So here is my latest thinking. Socrates may not have gotten everything right, but his idea to “know thyself,” was spot on. Here are things I know about myself.
“It’s the goin, not the getting there that’s good.” When songwriter Harry Chapin came up with this line years ago, I thought he was nuts. And he was talking about riding a Greyhound bus, for Gawd’s sake! Turns out, for me this now rings true. I really do value the journey, the twists and turns, the ups and downs along the way. I am goal oriented (you should see my Annual Personal / Professional Goal List, complete with quarterly check-in meetings I have with myself!). It serves a purpose, but I recognize its limitations.
It’s the great questions more than the easy answers that excite me, and I love to be around others who feel the same. Leading scientists now tell us that 90% of what exists in the universe can never be measured or known, but somehow they know it’s there! So that just has to leave a lot of room for questions that can’t be easily answered with a Google search, wouldn’t you think?!
It’s part of the reason I love traveling to places way off the Gringo Trail, and countries most unlike ours; Egypt, Guatemala, Iraq, and India, for example. It’s a rare opportunity to meet with folks who see the world often times very differently. And sometimes, surprisingly, much the same. No doubt, this quality has led me to do the international work I now do.
I am fascinated by the complexity and brilliance of the human body. I love staying fit, by doing things with my body that I love: dancing (swing, blues, zydeco), biking, hiking, golf and to do some of these with someone I love, and who shared the value of fitness, is like throwing high octane fuel on the chemistry fire!
I place a high value on family. I appreciate those who understand that family is forever, despite changes in formation, and so am willing to cut some slack to those who share the same gene pool. And I love seeing how my two daughters and I now have conversations where we are more like”friends sharing perspectives” than “dad giving more advice to his daughters."
Another element that will make for great chemistry; we will have lots of unique interests, unique ways of going about things, unique things we pay most attention to each day. We will, from time to time, misunderstand each other. But what we will be really good at is listening hard to each other and problem-solving together like pros. Stuff won’t fester.
I appreciate great effort over perfection. This leads me to doing things like singing and playing banjo in a bluegrass band, eating foods of unknown origin in remote locations, and hiking up Aasgard Pass with a 70 pound backpack at high noon. (I am not crazy though. It most certainly does not lead me to bungee-jump off a bridge, or go on a year-long silent meditation retreat. I know my limits).
I have an optimistic view of life. I tend to forgive quickly, laugh easily, and floss regularly. I enjoy writing, especially writing about the curve balls life throws us and how we respond . I am attracted to those who seek a heart-pounding romance, and who want to keep digging deeper into the relationship to learn more about what love can be.
There may never be a formula to understand chemistry. But if the above is attractive to you, we are off to a very good start. And the mysteries uncovered along the way will make for a more fascinating journey anyway.
Someone who loves the thrills of a wide variety of outdoor adventures and off-the-gringo-trail travels. Who would rather take the road less traveled, or check out the Ethiopian restaurant not yet tried. (More bonus points if you like to dance, sing, or tell good stories)!
Who likes to read novels and biographies or see movies about things neither one of us knows much about, and then talk together about what surprised you, what insights it revealed, and what cracked you up.