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27 Alexandria, VA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20–27
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 7:50pm
5′ 11″ (1.81m)
Body Type
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English, Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a licensed private investigator during the "day" and one half of a certain legendary rock duo at "night." Yes, I do stakeouts and tail people nearly every day. Yes, I have a badge, however I feel I should state for the record that I am not a cop and don't carry a firearm. I decided not to pursue a career in law enforcement because the cards are already stacked horribly and unfairly in my favor as a white man with a badge. I don't want to join a poisonous, racist system where they give you a killing tool and say "this is what the bad people look like." The American justice system is excrement.

On a more cheerful note; I have a cat named Ms. Moneypenny who I sometimes take on cases. My job keeps me busy and can be a bit tedious, but also gives me tons of interesting stories which I am more than happy to share.

When I have free time from the day job (which is not often enough), I sing, write songs, and play bass and other instruments in my band called Catscan! We have a growing following in the local indie/rock/punk/electronic scene (despite not really fitting snuggly into any of those genres) so you may or may not have heard of us.


When not doing either of those things I delve (to varying degrees) into every other kind of artistic pursuit imaginable when I can and/or when I'm inspired. I also like movies, naturey stuff (i.e. hiking, camping, fishing, archery, etc.,) video games, photography, reading, writing, boxing (bag, not faces), thrift stores, social drinking. I run sometimes, but I can't say I enjoy it much.

ISFJ (that's the one you want)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
This is referring to my future plans? I know I want to go on holiday somewhere amazing like Greece (I have family in Cyprus and Athens,) Australia/New Zealand, or Japan as soon as I can afford it. I'd like to eventually quit my day job and do music full time, but the chances of making a living like that are slim. I assume I'll probably get married at some point, have kids, and die... roughly in that order.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm a damn good bassist and a darn good singer. I can't dance for shit, but I will at weddings, when hammered, or both.

Other incredible skills:

-Nearly flawless sense of direction
-Cat whispering
- Growing facial hair
-Fake New Zealand accent
-Brock Samson (Patrick Warburton) impression
- Attracting wild animals to me like a rugged, male Cinderella
-Super Intuition and when that fails, Super Logic/Problem Solving
-Safety Consciousness
-Hummingbird Fingers (bass player)
-Purdy Eyes
-Deer Spotting (DEER!!!)
-Parent Charming
- Cookin' (especially chili and seafood)
-Hitting that high note in Take On Me
-Strong Code o' Ethics
- Other things

Things I lack:

-skill/knowledge in most sports
- large amounts of excess funds
-"summer styles"
- That coveted final 72nd inch of height. (Thanks mom and dad.)
- consistently reliable weekend schedule
-20/20 vision (I wear glasses nearly all of the time. Deal.)
-"Hollywood Standard" looks. I'd be cast as the good guy best friend turned bad guy who redeems himself at the end of the movie by giving his life. Basically a Sean Bean-type.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been told I look like someone from the past who accidentally wandered into a time machine and ended up in the future.

Also my Greekness.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: They Might Be Giants, Gorillaz, The Aquabats, Duke Ellington, Radiohead, REM, Talking Heads, Ween, A-ha, Ratatat, Ima Robot, Frank Sinatra, Little Dragon, Chromeo, Hot Chip, Blink 182, the Flaming Lips, Foster the People, The Knife, Smiletron, Coda, DEVO, Poshi Taikuza, GLC, Buckethead, The Pixies, Glukoza, The Electric Grandmother, Gustav Holst, No Doubt, Mono Puff, John Williams, Jack Wall, Jeremy Soule, Howard Shore, Enya, Bowie, Crunk Witch, Les Claypool, that's the tip of the iceberg.

Authors: Douglas Adams, J.R.R. Tolkien, Junot Diaz, Ian Fleming, James Ellroy, Homer, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Denise Devries (That's my mom. She's an author,) and others.

I hate Bukowski. Seriously, fuck off Bukowski.

TV Shows: It's Always Sunny, IT Crowd, Peep Show, Seinfeld, Star Trek OS and TNG, The Venture Bros., any Tim and Eric project, the original Iron Chef, Extras, The Wire, Mad Men, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Breaking Bad, South Park, Metalocalypse, Adventure Time, Game of Thrones, etc.

Movies: LoTR, Star Wars (pre-CG), Blues Brothers, most Noir films, Bond Films, The Fifth Element, Dumb and Dumber, A Bridge too Far, A Goofy Movie, The Room, Danger: Diabolik, Jackie Chan movies, Indiana Jones, The Big Lebowski, Casablanca, Bladerunner, Fantastic Planet, It's A Wonderful Life.

And Pupusas.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
No. That's not going to tell you anything about me. Here are six things I'd prefer never to do without.

1. Golden Oolong Tea
2. the subtle aura of mystery one gets when one carries a black briefcase (especially if it's full of cool PI gadgets)
3. the farfisa compact organ (instrument)
4. long-term olfactory memory
5. my severe nothing allergy
6. the fact that one can still buy classic coke in glass bottles
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
New songs, my level of sleepiness, work, women, occasionally the past, all that subconscious shit, women, society, food, feminism (and if I'm doing my part), how I'm going to fix the DeLorean and get back to my own time, am I being followed?, robots, what I forgot to do today, cats, squirrels, what was this a list of?

More creatures use light to communicate (bioluminescence) than all forms of sound put together. This includes the vast array of human languages.

I spend a lot of time contemplating the strange fact that, for one of my jobs I want to be seen by as many people as possible and for the other, as few.

Life, the universe, and everything.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Basically anything that's not a club or bowling. Hate bowling. I play a lot of shows on Friday nights so you may find me on stage at one of the many DC rock dives we frequent.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've gotten into an unbreakable habit of saying "howdy" to complete strangers. It's my dad's fault, he's a Texan and it's something he does.

There was that time I was bitten by a wallaby when I was in Australia. Still waiting for the super powers to kick in.

I met Olivia Wilde a couple years ago at an Inaugural Ball. I embarrassed both of us when I said I hadn't seen anything she's been in. She was very kind to me though.

I hate geese more than any other animal, including brain-eating parasites.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you get the book reference in my username.

If yeh ain't yella.

If you're a swell gal lookin' for a swell fella.

If you were tickled by the fact that the previous two sentences rhyme.

If you're a musician or love music.

Or you have a closet full of vintage clothes. I'd like to meet a fellow time traveler.

Or, you know if you... *gulp*... want m'bod.

Also, if you've got that Laura Dern in Jurassic Park archaeologist look about you, please message me right now (Rowrr.)