in Chains, Stone Temple Pilots, Smashing Pumpkins, and the list goes on.

I also have a diverse collection of video game soundtrack music that I use to sleep to on my ipod, and also write to. If you think game music is just bleeps and blops I'll put some of that on and you can change your mind.

Books: My favorite book of all time is Dracula by Bram Stoker. I read that once every two years. Currently I'm on the first book in The Game of Thrones series. This is also my last book in that series due to how hard it is to follow and the boredom it creates with me. My fantasy likes are very picky and I need some politics, some magic, and some plot. Game of Thrones just has too many characters.

I don't have a favorite besides that. I just READ. Mostly to get better at writing.

TV: The Sopranos (on season 2), Breaking Bad, The League, Law and Order SVU (Post Stabler episodes blow), Friday Night LIghts
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If it's really possible to make sugar free products without sacrificing their great initial taste.

If you even got this far into my profile before looking at my pictures.

How Square-Enix once was the shit.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing but I'm sure the night will involve booze, handcuffs, blackeyes and lots of questions to what the hell we did on Saturday morning.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I read Twilight...and watched part of the movie. The book was terrible and never should have been published. That said, Meyer has moments of brilliance in her prose, but those are moments. Had Twilight been based off the conflict int he last 100 pages (you know, when there's 300 pages of Edward's perfect face and purple prose) I would have enjoyed it...maybe.

Stephenie Meyer sucks...
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you have cool/hot piercings. I have a piercing fettish.

You don't mind the fact I like the San Francisco 49ers.

You have nerves of steel.

You think you can actually hold your own in Mario Kart.

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