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GingerSpices

23 / M / Bisexual / Seeing someone

Perth, Australia

His Details

Last Online
Today – 12:29am
Ethnicity
Asian
Height
4′ 10″ (1.48m).
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism and laughing about it
Sign
Gemini and it’s fun to think about
Education
Dropped out of college/university
Job
Education / Academia
Income
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Chinese (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
key points:
- seeing Jake/shinseki monogamously, but happy to make new friends
(Jake is awesome, he is giving me a POTATO-THEMED engagement ring of sorts, i love potatoes and i love him more than potatoes).

- yay, practical philosophical discussion! particularly passionate about ("optimal") personal/interpersonal and childhood development

- very happily self-employed in private child care/education (mostly with 1-6 year olds, with some exposure to 7-10 range). considering becoming a child psychologist/family counsellor or taking some sort of advocacy role over the next 10-20 years.

^no really, the previous two points summarise my calling, and if i were left on my own, they would probably take up 70-85% of my life. other than these, i mostly enjoy argentine tango and all the games/movies/anime jake brings into my days

- pics are kinda outdated; i finally have long hair, woohoo!! :D

- i'm a fairly open book, as i believe this is necessary for forming any meaningful connection. while i may not always give the desired answer/response, i will always value curiosity, questioning and innovative thinking.

"you should message me if"
you enjoy sharing ideas, reflections and possibly amazingly delicious and/or addictive food. i like ice cream? and frozen yoghurt? and sushi. this list is not exhaustive.

if you have specific questions about children, i will most probably give as useful and thought-out a response as i can, possibly with relevant links.

that is all. :)

/key points

------remnants of old profile below----------

i have a particular appreciation for clear, consistent, insightful expressions of love/care/delight/personal growth/etc.

I am passionate, idealistic and steadfastly realistic about the nature and optimal development of humanity. I am also constantly in awe of the huge range of quality within human experience/perspective/interaction/existence (and how EVERY point on the spectrum can seem 'normal' or 'acceptable' - probably a testament to the malleability and resilience(?) of the human mind more than anything, imo. Not necessarily good or bad).

Such musings have been inspiration to work in (private) child care, carefully helping to build the foundation for people's social, emotional and psychological life. I enjoy interacting closely with parents as well! :D

I aim to nurture and protect resilience, curiosity, initiative, creativity, discernment, wholeness, personal wisdom and deep, genuine understanding/insight. I like seeing that spark in people's eyes, especially when working with children.

Regarding my favourite age group, well, what I do is basically all the same, but tailored to each stage of development (...including adulthood). I mean, it's great when kids can form coherent sentences and talk about things, but the challenging/engaging thing for me is picking up and responding appropriately to what's unsaid, figuring out which pieces of knowledge they need for things to actually make sense/'feel ok', and helping them to accept/work with reality. I mostly deal with 1-5 year olds atm. They are lovely :)

I have been gaining first hand experience and building up/testing out/modifying personal theories before deciding whether to move on from general child care. Probably won't go into teaching since I'd prefer a focus on fostering quality everyday experiences/perceptions rather than academics; Youth/Family counselling and Child Psychology seem to be the main alternatives.

in contemplative moods, i like seeing others' perspectives; when, why and how people change; what stays the same (when, why, how); what's truly vital and what's not. i like understanding underlying goals and motivations, how to meet all of them most efficiently (in terms of most happiness:least unhappiness), and how everything fits together. it satisfies me to dispel unnecessary mental shackles and negative self-fulfilling prophesies.

i used to be quite fascinated by social forces; people's perceptions; the creation, maintenance and evolution of real-life characters or personae; "genuineness" and moral fibre; and fairly universal laws. i'd say that for a while i was quite desperately -- almost hysterically -- looking for answers. while there's always more learning however, i seem to have integrated enough understanding into myself to just be happy and live :)

a few favourite quotes:

“Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure” -Henri Nouwen

“Your body needs to be held and to hold, to be touched and to touch. None of these needs is to be despised, denied, or repressed. But you have to keep searching for your body's deeper need, the need for genuine love. Every time you are able to go beyond the body's superficial desires for love, you are bringing your body home and moving toward integration and unity.” -Henri Nouwen

"History, as nearly no one seems to know, is not merely something to be read. And it does not refer merely, or even principally, to the past. On the contrary, the great force of history comes from the fact that we carry it within us, are unconsciously controlled by it in many ways, and history is literally present in all that we do. It could scarcely be otherwise, since it is to history that we owe our frames of reference, our identities, and our aspirations. And it is with great pain and terror that one begins to realize this. In great pain and terror one begins to assess the history which has placed one where one is and formed one's point of view. In great pain and terror because, thereafter, one enters into battle with that historical creation, Oneself, and attempts to re-create oneself according to principles more humane and liberating: one begins the attempt to achieve a level of personal maturity and freedom which robs history of its tyrannical power, and also changes history." - someone easy enough to look up ;)

"Unfortunately, when you react against something that is "sinful", you will often go to the other extreme, and you can get into as much trouble as you were in before. You can jump from the frying pan into the fire, or as I often put it, throw out the baby with the bathwater.

...Since integrity is never painless, reformation is much more difficult than revolution. Whether the... movement is going to be saving or damning will come down to whether it is a movement of revolution or of reformation--whether it can motivate the people attracted to its new ideas to do the painful work and practice the discipline required not to throw the baby out with the bathwater, to integrate the best of the new with the best of the old." - M. Scott Peck

"Affirmation is a way to avoid looking at evil. It is saying, 'Well, yes, my stepfather molested me as a child, but that was just his human failing, part of his being damaged in childhood.' Forgiveness, on the other hand, requires facing evil squarely. It is saying to your stepfather: 'What you did was wrong, despite your reasons for it. You committed a crime against me. And I know that, but I still forgive you.' That is not easy by any stretch of the imagination... It requires briefs for the prosecution, and briefs for the defense, and then appeals and counterappeals, until a judgement is finally brought in... Only after a guilty verdict can there be a pardon." - Further Along the Road Less Travelled, M. Scott Peck

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." -Henri Nouwen

"Indeed, the quality of our life is determined precisely by the quality of our judgements."

"The world is not a battlefield, although occasionally it may feel like it. You are not a victim, even though it is so pleasurable to play into our neuroses."
What I’m doing with my life
"If what matters in a person's existence is to accept the inevitable consciously, to taste the good and bad to the full and to make for oneself a more individual, unaccidental and inward destiny alongside one's external fate, then my life has been neither empty nor worthless. Even if, as it is decreed by the gods, fate has inexorably trod over my external existence as it does with everyone, my inner life has been of my own making. I deserve its sweetness and bitterness and accept full responsibility for it."

apart from being completely in love with my midget friends (i.e. kids i work with), might do some form of child advocacy and counselling/psychology at some point.
I’m really good at
blending practicality and philosophy. seeing and synthesizing different perspectives. having a funny sense of humour. hurr.
The first things people usually notice about me
new person/face/[insert noun here].

"you seem much happier and vibrant in person"
"you have a nice smile"
"you're really short"
"your persona makes you seem a lot bigger than you are":
(after about 5 months of being together I discovered that if I chest-bumped my partner, I could make him pee. Not that I did make him pee. Or that he would let himself pee on me. I'm just... strangely, ridiculously short compared to him, despite how we generally 'feel'/see each other as if we're about the same size. Also his forearm is the length of my calf, and his biceps are wider than my head.

ALSO, after seeing us together for the first time, the neighbour's husband said that JAKE made ME look tiny! To which is wife answered that I was in fact really small, and Jake is more normal-sized than I. HAH! Win.)

"You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie
You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop
Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye
And I love you so and I want you to know
That you'll always be right here (in my heart!)
And I love to sing sweet songs to you
Because you are so dear"

but let's play 'pop Kat's ego'

messages:

"I may be going mad...

