Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Edit: Just for the hell of it, try writing something in your
profile ladies, this is not tinder, its a bit more selective. Yes
the English language is difficult, but think of it as an
Oi, the dreaded self summary section, prepare to get
Anyway, yes, about me, a self summary, a credible reason for my
being here and some insight as to what this guy can do for you yes
Well its simple, im the new male prototype, you know, the new and
improved model, factory built chivalry out the nose, clearspoken
and full of win.
Theres a little twist however, yours truly is generally sick of the
nuiscansome barriers to entry (Thats a pun) in this nation.
Tired of the annoying little things like "Oh what would society
think, what would people say", moreso the stupifyingly cryptic
double standard in place on women here, if they just go with their
instict and bang a guy they find attractive personality/physical
appearance/etc wise, they are whores.
Furthermore i have a single clear reason for being on this site,
however i have the balls to state it without sugar coating it with
a makeshift veil of purity and good intent. I wants copulation i
say, give me spasming ecstatic giggling and satisfied females or
give me a shawarma i say.
What am i ? Apparently im a man thats wise beyond his years and too
bright for my own good. Overeducated, travelled enough to classify
as a nomad really, with a sporadic incurable affinity for the
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Well bored of stacking degrees, so its back to my flexible work
schedule which allows me a very comfortable lifestyle which i
almost cherish more than shawarma, and i mean, given the choice
between eternal happiness and a guaranteed spot in the VVIP section
of the afterlife (Which i envision being 24/7 gladiator fights,
only with half naked women slugging it out with soaked sponges with
constant orgies in the cheering coliseum crowd), i would go for
My life is awesome, and its all mine for the time being.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Pointing out the obvious.
Subtle constructive criticism
Bartering (I traded in a slice of pie for an ipod once, true story
i swear to raptor jesus)
Discussing theology in a highly enlightened manner.
Cunnilingus (Its an art)
Suckerpunching PETA activists, im sure i excel at it but am yet to
find a suitable person.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My lack of restraint on matters or topics i hold dear.
Im apparently the type of guy you either love or hate or love to
My razor sharp wit which is instantly nullified by any shiny object
or ondulating flesh.
My unbearable humility, no, really !
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books eh ? Used to do plenty of reading when younger, was a pro
bookworm, but who needs dead trees and pigments when you have the
Movies, quite a few, anything directed by Guy Richie for one.
Music just about anything except pop, that just irrtates me, id
rather listen to nails scratching a blackboard.
Food, creamy > Savory. Anything with a rich sauce will have me
mewling like an imbecile while i chew it. Sushi has a single
purpose in life, and that is to substitute women's clothing, makes
great lingerie too.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I never get so attached to anything that i cannot function in its
Fine ill go with my laptop, oh and Tony Danza, because the Boss is
the boss, fools.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What to think about next, and how id rather be pounding someone
instead of doing whatever it is i am doing at the time, unless that
particular activity conforms with the aforementioned preference.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Trying to manifest my thoughts into reality, while under the
influence of copious quantities of alcohol.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I got kissed by a guy once . I was plastered so i did the only
logical thing and hospitalized him. Im neither violent by nature
nor a homophobe, but the bastard didnt have the tact to drug my
drink at least, some people i swear..
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You feel sudden spats of horniness and feel frustrated at the lack
of instant gratification options, and the repressive nature of our
society that indoctrinates women with bullshit about sex being
sacred union between blah blah blah blah coupled with other
misconceptions about it.
You, as I, view intercourse as a sport. Its a great workout,
expunges the body's toxins, releases endorphines, relieves stress,
and is truckloads of fun.
Are feeling kind of glum or exasperated at the lack of good guys
out there who genuinely just want to wine you, dine you, make you
squeal in delight then enter your name into a little black book for
further booty calls.
Want to applaud me on an amusing profile or call me a chauvanistic
asshole, then conclude the message with a question as you wish to
sate your curiosity.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.