Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


31 Tinley Park, IL Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 27–37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 8:59pm
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Has dogs and likes cats
English, French (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly), Italian (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am on this site looking for a long term monogamous relationship. In short, someone to laugh and share my love of life. I am going to try and keep these descriptions short (HA!) but if anything catches your interest please bug me about them.

Also, I am looking to meet people face to face on a date. You would think that this would be common knowledge but there have been times when people will message me and then bail when asked to meet up. So if you message me don’t be surprised if I ask you out at some point.

I am light hearted and have ditched any notion of shame long ago. My sense of humor is odd and I have little to no filter, in short anything is fair game but I make fun of everything equally. I can be mature when the occasion calls for it, but I'm
easily amused. I laugh at any silly little thing that crosses my
mind. Its been awhile since I have been in a relationship so dating and transitioning to a relationship feels a little foreign to me at times. Its just a little hard for me to tell if there is compatibility or if I am just dense.

I have a masters’ degree in literature and writing. My focus was American Lit and Pulp Lit. I am a huge Lovecraft Junkie.

I love historical fencing. Italian Long sword and German Rapier/dagger are my favorite. Been practicing for about 4 years. I enjoy numerous hobbies that got me beaten up in middle school (that's right I am a pre Big Bang nerd!). I love card games, board games, and games that require strategy, tanks, infantry, and dice.

I am a historical reenactor. This stems from my love of history to the extent that I am willing to play dress up in order to educate and entertain the public.

If I were a cartoon, classical Chuck Jones or Tex Avery are
my style.

I also swear like a sailor... just in case I sound too innocent.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Writing my own Pulp Lit and academic articles about Pulp Lit.

Playing the drums and trying to learn the accordion. Not as much as I would like but I do what I can.

I work in the marketing department for a non-profit hospital located downtown. Grunt work, I get to do some writing, and about once or twice a month I help homeless people get a free physical and check up so they don't die. I am not a rich man but I like helping others. I'm also involved in the hospitals community farm stand and got sucked into urban agriculture, I like it!

Working on a 1,000pt Imperial Guard army. (If you understand this, props.)

Re-watching Farscape. I fucking love that show.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being creative in all sorts of mediums, writing is only one of them. Over the past years I have dabbled in woodworking, sculpture, photography and sewing. All of which have spawned some horribly interesting results. I am make a bunch of Cthulhu Mythos props and artifacts out of clay. Pages from the Necronomicon, idols, and strange tentacles in jars. I want my house to look like the library at Miskatonic University. ( Go fighting cephalopods! Ie Ie Cthulhu Fhtagn!)

So basically craft night could trump most outings.

Being me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I stand six foot four but most of all it is my deep voice that carries over a crowd. Small children stare at me like I am a mythical creature. The fact that I can do a decent Chewbacca impersonation doesn't help.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Some of my favorite authors: Hemmingway, Updike, Frost, Lovecraft, Vonnegut, Hunter S. Thompson, Christopher Moore, Salvatore, Tolkien, William King, Poe, Ginsburg, Burroughs, Bukowski, Kerouac, and Douglas Adams. Looking back, I read the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy in high school and made me aware of atheism.

Max brooks is a god followed by Kirkman. I will hate the movie to my grave.

Oh, and Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal. The original recipe for baby back ribs.

I love good science fiction, mystery, and comedy. I love Mel Brooks, Monty Python, and other forms of sick and twisted humor. Cowboy Bebop. Farscape, Deadwood, Game of Thrones and Rome (and the occasional episode of Sponge Bob). Walking Dead. Game of Thrones. I am trying to catch up on Agents of Shield. Other then that the TV stays off most of the time. I am a walking fountain of Simpson and Futurama quotes.

I remember a time when the Sci-Fi Channel was abbreviated correctly and didn't suck.

Sadly, Peter Jackson has gone full Lucas.

Which I can live with because I have Guardians of the Galaxy.

Music: Cream, Jimmy Hendrix, King Crimson, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Parliament Funkadelic, David Bowie, Seu Jorge, Gypsy Kings, Bob Dylan, Credence Clearwater Revival, Pink Floyd, Frank Zappa, Queen, The Grateful Dead, Bob Marley, The Innocent Criminals, and Primus. Once again I cold go on.

I recently had the chance to see Don Giovanni at the Lyric Opera and I loved it!

I could listen to Billie Holiday every waking moment of my life.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My books. 2. My thoughts. 3. My dogs. 4. Something to write on. 5. Lemon Heads. 6. My ever growing hatred for pants!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Here are some random thoughts:

I think that American literature drives most of its strength from the nineteenth century. Ambrose Bierce is like Mark Twain with a kung foo grip.

In some perverse historical way of thinking I have the chance of witnessing the fall of western civilization, I was not around for Rome. If you cannot have utopia then you have to settle for what humanity gives to you. If I cannot live in a utopia then I will have to settle living in the wasteland, living for the next tank of gas with my androgynous man lover chained to my bike, killing with my wrist crossbow, and serving the the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!

What would Deadpool do?

Chicago, I have grown up around this city my entire life and I carry a mixed opinion. Its physical beauty is without argument. Culturally its is diverse wonderland of food, theater, and artistic expression.

That being said, politically Chicago is a disgusting dump of cronyism and corruption. Having participated in the Occupy movement, social activism in this city will drive you insane. Socially, I have encountered a lot of people who have developed huge ego problems simply because they live in the city and flaunt it as a social symbol. Fuck that shit.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I work till 7pm so its either pick up on something while I am in the city or head home. I am an introvert with the ability to schmooze and socialize but it does take a lot out of me. I do enjoy stepping out but most of the time I would rather be at home working on some little project or another.

When I do go out I like visiting friends for game night or occasionally seeing a live show or theater. Tracking down late night bookstores or evening bike rides. I like low key bars because having to shout while taking sucks.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I hate pants. very very VERY much. its a comfort thing.

Its been FAR too long since I have been camping, hiking, or fishing. This needs to be remedied now that I no longer work two jobs.

Despite having a masters in lit/writing I am not a grammar Nazi. I have three style guides and a number of dictionaries near by while working. Mistakes happen, fuck being perfect.

I like weed. Its 2014, its legal in numerous states, and I feel like I should be able to admit this with little to no shock. Do I need to date someone who indulges as well? I do not.

If Freddy Mercury and David Bowie had a child it would be soooooo beautiful if you gazed upon it your head would explode but not before saying "ITS BEAUTIFUL!" like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Life is short and I do my best to make every day fun. If you want to join in let me know!

Yes, I realize that I live in the suburbs. The horrible, nasty, culturally devoid suburbs where everyone comes to die if you step one foot out of the city. What some folk on this site fail to realize is that there are these wonderful things called 'roads' that will take me in and out of the city and close the infinite gulf that is twenty miles, which is what I do for my job four days out of the week. So this mean that I could, in theory, traverse in and out of the city for a date! So don't let the suburbs intimidate you!

I will now go back to beaming sunshine and kittens out of my ass.

Add a photo to:

Stay fresh with Instagram

Are you sure you want to delete this album?

Where's your photo?

Drop it like it’s hot

Photos must be at least 400 x 400px
Edit thumbnail
Add a caption

You look fantastic!