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26 / M / Bisexual / Seeing someone
His journal posts
Jun 21, 2012
I hadn't really thought of this before.
I may have a brick wall that I cannot overcome.
If you talk to those who knew me in high school they'd probably say I was a workaholic and smart (whatever that means).
I had so many plans, but one in particular was getting a PhD.
But this may be where the wall is.
It may be hard to understand the immensity of this issue with respect to me. You'd have to know that I love learning and try to learn about many fields.
Before people say the old "You can be whatever you want to be", I want them to ponder the following:
Would you tell Stephen Hawking that he could be a basketball star? Would you tell a teenager with terminal cancer, 6 months left to live let's say, that he would graduate college?
Sadly, physical handicaps are not the only kind of handicap. Mental illness can be a mental handicap.
I'm currently working through my first podcast for the I Have A Mental Illness project, ihaveamentalillness.com. I am going through the topic of chronic illness, what it means, if it can be understood at all...
Jun 21, 2012
It's not that hard for guys (I hear it's immensely more difficult for women, so to any woman who has lost significant weight, wow! congrats :) ), but it's all in the habit...
Habit is significantly hard to break I've found. When my mind was battling to keep obsessive thoughts away (before I really got down to fixing that/dealing with it) I multitasked to the point of 0 productivity but avoiding thinking about anything unpleasant. I also ate junk food. A lot of junk food. I gained 70 lbs lots of junk food. (That's partially also due to a drug that made me crave carbs hardcore, and some part of it was just self medicating).
So now I'm trying to lose weight... a long way to go. But I have lost a solid 15 lbs (have been hovering there for a while, hopefully by July I'll be under 220... and then by the end of August 200.
For those who are curious, my decision to lose weight was completely determined for health reasons. I have been a prime target for diabetes II, and thankfully have never acquired it... but I was in serious danger of ending up with it.
So ya, was 240, now am 225. Hopefully I can keep it up.
Jun 6, 2012
Amazing singers, especially given their ages. A lot of people talk about songs "soaring". The guy in this bit, Jonathan Antoine, achieves a soaring B natural.
I've probably replayed this at least 20 times... so good :)
Jun 4, 2012
I'm hoping to drop at least 40 lbs this summer.
If you looked at my pics you'd probably guess low on my weight, heck most people don't believe it when they see me in person.
Anyway, lost 7-8 lbs so far... hopefully more to come
Oh, and just so nobody gets the wrong impression, my current weight puts me at risk of Diabetes II... so this is about health, not my appearance.
Jan 11, 2012
Your friend has been locked up in his room for days. You see him only get up to use the bathroom and then return to his room.
Well there's only so much you can do. And only so much you would do.
For the moment let's assume he's not playing Skyrim of WoW. I tend to think a friend should try to help. Invite the isolated person to dinner with some other friends. Try and appeal to their interests. In the end thought, it's not your business. You're only responsible for you (excepting those under your care, and by this I mean instances like children or a disabled adult child).
But that brings about a bigger question. What could you possibly do for a mentally ill friend? Is there any way you can help him?
Sadly in my opinion the answer is probably no. You can't help him through yourself alone. In the end he really has to make a decision himself. Therefore I would look not to barge in and set up a group of friends to tell the student what you think he needs to be told. You can't know what needs to be told, and the reason for this is rather simple. In my experience a mentally ill individual cannot be convinced by others. What you should look for are opportunities when he reaches out, if he does. At the point he reaches out, he is saying "OK, I might be wrong".
One caveat, and unfortunately it's a big one. If you know the student is a danger to himself or others, you really need to call 911. Notice I said "know" not "believe". This is extremely important. If you know then your chance of false positive is very slim. If you "believe" I would be very cautious as sometimes you'll see evidence of acts that never took place. We look for patterns, always be aware of that.
Jan 10, 2012
I have started a new blog on mental illness and mood disorders. For those who don't know I have bipolar II. I have been worried about admitting it before, but I feel that because I have been lucky with treatment and social network, I must help those who are in similar conditions who for one reason or another can't talk about it publically
I am asking for any suggestions people have and for any questions people want answered about mental illness and mood disorders. Of course I'm only an expert on my own condition, but I will do my best to write something that will resonate with as many people as possible.
May you all be well!
Dec 18, 2011
Youtube-grown artist, she has an amazing voice!
Jun 25, 2011
This was bugging me a couple days ago...
So apparently one of the states is considering giving money to people who were sterilized when the US flirted with Eugenics.
Let me say upfront that I abhor the idea of castrating or sterilizing someone against their will, however the argument was made that someone had the "right" to procreate.
This is simply false. This is false because there are a large number of people who for one reason or another can't procreate. Gay persons can't procreate without a non-partner involved, neither can many others because of various issues that left them sterile. Injuries or disease or genetic defects can all be causes of this.
Random, but I've been thinking about that.
Jun 14, 2011
So much fun to record songs. I recently recorded my own covers of Fire and Rain by James Taylor, Broken Vow as performed by Josh Groban, Anthem from the musical Chess, Wicked Game by Chris Isaak, Besame Mucho as performed by Andrea Bocelli. Currently working on This Nearly was Mine, I Can Go The Distance and a few others... wheeeee!
Check it out at
May 21, 2011
Currently attempting to compose a musical piece.. I have no idea how it will turn out in the end, currently it's open to anybody to read it, although the site has been weirding off lately.
Give it a listen, leave a comment (here preferably) if you like it, hate it, any opinions are very welcome, though if you have a problem with part of the piece, either make the criticism constructive or at least give a modicum of information on how you think it could be improved.