I am the GreeNataRiaN. Oder auf Deutsch: Ich bin der Grünetarisch.

Yeah, that's what it do.

It has been an exceedingly long time since I have updated or even acknowledged this ludicrous profile in any capacity. And in that time, my interest has waned to the point of nonexistence. I think I have a significant other. Actually, I'm not entirely certain one way or the other, but it doesn't make a bit of difference; I have not reactivated this account to seek a relationship or love or sex or intimate companionship or... whatever it is that humans seek on websites like this.

To be frank, I am bored. My subscription to GameFly has kept me in Xbox goodness, the local library has kept me in comic book goodness, and my Planet Fitness membership has kept the gun show in business. (Shwing!) But lately I've had hardcore cravings for some D&D. And in order to satisfy that desire, I need to start making some friends nearish my current place of residence.

I moved to the Poughkeepsie area over a year ago and since I am rather anti-social, I haven't made any cool "friends." (Well, having no job or car or money also plays a large part in the non-acquisition of the friendship, but fie on that convention, I say!) Having minimal acquaintances in the new area doesn't exactly throw a wrench into the clockwork of my daily schedule, but as I mentioned, I'm looking to start playing some D&D regularly. It's kind of the only thing missing from my near-perfect life.

So here we are. I am the GreeNataRiaN and I want to play some Dungeons and Dragons, please.

Didn't I cover this? What I'm doing with my life is: Not playing nearly enough Dungeons and Dragons. Let's get on this, people.

deigning ostentatiously contemptuous replies to inconsequential and platitudinous messages. Especially when said messages attempt to elicit some form of lascivious enterprise.

Oh, and amusing myself with my loquacious pretension. If I hadn't an anus, I could write for The New Yorker!

Family Guy references aside though (and points if you caught it), I am really quite a language snob. A grammar ninja, really. Which comes in handy for say, story telling... Role playing... Character dialogue...

are usually my monochromatic wardrobe and copious fleshly adornments. Or, in the case of online colloquy, my excessive use of polysyllabic words. I am very conspicuous.

Mensch! I hate this section with a fiery rage that would do Atrocitus proud. What the hell kind of boring conversations are people left to have when the new acquaintances they hope to make already know all the minutiae of their lives? I have lots of favorite things, but I refuse to name any of them here. And besides, I see that OKC has added "shows" to this category since my last visit, but not "games" and that is just egregious. Pfaw!

I hate this section almost as much as the previous one. Once again, I refuse to answer. And Lucifer help you if you are a person who listed your cellphone here; when Z-Day comes, I will find you and I will feed you to the zombies.

playing Dungeons and Dragons, dammit. But aside from that, this is another section I'll be leaving mostly empty today.

I will pontificate later, but right now, it's Game Time, people! S'go!

reading comics and/or playing any number of games that are not D&D. On an atypical, but not totally inconceivable Friday night, some of my exiguous friends will make the journey to come have an adventure with me. But with gas being expensive and my old "hood" being an hour away, it doesn't happen as often as I'd like. So, anyone around here up for some Friday night Dungeons and Dragons? Please?? Anyone??

Honestly, I'm a total noob. I've never actually played a real game (of D&D, that is)—totally not my fault though. I always wanted to play, but my friends were always "too cool." (Which, as we all know, really just means "not cool enough.")—
and the only books I have around to assuage the cravings are second-hand, first editions. And I'm told they're only good for sexy, nerd nostalgia these days.

Also, for reasons probably related to my humongous super-villain ego, I'm irrepressibly analytical of other people's profiles online; painfully unimaginative sobriquets and autobiographies vex me greatly.

you are looking for an inexperienced, but enthusiastic new addition to your D&D party.

You should absolutely not message me if
you only want to have sex with me. I know I'm irresistibly hot, but I am not accepting offers at this juncture. This here is all about the RPGness!