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25 Perth, Australia Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–60
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:25am
4′ 10″ (1.48m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from two-year college
Seeing Someone
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
key points:
- i'm interested in platonic chats and time-permitting meet-up(s) among individuals who enjoy a penchant for delving into the possibilities/realities of what it can mean to be human - the good, bad and gloriously mundane. what is life with truth, fulfilment and empowerment?

life and being self-employed have led me to be somewhat of a recluse. however, i'm much more likely to be shy among close friends than strangers, and am comfy venturing out with my fiance or simply by myself.

- seeing Jake monogamously, happy to make new friends (to describe my relationship with him, he's someone i respect, admire and love -- not necessarily even as a partner or best friend. if he were a complete stranger and i knew the things i know about him, i would still think "wow, i'm really happy that this person exists". i love potatoes and i love him more than potatoes. because that is how a kat-blob do... zefrank, anyone?)

- particularly passionate about ("optimal") personal/interpersonal and childhood development. very happily self-employed in private child care/education (mostly with 1-6 year olds, with some exposure to 7-12 range). considering becoming a child psychologist/family counsellor or taking some sort of advocacy role over the next 10-20 years.

^no really, the previous two points summarise my calling, and if i were left on my own, they would probably take up 70-85% of my life.

if you have specific questions about children, i will most probably give as useful and thought-out a response as i can, possibly with relevant links. golly, aren't i a friendly, helpful nugget.

- i'm a fairly open book, as i believe this is necessary for forming any meaningful connection. while i may not always give the desired answer/response, i will always value curiosity, questioning and innovative thinking. i am also told i am a strange and/or funny girl. who knows.

that is all, though the rest of my profile may or may not be useful in getting to know me. it's been a work in progress since 2007 :)

/key points

------remnants of old profile below----------

i have a particular appreciation for clear, consistent, insightful expressions of love/care/delight/personal growth/etc.

I am passionate, idealistic and steadfastly realistic about the nature and optimal development of humanity. I am also constantly in awe of the huge range of quality within human experience/perspective/interaction/existence (and how EVERY point on the spectrum can seem 'normal' or 'acceptable' - probably a testament to the malleability and resilience(?) of the human mind more than anything, imo. Not necessarily good or bad).

Such musings have been inspiration to work in (private) child care, carefully helping to build the foundation for people's social, emotional and psychological life. I enjoy interacting closely with parents as well! :D

I aim to nurture and protect resilience, curiosity, initiative, creativity, discernment, wholeness, personal wisdom and deep, genuine understanding/insight. I like seeing that spark in people's eyes, especially when working with children.

Regarding my favourite age group, well, what I do is basically all the same, but tailored to each stage of development (...including adulthood). I mean, it's great when kids can form coherent sentences and talk about things, but the challenging/engaging thing for me is picking up and responding appropriately to what's unsaid, figuring out which pieces of knowledge they need for things to actually make sense/'feel ok', and helping them to accept/work with reality. I mostly deal with 1-5 year olds atm. They are lovely :)

I have been gaining first hand experience and building up/testing out/modifying personal theories before deciding whether to move on from general child care. Probably won't go into teaching since I'd prefer a focus on fostering quality everyday experiences/perceptions rather than academics; Youth/Family counselling and Child Psychology seem to be the main alternatives.

in contemplative moods, i like seeing others' perspectives; when, why and how people change; what stays the same (when, why, how); what's truly vital and what's not. i like understanding underlying goals and motivations, how to meet all of them most efficiently (in terms of most happiness:least unhappiness), and how everything fits together. it satisfies me to dispel unnecessary mental shackles and negative self-fulfilling prophesies.

i used to be quite fascinated by social forces; people's perceptions; the creation, maintenance and evolution of real-life characters or personae; "genuineness" and moral fibre; and fairly universal laws. i'd say that for a while i was quite desperately -- almost hysterically -- looking for answers. while there's always more learning however, i seem to have integrated enough understanding into myself to just be happy and live :)

a few favourite quotes:

“Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure” -Henri Nouwen

“Your body needs to be held and to hold, to be touched and to touch. None of these needs is to be despised, denied, or repressed. But you have to keep searching for your body's deeper need, the need for genuine love. Every time you are able to go beyond the body's superficial desires for love, you are bringing your body home and moving toward integration and unity.” -Henri Nouwen

"History, as nearly no one seems to know, is not merely something to be read. And it does not refer merely, or even principally, to the past. On the contrary, the great force of history comes from the fact that we carry it within us, are unconsciously controlled by it in many ways, and history is literally present in all that we do. It could scarcely be otherwise, since it is to history that we owe our frames of reference, our identities, and our aspirations. And it is with great pain and terror that one begins to realize this. In great pain and terror one begins to assess the history which has placed one where one is and formed one's point of view. In great pain and terror because, thereafter, one enters into battle with that historical creation, Oneself, and attempts to re-create oneself according to principles more humane and liberating: one begins the attempt to achieve a level of personal maturity and freedom which robs history of its tyrannical power, and also changes history." - James Baldwin