... But, based on your profile picture, I believe I may have seen you in the city around lunch time, today.

If not, then I believe I may have sighted your possibly-evil twin, or to refer back to my opening statement, I may be going crazy."

" i don't even remember how i stumbled upon your profile. but honestly, something about it, the detailed information, the journal entries, the honesty. it absolutely intimidated me haha, i hadn't seen a profile like yours

i knew i had to send you a message, just something, anything
i really wanted to talk to you

i was definitely relieved when you came across so nice, since i know girls on [okc] get so many messages that they tend to just write guys off"

"You're not like some skank i could just go and chat up, take home and etc etc. Not that it would be simple or even possible to do that with you, now that i know what you're like, i couldn't. I just couldn't think about it that way. ever."

"i'm conflicted; on the basis of your written material i find you slightly terrifying. on the other hand, from your photos, you are absolutely, unconscionably cute."

"Oh, Kathryn, dear Kathryn, to dance on clouds with you, and hunt down stars in your name. Oh great goddess, no man could resist your charms, and all stand in awe of your magnificence."

"Maybe you like writing, and were simply bored at one point. Maybe you just don't take the whole endeavour as seriously as your tone indicates, in some kind of literary sarcasm. Or maybe you have Aspergers-like tendencies to over explain things without the contrived goal or conceptiuon I was criticising.

So either you are a gorgeous and intelligent pain in the arse- or a gorgeous and intelligent amicable eccentric."

oooh oh, new fav (after *mistakenly* assuming he was a friend of a friend - whoops - and sending a rather chirpy message):

"Holy fuck. I am tired and hung over, and you just sent coke out my nose. I need to clean my keyboard, thanks :p.

Keep being a screwball...even if your profile reads like a briefing. You are entertaining and HOLY FUCK WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT PHOTO"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
-i like positive psychology and have occasionally read articles on it (instead of defining health as simply 'a lack of symptoms of illness', it defines health as 'having symptoms of health'). one of the founders of the movement is A. H. Maslow - the guy who studied '(the process of) self-actualisation' and devised the 'hierarchy of needs'. another founder of the movement is Carl Rodgers, who revoluntionised counselling psychology with his humanistic, person-centered approach. i also like my unit readings and other child care practice updates. sometimes i read the stories of child abuse survivors. all very inspiring and applicable, and there's a lot of personal maturity in those texts.

yay! http://www.ted.com/

an exceedingly excellent book is John Gottman's "The Heart of Parenting: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child." (possibly one of the wisest, most perceptive and practical texts i will read in my lifetime. the messages are stated simply, clearly and with many day-to-day examples that are easy to relate to. the concepts may easily be generalised to adult interactions - in fact, this is encouraged since it's difficult to teach kids what you don't preach. Gottman is my hero for making/compiling a pretty comprehensive science of everyday dynamics within families and couples.)

"The Optimistic Child" by Martin E. Seligman is a must for anyone who is not happy with their lives. Seriously, win. It's an extremely practical and effective step-by-step guide to being aware of and getting a hold of oneself, then teaching this to children.

another good author is Daniel Hughes, who writes a lot on the ins and outs of effective foster care. brilliant stuff and often counter-intuitive, particularly with regards to children with a (chronically) negative self-image.

not huge on fiction, but occasionally authors like Jacqueline Carey, Patrick Rothfuss and David Weber will be recommended to me. and books like Ender's Game.

and food for thought for those who like personality tests:
http://skepdic.com/forer.html

movies:
i hardly watch movies if left on my own, but here are some movies i've enjoyed: phone booth, serenity, hannibal, reefer madness (the musical), up, How to Train Your Dragon, district 9, sorority boys, kick-ass. The Princess Bride (1987). i like hong kong made martial arts films/classics (e.g. once upon a time in china). zombieland, star dust. and some anime.

the rest don't make the cut to be listed, for reasons uncertain.

