Being devout Amish I always do my utmost to prevent the theivery of my soul through photography by acting like an ass. ("acting" yeah, yeah that's the ticket)

making sweet love to a statue of Abe Lincoln (which he was WAY into by the way)

was ordered to smile by my stepmother so I did my best to make her regret that error in judgement

Sex-eee

If you can't tell that's a hand puppet of Abe Lincoln's head.

If this doesn't take me up to at least 96% I am gonna start takin hostages. You first, I saw you checkin out my ass in the last pic. Shame on you!!!