"Unfortunately, when you react against something that is "sinful", you will often go to the other extreme, and you can get into as much trouble as you were in before. You can jump from the frying pan into the fire, or as I often put it, throw out the baby with the bathwater.
...Since integrity is never painless, reformation is much more difficult than revolution. Whether the... movement is going to be saving or damning will come down to whether it is a movement of revolution or of reformation--whether it can motivate the people attracted to its new ideas to do the painful work and practice the discipline required not to throw the baby out with the bathwater, to integrate the best of the new with the best of the old." - M. Scott Peck

"Affirmation is a way to avoid looking at evil. It is saying, 'Well, yes, my stepfather molested me as a child, but that was just his human failing, part of his being damaged in childhood.' Forgiveness, on the other hand, requires facing evil squarely. It is saying to your stepfather: 'What you did was wrong, despite your reasons for it. You committed a crime against me. And I know that, but I still forgive you.' That is not easy by any stretch of the imagination... It requires briefs for the prosecution, and briefs for the defense, and then appeals and counterappeals, until a judgement is finally brought in... Only after a guilty verdict can there be a pardon." - Further Along the Road Less Travelled, M. Scott Peck

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." -Henri Nouwen

"Indeed, the quality of our life is determined precisely by the quality of our judgements."

"The world is not a battlefield, although occasionally it may feel like it. You are not a victim, even though it is so pleasurable to play into our neuroses."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
"If what matters in a person's existence is to accept the inevitable consciously, to taste the good and bad to the full and to make for oneself a more individual, unaccidental and inward destiny alongside one's external fate, then my life has been neither empty nor worthless. Even if, as it is decreed by the gods, fate has inexorably trod over my external existence as it does with everyone, my inner life has been of my own making. I deserve its sweetness and bitterness and accept full responsibility for it." - Hermann Hesse

apart from being completely in love with my midget friends (i.e. kids i work with), might do some form of child advocacy and counselling/psychology at some point.

Two goals:
1. To live an honest, happy, fulfilling life with as little contradiction, hypocrisy and denial as possible. Aiming for engagement and meaning during each moment, rather than happiness and peace which are byproducts and unreasonable to demand all the time. Through thick and thin, I say. If it's worth it, it's worth the effort, it's worth everything that goes into creating a shared experience of more than what it simply is by itself.
2. Greater perspective and patient collaboration expressing joyful love.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
blending practicality and philosophy. seeing and synthesizing different perspectives. having a funny sense of humour. hurr.

Sometimes I want to make puns but it just isn't happening. So I say it as if I made a pun anyway, and the awkwardness works if I really wanted to laugh. I usually only make these jokes around Jake, though, because he understands. (This trait got SO much... "more pronounced" after joking around with 4 year olds. Nothing makes sense.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
-i like positive psychology and have occasionally read articles on it (instead of defining health as simply 'a lack of symptoms of illness', it defines health as 'having symptoms of health'). one of the founders of the movement is A. H. Maslow - the guy who studied '(the process of) self-actualisation' and devised the 'hierarchy of needs'. another founder of the movement is Carl Rodgers, who revoluntionised counselling psychology with his humanistic, person-centered approach. i also like my unit readings and other child care practice updates. sometimes i read the stories of child abuse survivors. all very inspiring and applicable, and there's a lot of personal maturity in those texts.

an exceedingly excellent book is John Gottman's "The Heart of Parenting: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child." (possibly one of the wisest, most perceptive and practical texts i will read in my lifetime. the messages are stated simply, clearly and with many day-to-day examples that are easy to relate to. the concepts may easily be generalised to adult interactions - in fact, this is encouraged since it's difficult to teach kids what you don't preach. Gottman is my hero for making/compiling a pretty comprehensive science of everyday dynamics within families and couples.)

Daniel Hughes, who used to write a lot on the ins and outs of effective foster care. brilliant stuff and often counter-intuitive, particularly with regards to children with a (chronically) negative self-image. edit: he has recently expanded the application of his perspective to all children/people. "Brain-based parenting" probably trumps Gottman's "the Heart of Parenting" for me, by a very slight margin.

not huge on fiction, but occasionally authors like Jacqueline Carey, Patrick Rothfuss and David Weber will be recommended to me. and books like Ender's Game.

and food for thought for those who like personality tests:

i hardly watch movies if left on my own, but here are some movies i've enjoyed: phone booth, serenity, hannibal, reefer madness (the musical), up, How to Train Your Dragon, district 9, sorority boys, kick-ass. The Princess Bride (1987). i like hong kong made martial arts films/classics (e.g. once upon a time in china). zombieland, star dust. and some anime.

the rest don't make the cut to be listed, for reasons uncertain.

stuff. hah.


whether i'm a foodie depends a lot on my moodie. (sorry, lame, i know, but odds are i'd be up for cooking or discovering new foods)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
the vast, open possibilities. which to do next. what to cook next.

