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31 M Newark, DE

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:43pm
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Sales / Marketing
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
I am a wizard and I am made of magic.

You know those guys that go to the gym and insist on dropping their dumbbells on the floor after every exercise as though they (the guys, not the dumbbells) were members of Satan's infernal menagerie and the dumbbells' handles were meticulously crafted from the bones of dead Popes and slathered in Mother Teresa's saliva? I am the diametrical opposite of those dudes; their dudely ways are anathema to me.

I've been known to climb a rock or two in my day. I was once a sprightly young lad with the strength of, uh, one man; in the twilight of my wasted youth I rattle bony fists at the heavens, seeking REDRESS for the grave injustices of age, all the while beating on, a boat against the current, borne back ceaselessly blah blah blah.

(Actually, I'm still a solid boulderer. Ha ha, jokes!)

My face looks about five years younger than it should*. Ladies with a preference for strategy over tactics, take note. *wink* (oh god what the hell are you even writing here) I'm not on that Dorian Gray trip, though, so you don't have to worry about my face suddenly taking on the appearance of hot wax dripped onto burnt leather if we go on a date. Though that would be a wicked party trick. No, we cannot "try it out."

* A fact that caused a modicum of awkwardness when I was 20. When people ask your boss why she's hiring 15-year-olds, that is a problem.

My voice is acrobatic -- I have some serious range. If I could sing worth a damn, maybe that would come in handy. I can make some deliciously odd sounds, though, so I'll take solace in the knowledge that I'll probably make an especially spooky ghost (Can ghosts haunt other ghosts? This is a burning question. It burns with something that burns really bright. And hot).

This is my favorite joke:
"A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre. The bartender gives it to her."

I'm looking for someone who is strong but kind, who has a bit of an edge but isn't so caustic as to melt the flesh from a man's bones. More lemon juice, less battery acid. If you enjoy physical activity, that's a mark in your favor.

And now, a list of true facts:

-- I'm a sucker for redemption narratives.
-- I'm an autodidact.
-- That said, I know very little (well, in a relative sense).
-- I eat healthy meals . . . most of the time.
-- Quiet at first, talkative later.
-- I enjoy absurd humor.
-- I like kids, but I'm not sure I want any of my own.
-- Late Spring and early Fall make me happy.
-- I'd rather be hot than cold.
-- Showers are amazing. Baths are amazing. I do fancy my ablutions.
-- I learned to read when I was 2. I might have peaked early.
-- I hate escalators with every fiber of my being.
What I’m doing with my life
I currently work in marketing for a small publishing company. I do social media, email, copywriting, ad design, blogging. Honestly, my favorite part is playing with HTML and CSS. Formerly an editor for the same company.

I want to move to Colorado.

Otherwise, I don't know. And that's thrilling in some ways, because I want to do so many things that it's hard for me to decide. I want to write dystopian science-fiction novels and essays on music. I want to code beautiful websites. I want to draw silly animated pictures. I want to build a tiny house and tow it across the country. I want to quit my job and start a band. I want to help struggling kids learn to read, learn to do math, learn to think, learn to appreciate the world around them. I want to end every day knowing more than I did when I woke. And sometimes I just want to lay around.

What I am doing with my life is trying feverishly to hold onto those dreams while managing my responsibilities. I'm an adult. Wheeeeeeeeee!

So, yeah, um. I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
I’m really good at
Writing fake menu items for upscale restaurants. Ask me about Food Innovations™ sometime.

Entertaining myself.


Coming up with vocal harmonies for songs with only one vocalist (okay, I might not be THAT GREAT at this, but hey).

I can also do a mean one-handed cartwheel.
The first things people usually notice about me
Many people would probably say eyes or eyelashes or both.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Snow Crash
Cloud Atlas
Harry Potter
The Phantom Tollbooth (oh, formative years)
Currently Reading: Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid

Blade Runner
The Princess Bride

Active Child, Al Green, Alcest, Arcade Fire, Bach, Belle and Sebastian, Boris, Broken Social Scene, Chopin, Daft Punk, Dawnbringer, Death From Above 1979, Deftones, Dinosaur Jr., Disclosure, DJ Shadow, Ford & Lopatin, Frank Ocean, Franz Ferdinand, Grimes, Hercules & Love Affair, In Solitude, Iron Maiden, Japandroids, Jay-Z, Joanna Gruesome, Judas Priest, Junior Boys, Kanye West, LCD Soundsystem, Les Savy Fav, M83, Missy Elliott, My Bloody Valentine, Nachtmystium, Outkast, Passion Pit, Phoenix, Pixies, Rachmaninoff, Radiohead, RJD2, Rogue Wave, Run the Jewels, Smashing Pumpkins, Snowden, The Avalanches, The Flaming Lips, The Fucking Champs, The Go! Team, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, The Shins, The Unicorns, The xx, Torche, TV on the Radio, Vampire Weekend, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and tons more

Bizarre Love Triangle is one of my favorite songs of all time.

I'm not picky in the slightest. I love finding new foodstuffs with which to stuff my face. Take me to your favorite eatery?

Cereal atop ice cream is practically the most glorious combination of comestibles imaginable. If you've never tried it, get on that immediately. I suggest pairing Golden Grahams with Fudge Ripple. A delectable masterwork.

Apples. I will not turn down the chance to try a type of apple I've never tried before.

Also, I like food with plenty of spice and heat.
The six things I could never do without
If I could never again have any of the following six items, I don't think I'd live a very happy life.

1. Black coffee
2. The internet (something on which to browse said internet is implied)
3. A musical instrument (if it's one I don't know how to play, I'll learn)
4. Books of all genres
5. Exercise (I get cranky in the absence of regular exercise)
6. A bit of time alone now and again
I spend a lot of time thinking about
. . . what I need to do to become a better person. How can I be happier and healthier?

Should I be helping people more (the answer is always yes, but I'm selfish)?

Am I spending my time in the best way possible? What can I learn, and how can I learn it?

How do people break free of the narratives they construct for themselves, and how can I?

Why does American culture have such a narrow definition of masculinity?

Also, this:
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 26–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating
You should message me if
. . . well, first of all, you should definitely message me if you want to hear more about Food Innovations™.

But you should certainly message me if you're intrigued by anything you've read here.