I'm not going to fill out this portion because I think it is pointless. All of the questions after this one are going to "summarize" who I am.

Sauté chef.

I would consider myself at least proficient at mountain biking, I can do a back flip on a trampoline, I can rip a phone book in half(seriously), I've had some of my writings published in a couple of magazines so I would consider myself a decent writer(though I'm not the best editor, so I'm sure that much of this will be ripe with misspellings and other such errors).
Oh and I'm also a pretty good friend and I'm good to my family.

If i were to guess i would have to say my tattoos as I have an abundance of them.

Since I really do not want to be stuck on my computer all day I'm not going to delve into this question entirely, i'm merely going to rattle off the first few things that come to my mind for each category.
Books: anything by Bukowski, everything by Vonnegut, anything by Shel Silverstein, a lot of things by Steinbeck, some things by Leon Uris, most things by Chuck Klosterman....
Movies: Tarantino, Guy Ritchie, Terry Gilliam, Kevin Smith, Michel Gondry, Alejandro González Iñárritu, Robert Rodriguez... pretty much anything these guys have put their hands on i consider gold.
Shows: Parks and Rec, Always Sunny, Mr. Show, Extras, Ricky Gervais Show, Arrested Development, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Flight of the Concords...
Music: Neil Young, Radiohead, Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Pink Floyd, Avett Brothers, Black Keys, Mewithoutyou, Tater Famine, Melville, Tyler Jacobs, Adam Ashe......
Food: I'm pretty simple when it come to food. Some of my favorites include(but not limited to) hamburgers, tacos, and fried chicken.

friends, family, art, beer, food, air

Love is like art. The minute that you show it to someone else you lose all ownership. Whoever bears witness to what you create has the right to shape and fashion it and manipulate in any way he or she decides.
Let love treat you like a dangling puppet. Let yourself be pulled and pushed. Let It contort you.. Don't fight love, love has never lost a battle. Love will beat you down and relish in it's victory. Love is cruel and unforgiving.
-Hank shafer

I don't really have "typical" Friday nights.

It has been less than 3 years since I have wet the bed. It's only happened one time though and i was extremely drunk.

You want to have witty conversation and you're willing(and able) to laugh and make other people laugh.

New rule: if you answered yes to the question " would the world be a better place if people with low IQs were not allowed to reproduce", then by all means DO NOT fucking message me. That is one of the most horrible fucking things I have ever heard. So just because someone isn't quite as smart as the average person they shouldn't be allowed the joy of a child? This makes no sense and it makes me enraged, it makes me want to be violent towards people(that is a tough place to get me to).