I'm about to not take most of this seriously... BUT, if you like to giggle and have tempered expectations for this site: hi, let's chat
What I’m doing with my life
I think it's kind of neat that technically all you need in order to be called a 'professional (fill in the blank)' is finding someone willing to pay you. I'm just saying, couple hours on craigslist and your resume could be STACKED. With that said, I make my living as a bartender. I also (technically) am a roofer, a framer, actor, club manager and (semi-professional) writer.
And I brew beer
I’m really good at
Avoiding Sharks, seriously I'm like a friggin pro.
The first things people usually notice about me
We both know the truth, but PLEASE at least pretend you're interested in my personality and not just my mustache. Otherwise it makes me feel cheap.
Speaking of first impressions, I'm gonna give you an unfair advantage: do you like what you're reading, but want to make sure my pictures are accurate/I'm not secretly two midgets in a trenchcoat? Well, I'm a bartender at The Field in Central Square. You can totally check me out on the sly and I'll never know! Let's be honest though- it'll kind of blur the line between "due-diligence" and "stalking"... So tip nicely.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
TV: Anime and cartoons in general, quirky funny stuff, Rick and Morty, Twin Peaks, Venture Brothers, Arrested Development, The Wire and Breaking Bad. Favorite music: Listen to almost everything, but especially partial to the Blues (Arthur King, Lightning Hopkins, Muddy Waters et all). Books: The Little Prince reduces me to tears, anything by Steinbeck (He can write about everything better than anyone can write about anything), Master and Margerita, Catch-22, some graphic novels, I lean hard towards fiction. Movies: Harvey, Samurai flicks, Noir and Kung-Fu stuff. Also Army of Darkness, Evil Dead, the good (bad) stuff.
The six things I could never do without
I'm fairly adaptable, I really like peanut butter and drinking
though, I'll probably cry a little when I can no longer go running,
but it will be manly tears, like a Viking
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Things that make me laugh
Things that would make me laugh
Where I left my (fill in the blank)
On a typical Friday night I am
The same thing I do every night... Try to take over the world.
Unless there's a Bruins game on
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I want to get back to something I touched upon earlier: I really
don't like sharks. Now I know some people will want to argue about
their 'majestic nature' and all that, but really, I think sharks
are jerks. That's why they call jerk pool players sharks, because
all they want to do is eat you, or take your money. That's not
cool. There are other jerks in the animal kingdom, but none more so
than the shark. That's why you have 'Grizzly man' but no shark man.
I know it didn't end up so hot for him, but the guy lasted years
(months?) hanging out with bears, if they were sharks? Much shorter
documentary. I think it's cause they know they've got a pretty
unbeatable advantage. If you piss off a bear maybe you can climb a
tree or something, that aint happening in the water, you can't swim
higher. That, and if you're running from a bear and get tired you
sit down. If you get tired swimming from a shark, you drown. Man I
You should message me if
I mean, technically I guess I want you to contact me if you're stunning, awesome and meeting you would rock my world, or some such phrasing. Especially if you have tattoos and own a pair of Audrey Horns (the shoes, not person). But you can also contact me if we score higher than a 55% chance of being enemies. Like, we should meet, right? Most probable scenario is it's obvious why we should never be at the same table together, and we can go back to our friends afterwards and complain/laugh about how horrible the date/person was. You can go back to your ultra-conservative, homophobic sports bar friends and laugh about the liberal, annoyingly/confusingly irreverent wuss who wouldn't shut up about... I don't even know what the hell he was talking about, he was soooo damn irreverent.
But see there's another enticing possibility: even better, maybe we hit it off AMAZINGLY and then spend the rest of the time together in a constant state of paranoid alertness, waiting for the big shoe to drop. Danger zone.
...Or we just have spite sex, it's like hate sex only more soul crushing.