Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
In those pictures, I'm the one on the right
You're not gonna be able to convince me to settle for bad
If you like to giggle and have tempered expectations for this site:
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I think it's kind of neat that technically all you need in order to
be called a 'professional (fill in the blank)' is finding someone
willing to pay you. I'm just saying, couple hours on craigslist and
your resume could be STACKED. With that said, I make my living as a
bartender. I also (technically) am a roofer, a framer, actor, club
manager and (semi-professional) writer.
And I brew beer
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Avoiding Sharks, seriously I'm like a friggin pro.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
We both know the truth, but PLEASE at least pretend you're
interested in my personality and not just my mustache. Otherwise it
makes me feel cheap.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
TV: Anime and cartoons in general, quirky funny stuff, Twin Peaks,
Venture Brothers, Arrested Development, The Wire and Breaking Bad.
Favorite music: I actually have a pretty good collection, knowledge
and taste in music. I'd date me to get nearer to it. Listen to
almost everything, but especially partial to the Blues (Arthur
King, Lightning Hopkins, Muddy Waters et all). Books: The Little
Prince reduces me to tears, anything by Steinbeck (He can write
about everything better than anyone can write about anything),
Master and Margerita, Catch-22, some graphic novels, I lean hard
towards fiction. Movies: Harvey, Samurai flicks, Noir and Kung-Fu
stuff. Also Army of Darkness, Evil Dead, the good (bad) stuff.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I'm fairly adaptable, I really like peanut butter and drinking
though, I'll probably cry a little when I can no longer go running,
but it will be manly tears, like a Viking
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Things that make me laugh
Things that would make me laugh
Where I left my (fill in the blank)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The same thing I do every night... Try to take over the
Unless there's a Bruins game on
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I want to get back to something I touched upon earlier: I really
don't like sharks. Now I know some people will want to argue about
their 'majestic nature' and all that, but really, I think sharks
are jerks. That's why they call jerk pool players sharks, because
all they want to do is eat you, or take your money. That's not
cool. There are other jerks in the animal kingdom, but none more so
than the shark. That's why you have 'Grizzly man' but no shark man.
I know it didn't end up so hot for him, but the guy lasted years
(months?) hanging out with bears, if they were sharks? Much shorter
documentary. I think it's cause they know they've got a pretty
unbeatable advantage. If you piss off a bear maybe you can climb a
tree or something, that aint happening in the water, you can't swim
higher. That, and if you're running from a bear and get tired you
sit down. If you get tired swimming from a shark, you drown. Man I
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I mean, technically I guess I want you to contact me if you're
awesome, stunning and meeting you would rock my world, or some such
phrasing. Especially if you have tattoos and own a pair of Audrey
Horns (the shoes, not person). But you can also contact me if we
score higher than a 55% chance of being enemies. Like, we should
meet, right? Most probable scenario is it's obvious why we should
never be at the same table together, and we can go back to our
friends afterwards and complain/laugh about how horrible the
date/person was. You can go back to your ultra-conservative,
homophobic sports bar friends and laugh about the liberal,
annoyingly/confusingly irreverent wuss who wouldn't shut up
about... I don't even know what the hell he was talking about, he
was soooo damn irreverent.
But see there's another enticing possibility: even better, maybe we
hit it off AMAZINGLY and then spend the rest of the time together
in a constant state of paranoid alertness, waiting for the big shoe
to drop. Danger zone.
...Or we just have hate sex, it's like spite sex only more soul
Who are you looking for?
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