"Why does one repeatedly rise in the morning, eat, drink, and go to bed again? The child, the savage, the healthy young person does not suffer as a result of this cycle of senseless automatic activities. If a man does not think too much, he rejoices at rising in the morning, and at eating and drinking. He finds satisfaction in them and does not want them to be otherwise. But if he ceases to take things for granted, he seeks eagerly and hopefully during the course of the day for moments of real life, the radiance of which makes him rejoice and obliterate the awareness of time and all thoughts on the meaning and purpose of everything." - Hermann Hesse

people watching. i wonder about their stage in life, how they may have been as children, what molded them into who they are today, how they portray themselves to the world, and the underlying motivations/goals (both 'personal' and those which seem quite universal among people). i think about my friend, families and children (the ones i work with); how they will grow up; how they are growing; the direct impact my actions (will) have; how i can improve my interactions with them; which experiences they'd benefit most from in the near future.

sometimes i think about time and how each person can't get back the stages of their life -- particularly apparent watching babies turn into toddlers turn into preschoolers... such drastic changes. brings to the forefront how valuable it is to invest our time/energies wisely. sometimes i think about how each stage of life understands and applies wisdom differently.

ummm... i'm not sure how much the following makes me a 'boring workaholic' or a 'passionate, purposeful individual', but it and how to put it into practice have been on my mind too:

Ellen Galinsky’s “Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs” (book – 'Mind in the Making')
1) focus and self-control – emotional regulation; EQ; moral and personal development
2) perspective-taking – EQ; empathy; making social predictions; conflict resolution; problem-solving through sourcing new solutions, ideas and alternatives; growing imagination
3) making connections – understanding our world, our human experience and our possible impacts; pattern recognition; cause and effect; correlations; meaning-making
4) communicating – linguistic and body-language
5) critical thinking – the tool for empowerment through insight, wisdom and personal clarity
6) taking on challenges – resilience, will, confidence, stress management, depth creation
7) self-directed, engaged learning – precursor for creativity, joy, a sense of fulfilment, mastery

Considering entire disciplines have been established to study just one subcategory, it's very possible for a person to die at a ripe age before fully delving into this narrow section of possible knowledge. Or explode in the head while trying. Hence my meagre attempt on okcupid to find talking buddies who will entertain, analyse and derail my/our trains of thought. And just be around in companionable silence. 'Presence' is another interesting subject/experience.

Oh, the possibilities.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Happy and rejuvenated after a long day at work. <3

I Lick My Brain In Silence:
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My venture into child care was spurred by regret about my own childhood, and the childhood of my parents. Regret has spurred a lot of envy, but also determination for realistic understandings and the ability to recreate/manifest happiness, fulfilment and meaning in my life and those around me. The turning of a sense of "wrong" into an ideal, and then having the process turn into something more, something that's no longer tainted by regret, something that's beautiful and whole and lovable in and of itself -- that's why I stay, and will probably continue to for the rest of my life.

(COoA says (10:25 AM):
your okc profile [and journal are] not a travel guide... [they're] a journal... you can follow it chronologically
and see progress
COoA says (10:26 AM):
because you are working to change yourself as well as your environment)

"For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. That is why young people, who are beginners in everything, are not yet capable of love: it is something they must learn. With their whole being, with all their forces, gathered around their solitary, anxious, upward-beating heart, they must learn to love. But learning-time is always a long, secluded time, and therefore loving, for a long time ahead and far on into life, is: solitude, a heightened and deepened kind of aloneness for the person who loves. Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person (for what would a union be of two people who are unclarified, unfinished, and still incoherent?), it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become world, to become world in himself for the sake of another person; it is a great, demanding claim on him, something that chooses him and calls him to vast distances. Only in this sense, as the task of working on themselves ("to hearken and to hammer day and night"), may young people use the love that is given to them. Merging and surrendering and every kind of communion is not for them (who must still, for a long, long time, save and gather themselves); it is the ultimate, is perhaps that for which human lives are as yet barely large enough."

"...Of course, you must know that every letter of yours will always give me pleasure, and you must be indulgent with the answer, which will perhaps often leave you empty-handed; for ultimately, and precisely in the deepest and most important matters, we are unspeakably alone [as in, our capacity to think, understand and make our final decisions]; and many things must happen, many things must go right, a whole constellation of events must be fulfilled, for one human being to successfully advise or help another."
-Letters to a Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke

On a less serious note, perhaps to balance the rest of my profile, derpy confession ahoy: At night I am still, on very rare occasions, prone to yelping when nearly falling into the toilet. Because I am small and sometimes the seat is left up. I am glad I am bigger now, because when I was 10 I had a much ruder, colder awakening (only the once, thankfully). Everyone got a fright.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you think we'll enjoy our time together

(ftr, i don't think i reply that selectively. but if i don't within 3-5 days, either your message was particularly uninteresting, i was particularly lazy, or something quite new and exciting has happened. feel free to message again for an explanation though.)