Issuing supreme power to you...one moment.

My self-summary Propose an edit

"In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
- Douglas Adams

I lead an interesting life. My past occupations have included: Visiting professor of Phrenology at the University of St. Christmas, foreman at a bubblegum-factory in Düsseldorf, rifleman in the Her Majesty's 12th Hussars division, chimney sweep, stock-jobber, and civil war re-enactor.

Currently I'm a industrial plutocrat, dabbling in photo-graph taking.

Pictures here.

I drive a maroon Stutz Bearcat, though it looks more burgandy.

What I'm doing with my life Propose an edit

Crushing social rivals and enemies with witty rejoinders and hostile business take-overs. Lawn-bowling in the afternoon, weather permitting. Subjugating the people of the lesser Americas. Going out with the lads and being quite the foppish oaf.

I'm really good at Propose an edit

Bridge, snooker, canasta, fortunatus, breaking union-lead strikes at my textile mills.

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit

I'm quite tall, and I tend to run into things because of poor spatial awareness.

Spats and a top-hat are growing less common, though no less important in my opinion.

A man is nothing without a good, bushy beard with which to protect him from the cold winter wind and pretty ladies.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food Propose an edit

A) The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Catch 22, the teachings of Diogenes, Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds, Colliers' Encyclopedia, The Chap.

B) Classical music (Glenn Gould, Bach, Struass, Vivaldi, Mahler, Holst), Jazz (The Dave Brubeck Quartet, Eldar, The Bad Plus, Art Blakey).

I'll have nothing to do with the growing popularity of Rhythm & Beat music, singers of which tonelessly eludicate on the most appallingly obscene topics whilst gyrating about in garish clothing and jewelry. To hell with all of them, I say!

The six things I could never do without Propose an edit

1) A steady supply of able-bodied immigrants to work in my factories
2) Coal, the fuel of mother industry
3) A certain sympathetic Federalist senator from Alaska (you know who you are!)
4) Fox-hunting
5) The Dewey Decimal System
6) A snifter of fine bourbon at the end of a long day

I spend a lot of time thinking about Propose an edit

How good it feels to be able to vote and own land.

On a typical Friday night I am Propose an edit

At the golfing-club, celebrating my latest financial successes.

Careening about the streets of the city in a covered motor-carriage, clutching a bottle of whiskey and singing war hymns.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here Propose an edit

My net value decreased slightly in the last fiscal year due to investments in the zeppelin industry not panning out, but it should be offset by ducking the income taxation program (shhhh! Don't tell the IRS!).

You should message me if Propose an edit

You remember a time when:

Courting involved dinner at a fine eating establishment, outings to the symphony, and lovely walks along the river.

The term "Cleveland steamer" referred to the steamboat line.

Men were gallant, women were sanguine and demure, and the captains of industry ruled the working classes with an iron fist.

Tests He's Taken View all