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29 • Des Moines, IA • Man
I’m looking for
- Ages 24–33
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
- Last online
- Today – 2:13am
- 6′ 3″ (1.91m)
- Body type
- Has dogs
I really dislike when someone tries to defuse a situation. Like, if I get mad at you because I think you're being petty and I call you out, don't fucking say, "I'm sorry," or change the subject. That's fucking rude. I have decided to be angry, and you're trying to make me not angry. You should, instead, help me be angry. Just like, if you're depressed, you don't want someone to come and cheer you up. That's patronizing, and a little arrogant. You just want someone to agree with you about how shitty and pointless life is.
So the next time a girl complains to me about Tina from accounting, I won't say, "Well maybe you should just avoid her." Instead, I'll say, "Tina sounds like a fucking bitch."
Other than that, I go to open mic shows, work a shitty warehouse job, drink beer, play nerdy games, and enjoy a near-constant state of languor.
The rest of my time I waste beat-boxing at my roommate's dog until he starts barking at me.
Making people laugh when they have liquids in their mouth.
Pretending to be serious.
Shaking my head, turning to a stranger, sighing, and saying, "White people."
My loud and discomforting laugh.
The stern visage of indifference.
Top 5 Books:
5. Nostromo by Joseph Conrad
4. Ubik by Philip K. Dick
3. Light in August by William Faulkner
2. Falconer by John Cheever
1. An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
Currently reading: Black Moon by Kenneth Calhoun
Top 5 Movies:
3. Tokyo Story
2. The Passion of Joan of Arc
1. In the Mood for Love
Most recently viewed: Gone Girl
Top 5 Musicians:
5. Patti Smith
4. Bill Withers
3. Van Morrison
2. Stevie Wonder
1. John Darnielle/The Mountain Goats
Currently digging: Courtney Barnett
Top 5 Podcasts:
5. Stuff You Should Know
3. Uhh Yeah Dude
2. My Brother, My Brother, and Me
1. You Made it Weird
Recently binged: X Files Files
Top 5 Standup Comedians:
5. Jen Kirkman
4. Pete Holmes
3. T.J. Miller
2. John Mulaney
1. Hannibal Burress
Currently laughing at: Chris Gethard
One time, instead of apologizing to a woman for cutting her in line at Fong's, I asked her, "Oh my God, did you tattoo your face?"
One time I drank gin from a plastic bag.
Sometimes I get really paranoid and think I have developed a lazy eye that all my friends are too polite to tell me about.
Message me if you think I look like a dead relative.
Talk to me if you don't have a quote tattooed on your body.
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