music:
jazz by default, or older stuff like classical, gregorian chant, some opera, some country. if you have singstar disney, i'll sing along to it. but i can also be a rhythm junkie, and usually enjoy things outside my normal range.

some special names include: little dragon, santa gold, michael harrison (unique piano instrumentals), anna moffo (opera singer - youtube her! her voice and emotionality is amazing! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGtZHcC39do)

i like the channels 'lush' and 'space station soma' at http://somafm.com/listen/

food:

whether i'm a foodie depends a lot on my moodie. (sorry, lame, i know, but odds are i'd be up for cooking or discovering new foods)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
the vast, open possibilities. which to do next. what to cook next.

"Why does one repeatedly rise in the morning, eat, drink, and go to bed again? The child, the savage, the healthy young person does not suffer as a result of this cycle of senseless automatic activities. If a man does not think too much, he rejoices at rising in the morning, and at eating and drinking. He finds satisfaction in them and does not want them to be otherwise. But if he ceases to take things for granted, he seeks eagerly and hopefully during the course of the day for moments of real life, the radiance of which makes him rejoice and obliterate the awareness of time and all thoughts on the meaning and purpose of everything."

people watching. i wonder about their stage in life, how they may have been as children, what molded them into who they are today, how they portray themselves to the world, and the underlying motivations/goals (both 'personal' and those which seem quite universal among people). i think about my friends, families and children (the ones i care for at daycare or babysitting); how they will grow up; how they are growing; the direct impact my actions (will) have; how i can improve my interactions with them; which experiences they'd benefit most from in the near future.
On a typical Friday night I am
Happy and rejuvenated after a long day at work. <3

I Lick My Brain In Silence:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIPt7_-MYIE&NR=1
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
-->This<--- is (an old version of) my philosophy on children and their learning. It is deeply meaningful and personal to me, and many ideals will be applied across my life and lifespan.

My venture into child care was spurred by regret about my own childhood, and the childhood of my parents. Regret has spurred a lot of envy, but also determination for realistic understandings and the ability to recreate/manifest happiness, fulfilment and meaning in my life and those around me. The turning of a sense of "wrong" into an ideal, and then having the process turn into something more, something that's no longer tainted by regret, something that's beautiful and whole and lovable in and of itself -- that's why I stay.

(COoA says (10:25 AM):
your okc profile [and journal are] not a travel guide... [they're] a journal... you can follow it chronologically
and see progress
COoA says (10:26 AM):
because you are working to change yourself as well as your environment)


"For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. That is why young people, who are beginners in everything, are not yet capable of love: it is something they must learn. With their whole being, with all their forces, gathered around their solitary, anxious, upward-beating heart, they must learn to love. But learning-time is always a long, secluded time, and therefore loving, for a long time ahead and far on into life, is: solitude, a heightened and deepened kind of aloneness for the person who loves. Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person (for what would a union be of two people who are unclarified, unfinished, and still incoherent?), it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become world, to become world in himself for the sake of another person; it is a great, demanding claim on him, something that chooses him and calls him to vast distances. Only in this sense, as the task of working on themselves ("to hearken and to hammer day and night"), may young people use the love that is given to them. Merging and surrendering and every kind of communion is not for them (who must still, for a long, long time, save and gather themselves); it is the ultimate, is perhaps that for which human lives are as yet barely large enough."

"Of course, you must know that every letter of yours will always give me pleasure, and you must be indulgent with the answer, which will perhaps often leave you empty-handed; for ultimately, and precisely in the deepest and most important matters, we are unspeakably alone [as in, our capacity to think, understand and make our final decisions]; and many things must happen, many things must go right, a whole constellation of events must be fulfilled, for one human being to successfully advise or help another."
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–60
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
you think we'll enjoy our time together

(ftr, i don't think i reply that selectively. but if i don't within 3-5 days, either your message was particularly uninteresting, i was particularly lazy, or something quite new and exciting has happened. feel free to message again for an explanation though.)