I am a dynamic figure often found wrestling with tigers and crushing stone. In my spare time I redesign railway stations, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethic slurs for Cuban refugees, compose best-selling rap albums, and am always exactly on time. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I am an unparalleled master of the tuba, can scale sheer cliff faces bare-handed, and can bake thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. My deft floral arrangements have earned me international fame in botany circles. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran of Vietnam, and an outlaw in Peru.

I am a cubist painter, a black belt in karate, and a ruthless bookie. I have been the ninth caller and have won the weekend passes. Once I prepared an extraordinary four-course meal using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I play bluegrass cello, have been scouted by the Cubs, and have been the subject of many documentaries. Children trust me.

I dance, I frolic, I dodge, I weave, and my bills are all paid. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. I have won bullfights in Madrid, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at The Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have never had a girlfriend.

Independent consultant in Boston and the Boston metro area. I do this for about 7-8 months of the year so I can work on making video games full time for the other 4-5 months.

taking naps. Naps are awesome.

Making non-key lime desserts into key lime desserts. I just made some from scratch key lime cookies tonight with some slightly limey but mostly vanilla frosting.

Also interior design, so I've been told. Sometimes people ask if I live in a magazine.

...are my dashing good looks. Or so I would hope!

Though usually it's that I'm exceptionally detail-oriented.

I very rarely watch television -- usually Top Gear (UK) when it airs for the season and that's it.

I've seen innumerable movies, and can't name a favorite.

My iPod library is probably terrifying at a glance. There's a lot of random 80s stuff (i.e. Stacey Q, Martika), but mostly a little bit of everything is in there (i.e. Classical, Dubstep, Electronic, Pop, etc.). In terms of quantity by artist, it's apparently Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, Queen, Nirvana, The Offspring, Alice in Chains, REM, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, and mostly other assorted 80s/90s metal and rock.

I like food, usually with a tasty beverage. I'm a big fan of all-day breakfasts in some hole-in-the-wall diner that looks like it belongs in an episode of the original Miami Vice.

Oxygen, water, glucose, good cardiac rhythm, cell division and ice cream.

what was on the ground in The Jetsons...

... that in Sandwich, the police are actually called the Sandwich Police...

... why sandwiches seem to taste better when they are cut diagonally...

... how much better Thunder Jets were than Shark Bites...

... what I'm going to plant on top of the cabinets, because onion grass is lame.

Messing around with my guitar, making a good dinner, and lazing around a bit to unwind from a busy week.

Only one item in my self-summary was true.

I may or may not be a ticklewhore.

I love hugs (except failhugs).

I say hello to most dogs I encounter.

I have a few 0/0/99% enemies on this site, and I kind of want to meet them!

You like hugs.

You are relatively open-minded.

You like staying in at times, but are willing to drag me out for adventures, especially if said adventures may involve ice cream.

You know what you want in life and are willing to go after it (including messaging me first).

You have some passion for something (anything). I don't care if it's rock climbing, baking, climbing the corporate ladder, or collecting Snoopy figurines -- but at least be passionate about something.

You do things you want, instead of doing things to impress others.