Hi ! My name is John. I work as a government bureaucrat (IT guy) by day and am a graduate student in his 50's at night. I masquerade as some kind of effete member of a corps of intellectual snobs by night (bonus points if you can name whom I paraphrased just then). But seriously ladies, I am interested in the arts, literature, international affairs, foreign languages, art-films, architecture, etc., etc.

Disclaimers re: Personality Awards.
(a) I have a "kinky" award. Please don't let this scare you off. It only means I am open to experimentation, I would NEVER EVER ask a woman to do anything she doesn't want to do.
(b) I also rate "more desiring of sex." I won't deny it, but I also realize that reality often conflicts with passions and dreams and desires ... and I answered the questions based on what I'd like ... not what I actually expect to happen in real-life post-honeymoon or equivalent.
(c) "More into drugs." This means I support decriminalization of marijuana use. I do not use any illegal drugs myself.

To characterize myself I am:

Honest. But I value kindness over absolute honesty when the two conflict. White lies, told with the intention of protecting someone else's feelings, are OK with me.

Introverted. Meaning my private life is important to me, and I have to "recharge" after social gatherings. But I DO like social gatherings, rather more with a small group of close friends than big parties.

Non-uxorious. Meaning any long-term relationship into which I enter will be a relationship of teamwork and fairness. No, everything doesn't have to be exactly 50-50. If it works out that some things are 40-60 or even 20-80 that's OK as long as some other things are 60-40 and 80-20. What's important is that both partners participate in the "percentage" decisions and both are OK with those percentages. At least most of the time.

Meretricious. If you know what this word means, and have seen my photos, then you will also know that I am either

(a) hopelessly narcissistic, or

(b) even more hopelessly disconnected with reality, or

(c) have a warped sense of humor.

(C) is correct. I have an occasionally WARPED sense of humor

Labile but loyal. This means that I am a bit more-than-averagely emotional, I can have mild mood swings (NO I am not bipolar, but do have close friends and loved ones who are, and if you are (bipolar that is) I have nothing but sympathy and good wishes !

Government bureaucrat by day, graduate student by night.

Looking to meet nice woman of my dreams. Eventually would like to travel a lot, meet people from all around the world ..., and, if I can ever really master German, ...., I'd like to learn another language .... maybe Russian ?

Am working at night on a second career in German language and literature (don't even ask why I'm interested in that, I might start quoting Kafka to you). Or asking you if you are a structuralist, post-structuralist, colonialist, post-colonialist, etc. ... that is, as soon as I'm really sure I myself understand what those terms mean. (And why the hell did Roland Barthes have to be French (and therefore write his books in French))?

Pseudo-intellectual babble.

Quoting old Woody Allen movies and "All in the Family" re-runs

Gaining the affection and admiration of women too young and too old for me.

Favorite Quotes
(from "Casablanca")
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.

All In The Family
Archie Bunker: Capital punishment is a well known detergent to crime.

(from "Brave New World")
World Controller Mustapha Mond: [ quoting "Our Ford" ] History is bunk.

World Controller Mustapha Mond (again, this time paraphrasing Jesus): Suffer little children.

(from Goethe's "Faust")
Mephistopheles: Von Zeit zu Zeit seh ich den Alten gern
Und hüte mich, mit ihm zu brechen.
Es ist gar hübsch von einem grossen Herrn,
So menschlich selbst mit dem Teufel zu sprechen.

My translation:
From time to time I like to see the Old Man
And I avoid breaking off with him.
It's a right pretty thing for such a great Lord
To speak so decently, even with the Devil.

I don't really know, to be honest. Some people have told me I am young looking for my age.

But, stunning good looks or rippling muscles ? Hardly.

"Coolness" ? Not a chance. According to my teenage daughters, I am the ultimate dork / geek / nerd and ought to live out my life hiding in a cave or something, I am such an embarassment to them. (Yes they ARE kidding, they DO love and respect me, and I them .... but the point can't be ignored. I am NOT cool or hip or "in" or "popular.")

Tasteful clothing ? I hope so. I put some time and effort into picking nice-looking clothes.

People say I'm open about my feelings and not afraid to be emotional. I am not afraid to reveal very personal and intimate details of my inner (read:emotional-psychological) life at an early stage.

I love language and speak with a good vocabulary (most of the time anyway). In German I speak with what I'm told is a good vocabulary but I also often make ludicrous sounding grammatical mistakes, and/or use antiquated words, which I've picked up from reading Goethe or Schiller, but, as I've never lived in a German-speaking country, I don't know that these words are antiquated.

I am shy (though making a CONCERTED effort to overcome that).

