I don't know if I'm cut out for OkCupid because everyone here seems to be living every day like it was their last, and that's not the case for me. Just based on where I'm at, if my last thought was "I don't remember why I just came into the kitchen in the first place," I wouldn't be surprised.

And then, blammo, cardiac arrest. And the last thing I think as I look up at the kitchen ceiling is "Why didn't I blow every dandelion puff I crossed paths with? So much spontaneous dancing that I just passed on! I would've gotten more OkCupid dates for being such a whimsical dude," but then my heart explodes in my chest and the real last thing I think is "right, I went to the kitchen for a choco taco," etc.

So you're not going to find pictures of me on a snow-board and I don't have pictures up from my times overseas because I was doing weird things with my hair then and sometimes the past is best left as just that.

But I am my favorite person, and I assure you I hold myself to rigorous standards.

Rigorous.

So very much. By day I'm a mild-mannered administrative etc. for a place that sells commodities. By night I do standup comedy, and I'm pretty gosh-darn good at it. It's what I want to do for my regular bread, but for now I answer phones and manage the break room for so I can afford books and noodles.

Odd details and rigorous wording.

Since I got insured I was able to remove the thing that people used to always point and stare at so I guess these days...my glasses and winning smile?

Recently, in music: Grimes, Tame Impala, Death Grips, Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar, Pulp, Jonelle Monae, Joanna Newsom, MF DOOM, Grizzly Bear. Right now, as you're reading this, I'm somewhere straight blasting Drake and I don't care who knows.

And books: Roberto Bolano, Kurt Vonnegut, Jennifer Egan, J.G. Ballard, David Foster Wallace, Gertrude Stein, Murakami, McCarthy, Steinbeck, and so on.

food, too: I love food and I eat it every day. Pho over everything.

A pen.

Usually I look at stuff and wonder if I could launch off it. Even right now as I type this I'm thinking, this laptop would make a pretty kickin' skateboard ramp.

If you're right now overthinking the right thing to say in an actual message. I'm probably doing the same thing right now. The worst case is I don't respond, right?

I mean the real worst case is we go out and turn into the worst thing to happen to one another, but then the worst thing to happen to me so far has been The Butterfly Effect, so it's not like the waves you'd be making are catastrophic.