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33 M San Francisco, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 8:33am
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
A little extra
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm from Michigan. I'm awesome. I like getting lost. Mexican food is muy bueno! Seeing the world is neat. I can tell my life story through a series of concert t-shirts. I have a small dog named Waffle. He is pretty rad. He rides in my backpack. Yes, I want to go to the beach. I lived on Maui for four years. No, I don't know what I was thinking by leaving. I can't seem to make it to the zoo but I want that too. One time I lived on a Canadian pirate ship in Panama. I sing a lot, even though I'm not that good at it. I dance even though I'm terrible at it. Sometimes, I play ukulele and guitar(not at the same time). I have a harmonica but I can't play it. Yellow is a good color but I don't want a yellow car or your yellow candy. Ok, I'll take the yellow candy. Dressing up in costumes is awesome, especially, on random days. Drinking beer in the shower is fantastic. Drinking beer out of the shower, also, fantastic. Bacon, it's pretty fucking good. I enjoy climbing high and looking down. I've never had a bad time with pie. I like to listen to albums, for the first time, from beginning to end. I make fancy food but still appreciate dollar menus. I will never be too old for video games. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a magician but I don't do magic tricks. I thought having a magic hat and wand would be sweet. Santa didn't bring me either. I've always made fun of yoga. Then one day I went to Bikram. Damn, that felt good. Now I do yoga.
What I’m doing with my life
Being dumb with Waffle. Drinking champagne in random places.
I’m really good at
Believing it's funny now.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies: Little Shop of Horrors might be the best movie of all time. Horror movies are awesome, even the bad ones. Trainspotting. Stand By Me. Bubble Boy. Finding Nemo.
Shows: The New Girl, Californication, Breaking Bad. Dexter. Simpsons. South Park. Game of Thrones. Walking Dead. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. LOST.
Food: It's good. Cheese? Bacon? Yes and YES!!
Music: The Pimps of Joytime, The Blue Van, Pearl Jam,The Pimps, Galactic, The Wood Brothers, Lucius, Zee Avi, G Love, Cake, The Head and the Heart, Dog Fashion Disco, Muse, Arctic Monkeys, TOOL, Queens of the Stone Age, Deftones, Dumpstaphunk, Clutch, Beck, Beastie Boys, Alabama Shakes, K. Flay, California Honeydrops.
Books: Clockwork Orange, The Thief of Always, The Dark Tower, Kitchen Confidential, The Giver. Yertle the Turtle.
The six things I could never do without
Chocolate. Beach. Bacon. Salt. Pepper. Champagne.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Writing a musical. The hypocrisy of fat vegetarians. Where I'll land next. How do I get paid more to do less work? Bacon. Will I ever be awesome on this guitar? How do I get my feet in the sand again? Candy. Will I be as awesome in the zombie apocalypse as I imagine? Probably. When I was a kid I dreamed of having a Smurf as a pet. It was awesome. He rode in my pocket and was my best friend. Why women on here complain about selfies? If I had someone to take pictures of me, I wouldn't be on this site. Why do people live to say they don't watch TV but watch a shit load of netflix? It's not different. You're not different. You're a dickhead.
On a typical Friday night I am
Out hunting Mumford and his stupid sons.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I watch Glee. There, I said it.
Also, I'm an axe murderer.
Just kidding.
I'm a regular murderer.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 23–37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You know what one snowman said to the other snowman?
You want to discuss how terrible the end of Dexter was. Seriously, WTF?!
You like things.
You enjoy stuff.
You think I'm a dildo and want to let me know.