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Gilgasmash

27 F Washington, DC

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:30am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Education
Income
$60,000–$70,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Clearly you have stumbled upon this page looking for a lady who will snuggle close, lean in, and whisper, tenderly and lowly- "I'm Batman." If not, what the hell man, scroll down, look at the other interesting girls that pop up, and pick one even less likely to be Batman. I ain't even mad. Can't respect a man who disapproves of some rich white crazy dude in fetish gear beating on punks while yelling about how he's the night. Also can't respect a man who dislikes cuddles.

Anyhow, generally speaking, I enjoy kicking ass, taking names, and doodling on paper plates with pizza grease, much to the disgust of my fellow diners. I often tell stories as icebreakers, usually highlighting the foibles of my existence- I can't wrap a burrito to save my life, lived in an attic nicknamed The Widowmaker by friends, and once shimmied up what might have been the only tree in Reykjavik to get a good view of a Tom Selleck impersonation competition going on over the fence. And yes, if you've looked at my pictures (let's be honest, who doesn't go to pictures first?), I do often get dressed with the lights off. It makes for some interesting color combinations.

I'm trying to get better about biking in the city (still not great with directions if I'm off the grid), I enjoy weight lifting when I have enough free time for it, and I like swearing with aplomb. I also enjoy working words like aplomb into sentences, because I get to use such words so rarely in day to day speech.

I intensely care about a lot of things (see below), but when the topic turns to politics I'm mentally shredding a tidal wave of rum on a surfboard made of I don't care. And yes, I know I'm in the wrong city for that, but seriously- nobody's even been caned in the Senate since the 1850s, a little more shenanigans on the floor would be greatly appreciated.
What I’m doing with my life
I currently work a 9ish-5ish up at UMD, and the basic description of my job is organizing schedules so researchers don't all try to use the same equipment at the same time, and maintaining a varied bunch of neurocognitive testing equipment. In short, my job is to keep the shit and the fan far apart. It's a solid job, my coworkers rock, I'm mostly my own boss, and I get tuition remission so I can take classes at the same time- all in all, I'm a pretty happy camper. My non-work habits include doodling and reading all the things, and being the roommate who never wears pants until it frosts outside. As for what I might do next, I'm trying to figure that part out, but not in too much of a rush.
I’m really good at
Humility, duh. Caramelizing onions. Eating caramelized onions. Budget advice (oh god I am an adult what is even happening get an IRA with Vanguard and make sure to max out your retirement match and oh my god, self, shut up). Finding the awesome things in thrift stores- orange velvet wingback chairs? Check. Antique globe that opens into a bar? Check. Finding the best/worst paintings and adding monsters to the background? Also check (though I only really paint over prints, because I feel bad about ruining something someone worked hard on... unless it's really bad to start out).

I draw, but I'd say I'm 'better than average' more than 'legitimately good'. That's why I practice! If you draw too, that's a huge bonus!
The first things people usually notice about me
From asking my friends, it would have to be my sharp wit and sense of humor, which is, on occasion, "borderline evil." I think caustic might be a more accurate, but less fun description. I've also been told I'm very forward and direct, so you're gonna be out of luck if you like talking around subjects.

My hair is pretty fucking fabulous when it's not fighting the summer humidity. When it is doing the humid poof, I kind of look like a lion, so I guess that means it always looks fucking fabulous. You win some, you win some.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Dracula (seriously, it's held up very well), Catch-22, Essex County, Asterios Polyp, The Portable Dorothy Parker, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, King City, Never Let Me Go, anything by Lucy Knisley or Jack Horner. My roommates tease my book addiction, but I've started cutting back since having a nightmare that my bookshelves all collapsed... and the real ones are getting a bit curvy from the weight...

Webcomics: Octopus Pie, Hark A Vagrant, Dresden Codak, Johnny Wander, and while it's not accessible online anymore, Liz Prince's Alone Forever is amazing.

Movies: The Iron Giant, Hot Fuzz, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Coraline. I have a large soft spot for Tarantino and Studio Ghibli films. I'm a total sucker for animation, and sometimes watch parts in slo-mo to catch smears and multiples, because it's impressive to see how motion blurs get mimicked in drawings. They even managed claymation smears in Paranorman!

Shows: I don't have cable, but I do my best to keep up with Adventure Time, and I do know I need to sit down and marathon both Community and Parks and Rec at some point.

Music: Lately, I've been listening to a lot of Fleet Foxes, Fang Island, Dry the River, The Mountain Goats, Sex Bob-Omb, Spın̈al Tap, Mother Mother, and Yeasayer. I don't trust people who dislike Phil Collins.
Current jams:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO-zSxWRSVI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYvXp7_9GPE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHIOasVuYc0

Food: I don't eat meat often (least successful vegetarian, ever), and yet I have still been compared to Ron Swanson a few times regards to my love of food. I am legitimately proud of this. I fucking love food, everything from haggis to easy mac. Bananas and durian can rot in hell, though. Never again.
The six things I could never do without
1. Dihydrogen monoxide
2. Hops, yeast, barley (in addition to #1)
3. Internet (... it's true)
4. Opposable thumbs
5. Posable thumbs
6. Indoor plumbing (barring camping trips, but I'll be damned if a cool shower on a hot day isn't the best fucking thing, especially if it's a beer shower)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Tiny houses, how I should be drawing instead of procrastinating, and comic books/graphic novels. I'm currently working out the thumbnails for a graphic novel (...novella?), which is a bit scary because, at most, I've drawn multiple post-it comics for friends. But, hey, it's a good challenge in a field I like- most of the books I read these days are, at the very least, illustrated. I just really love books and art, so combining the two of them is just a match made perfect.
On a typical Friday night I am
Decompressing- usually after a week of work all I'm in the mood to do is relax! This leads to either happy hours, chilling with friends, or just saying fuck it and kicking back with a good book and a pot of tea.
Saturdays tend to be more energetic, but I'm a low-key introvert, and kicking back with a cold one will win everyday over going out to dance clubs. I do make a point to see live music as regularly as possible, so if there's a band I like in the area, then I'll do my best to be there, but I'm still a homebody and I like it that way.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I know more about Batman than is probably healthy, and I can't stand Grant Morrison's writing. In that last sentence, I probably made someone fall in love and then immediately grow to hate me (this is the internet, after all). To that person, I say: Only good thing he ever did was give Batman of Zur-en-Arrh an actual bat to wield, because I like a good visual pun.

And I collect commissioned dinosaur art, but hey, if you don't think custom dinosaur paintings are the shit, we got problems.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 25–32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You've made it this far! You probably figured out by now that the reason this thing reads like a damn novel is to weed out the dudes who think reading is a terrible chore. But, since you've passed that basic hurdle, you should message me if you feel we have something in common, or that we'd get along. I'm pretty friendly- if you at least write something that's a conversation starter, and isn't just 'hello' or clearly a form letter then you're already doing okay.

I am a total sucker for men with their own interests and hobbies (matching too much is like dating yourself, but there should be a solid central sliver on the me-vs-you ven diagram), as well as men with impeccable grammar. In addition, I quite like a nice pair of glasses, but that's just icing. On a personal level, I find dating around to be exhausting, so if the idea of a relationship is your personal hell, we're not looking for the same things! So, if you're still game, go ahead and message if you want a girl with a mind like a diamond, who is fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack, but please keep in mind I have a pretty solid WMATA or nothin' view of things, since my current ride is a bicycle. :v