Books:

highbrow stuff like James Joyce, Nabokov, Kafka, etc.,

but also some very low-brow stuff (like high-quality erotica ... high-quality means that the sexuality is implied and hinted at, not blasted in your face).

Also non-fiction. That's right. I love to learn about all kinds of things. From international affairs (Thomas Friedman rocks!) to dumbed-down science (Carl Sagan, science for mathematically challenged people like me who don't understand any math beyond simple algebra), and lately, to literary theory (Roland Barthes Mythologies for example), to publications like National Geographic, Scientific American, Foreign Affairs, etc. etc.

Movies: Casablanca, Play It Again Sam, Das Boot, Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Der Untergang (Bruno Ganz plays an absolutely amazing A. Hitler)

Music: classical, esp. anything by Bach or Mahler. I don't know much of what normal people listen to. I do like the Beatles, the 70's groups known as "Chicago" and "Emerson Lake and Palmer" if there is anyone old enough to remember those groups.

Food: Indian, Thai, Indonesian, Italian, French

also many other kinds of food ... really I can eat most foods except for a few humble American staples I cannot abide: canned baked beans for example; and some exotic Asian specialties such as canis domesticus, or Peruvian cavy (guinea pig -- yes they eat guinea pigs in Peru ... for my Peruvian friends, you are beautiful people and I love your country, but I will never eat these little critters).

1 and 2 (tie). My two daughters (21 and 19).
3. Good friends.
4. A good beach, with many good books, and plenty of cold beer.
5. Somebody who loves to watch sunsets, kiss passionately or sweetly at different times, and who's emotionally available (both open with their own feelings and accepting of others')
6. Opportunities to travel, learn, and experience everything.

Hmmmm ... I don't ask for much, do I?

Sex, what else ? But seriously ladies, if you like a gentle, sensitive, shy, and occasionally somewhat bawdy guy, hit me up.

Psychology: personality theories; why am I still so f****d up after so much soul-searching, so many personality and job-aptitude tests, and after having single-handedly financed several therapists' yachts ????

German culture. I'm a bit weird in this respect. Even native Germans say so, though they seem to be flattered that I'm so interested in their country and language.

Why do things work the way they do?

What happened before the Big Bang?

Does the question "What happened before the Big Bang?" have any objective meaning in our universe?

How can I get myself to eat a better diet (more vegetables and fruits, fewer carbs and calories)?

Dreaming about you, whoever you are.

YOU ARE

Witty, you have a good sense of humor

Pretty, though you yourself may not know it, or you may think that was a long time ago, not now... Let ME be the judge of that, OK ? If I say you are pretty, you are pretty !

Litty, that is, literary, or artistic, or involved in some aesthetic pursuit, either as a profession or as a hobby.

Not nit-picky, at least not in most things

Tolerant of nerdy exhibitionistic (NOT in a sexual sense) dilletantish pseudo-intellectuals. Even better if you also fit that description. But that's not a requirement. You just have to be able to stand me that's all LOL.

Liberal in the original sense of the word, meaning open-minded, able to consider viewpoints other than your own as being valid. You do not necessarily have to be "politically to the left" though that is also a plus.

Personality type: If you like Myers-Briggs, I am INFP ... though one test told me I was INFP with a high S sub-component, so I'd get along well with both N and S types.

Supposedly my "ideal match" is ENFJ or ENTJ ... my perfect match's extroversion balancing out my introversion, and my semi-flakiness (the "P") balanced out by my perfect match's "J"-Judgmental component.

If you know the "OCEAN" model, also known as the "Big 5" model, I am:
O--openmindedness: HIGH
C--conscientiousness: AVERAGE
E--extroversion: LOW
A--agreeablity: VERY HIGH
N--neurosis: ABOVE AVERAGE (ok so nobody's perfect!)

Again, the best match would interlock my personality traits .... the best match according to this theory would be high in extroversion and low in neurosis.

My high "agreeability" and "open-mindedness" are double-edged swords. My psych tests say I'd be a great counselor or priest but a terrible policeman or trial attorney (both of those require a high degree of toughness and a bit of hard-nosed approach, which translate to low "agreeability" and "open-mindedness").

I will answer any question you ask, on any subject whatsoever, straightforwardly and honestly, even if it is not flattering to me, but you'll have to message me to ask it.

If you're in your late thirties to late fifties, not too politically conservative; if you can tolerate a non-smoking vegetarian (the last few words were a paraphrase from film, and if you have any idea what film that is, you must be a rabid germanophile like myself) and if you want to experience whatever life has to offer ... hit me up.

Editors

• fishtez