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GlassInventory

31 M Van Nuys, CA

My Details

Last Online
Jun 11
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Banking / Finance
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
I'm not sure if I can write a blurb about myself that's really indicative of my character. You may get to know me best by reading a sampling of my random social-networking posts.

"Anyone else remember when 'cosplay' was 'playing dress-up?'"

"Dear Mrs. Fields,

"You've had at least 20 years to trick into everyone thinking 'giant cookie=cake' as opposed to a baking accident. You've failed. Move on. If you insist on continuing to hock platters of wasted cookie dough with "Thank you" written on them in tiny, sad, frosting-letters, have the decency to include a shotgun and someone to shout 'PULL!'"

"Career Options to Consider:
1: U.S. Marshal
2: Old-Timey Detective
3: Pirate King
4: Old-Timey Physicist
5: Owner of Best/Worst/Most Obscure Tattoo ever."

As you have noticed if you've gotten this far, it's hard for me to talk about myself in anything approaching a serious manner. Don't worry, you like it, I'm hilarious. And charming. Also, handsome.

The Boring Details: I'm from New York originally and moved to L.A. to go to college. Next thing you know, I went native, bought property, got used to not having winter for seven months a year, started to actually make eye contact with strangers every now and again.

Random facts that I've just decided are revealing:

I hate it when able-bodied people stand on escalators. When I'm forced to stand still, either because of injury or extreme fatigue, I have the decency to feel weak.

The last time I got my hair cut, I had a very pleasant conversation with the stylist who just had a baby girl that she named, Versailles. Mostly it was pleasant because I resisted the urge to mock this name. I was exceedingly proud of myself for showing this restraint.

I can name all of the Presidents in order. And will. You can't stop me.

I love to cook, especially food that is really too spicy and/or produce that comes in unusual colors.

I hate all Apple products. There are rational and irrational reasons for this.
I've decided that my Kindle is the best invention ever. Just recently, I plowed through a Doctor Who novel on it with what can only be described as childish glee.

I love a good argument.

Ideally, you are a person who appreciates/tolerates all of these things and are also not imaginary. Well, a man can dream...
What I’m doing with my life
Working...Writing...Taking improv classes...Amature podcastin'...Plotting against you.
I’m really good at
Again, I'm hilarious. Also a good cook. Oh, and you know that friend/relative that thinks he/she knows everything? I will humiliate them for you.
The first things people usually notice about me
The blood...always the blood.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books:
Everything by Douglas Adams. Ditto John Hodgman. Some Harlan Ellison. Just finished off a one-two punch of Team of Rivals and Nixonland.
Movies:
Chinatown, The Big Lebowski (before it was cool), Zero Effect, Cabin in the Woods.
Shows:
Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Doctor Who, Archer, 30 Rock, Community.
Music:
Most Jazz, Warren Zevon, Florence and the Machine.
Food:
Curry, grapefruit.
The six things I could never do without
Democracy, the caring indulgence of friends and associates, gum,
my Kindle, and whatever force it is that pushes me out of the bed at 5 in the morning. Also, Tungsten.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The children. Won't someone think of them?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If I was willing to admit it here it wouldn't be private at all would it? Got ya there.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
...you are so inclined.