Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm not sure if I can write a blurb about myself that's really
indicative of my character. You may get to know me best by reading
a sampling of my random social-networking posts. Por exemplo:
"Look, I'm just gonna tell you up front, if the only way out of
this hostage situation is for me to order Pizza Hut, we're gonna
"Dear Mrs. Fields,
"You've had at least 20 years to trick into everyone thinking
'giant cookie=cake' as opposed to a baking accident. You've failed.
Move on. If you insist on continuing to hock platters of wasted
cookie dough with "Thank you" written on them in tiny, sad,
frosting-letters, have the decency to include a shotgun and someone
to shout 'PULL!'"
"Career Options to Consider:
1: U.S. Marshal
2: Old-Timey Detective
3: Pirate King
4: Old-Timey Physicist
5: Owner of Best/Worst/Most Obscure Tattoo ever."
As you have noticed if you've gotten this far, it's hard for me to
talk about myself in anything approaching a serious manner. Don't
worry, you like it, I'm hilarious. And charming. Also,
The Boring Details: I'm from New York originally and moved to L.A.
to go to college. Next thing you know, I went native, bought
property, got used to not having winter for seven months a year,
started to actually make eye contact with strangers every now and
Random facts that I've just decided are revealing:
I hate it when able-bodied people stand on escalators. When I'm
forced to stand still, either because of injury or extreme fatigue,
I have the decency to feel weak.
The last time I got my hair cut, I had a very pleasant conversation
with the stylist who just had a baby girl that she named,
Versailles. Mostly it was pleasant because I resisted the urge to
mock this name. I was exceedingly proud of myself for showing this
I can name all of the Presidents in order. And will. You can't stop
I love to cook, especially food that is really too spicy and/or
produce that comes in unusual colors.
I hate all Apple products. There are rational and irrational
reasons for this.
I've decided that my Kindle is the best invention ever. Just
recently, I plowed through a Doctor Who novel on it with what can
only be described as childish glee.
I love a good argument.
Ideally, you are a person who appreciates/tolerates all of these
things and are also not imaginary.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working in Downtown LA...Writing...Plotting against you.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Again, I'm hilarious. Also a good cook. Oh, and you know that
friend/relative that thinks he/she knows everything? I will
humiliate them for you.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The blood...always the blood.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Everything by Douglas Adams. Ditto John Hodgman and Sarah Vowell.
Some Harlan Ellison. I didn't think there could be a better book
about modern American history than Nixonland until I blew through
The Invisible Bridge.
Chinatown, The Big Lebowski (before it was cool), Zero Effect, The
Mad Men, Broad City, Doctor Who, Archer, 30 Rock, Community.
Most Jazz, Warren Zevon, Florence and the Machine. And a lot of
stuff that's just horrible but it's ok 'cause we're gonna say I
like it ironically, got it?
I'm pretty impressed with most anything I make myself and
completely fail to understand anyone appreciating fast food for
reasons beyond convenience. The trend toward cramming bacon (or
bacon-like materials) into every food (or food-like material) known
to modern science had me rolling my eyes even before I became a
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Democracy, the caring indulgence of friends and associates,
my Kindle, and whatever force it is that pushes me out of the bed
at 5 in the morning. Also, Tungsten. TUNGSTEN!
Also, I notice a lot of you like to list friends or family here.
Those are people, not things. Ok, fine, I'm being judgmental, maybe
you were raised in a janitor's closet and the Swifer is like a mom
to you, that's fair. However, it makes me think that dating you
might involve participation in one of those creepy Channel 4
documentaries which isn't something I'm interested in...unless I'm
doing the narration.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My ridiculously circuitous plan to avenge myself upon my many
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been told I have an unusually large sacrum.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Well...if you've gotten this far and you're interested, it seems
like the thing to do, doesn't it? I mean, that's how it works, you
get that right? You're on a dating site. I shouldn't be the one to
have to explain this to you.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.