Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"But I'm really a writer." I know, you've heard it all before. I
assure you my genius is just waiting to be discovered. Behind the
couch cushions, perhaps.
I sometimes feel guilty about squashing bugs. I often give friends
and family custom-written stories and poems as gifts; ask my mom
about "Bobby and the Kangaroo from Hell: A Mother’s Day Fable."
I've done freelance writing on film for papers and magazines in NYC
and Hong Kong. My shoulders are stained with friends’ tears, but I
don't mind, because they do the same for me. I’ve presided at two
gay weddings, despite no official qualifications. I possess
better-than-the-average-joe knowledge of medieval Arthurian
legends, evolutionary theory, silent movies, Victorian ghost
stories, the Donner Party, ape social structure and communication,
and gender roles in the martial arts genre. I can't dance. I have a
cute nose and toes and a sexy brain, or so I've been told.
I have a noticeable luddite streak. I think mp3 players are the
vilest invention since the iron maiden, and I'm considering
becoming a terrorist/freedom fighter to prevent the wiring of the
subway system for cell phone reception. Someone has to make it
On a not unrelated note, I'm working on being more chilled-out and
more accepting of risk, change and small annoyances in general. And
on rolling my eyes and groaning less when I strongly disagree with
someone's aesthetic tastes.
I like people who include one or two character imperfections in
I was skeptical at first, but have found that answering those cupid
questions or whatever they call them is addictive.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Waiting for the mothership to return.
In the meantime: Enjoying the bottomless pool that is NYC.
Nurturing my friends. Still sorting through and posting online many
of my roughly 2,500 photos from the two vacations to Hong Kong that
I've taken in the last two years. Planning my first trip to
mainland China for this fall.
Working away at various writing projects with Kubrickian, or
perhaps Ellisonian, slowness, but only a fraction of the
Still settling into the new place I moved into last fall.
Hanging with my new cat, joyfully.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
making people do double takes, and then often laugh very, very
I'll make a great crotchety old man. Or so I've been told.
I'm a good kisser. Or so I've been told. Hard to check that
empirically for myself.
The words, sometimes they dance to my tune like rats bewitched by
the Pied Piper. That sentence was probably not a good
I can make fart noises in my kneepits while hopping around the
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm bursting out of a dark alley behind them and to their left
with a 2x4 in my hand.
Other than that...
In the now legendary words of a friend's six-year-old sister, upon
first meeting me: "You BONY!" It's a little less true now that it
was then, but in this country, that still sets one apart quite
My mother recently said to me out of the blue, "Neither one of your
grandfathers did you any favors in the nose department."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Sheesh, this could be a whole website by itself. I probably take
these too seriously, but they kind of take the place of religion
Books: Tolkien; Tim O'Brien's "The Things They Carried"; Ian
McEwan, especially "The Comfort of Strangers"; M.R. James'
"Collected Ghost Stories" (classic ghost stories in general are a
major obsession); "Naked Came the Stranger"; Patricia Highsmith's
Ripley series; the Gossip Girl series; Washington Irving's short
stories, especially "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow"; George R.R.
Martin's "Song of Ice and Fire" series (aka "Game of Thrones"); Sir
Thomas Malory's "Le Morte Darthur"; Tennyson's "Idylls of the
King"; and 400 others, before we even get into the non-fiction
subjects. Film history, general history, religion, folklore and
mythology, popular science, especially biology and evolution. "How
to Think About Weird Things" and Carl Sagan's "The Demon-Haunted
World: Science as a Candle in the Dark" should be issued at birth
to all human beings.
Movies: Hitchcock, Hitchcock and Hitchcock; silent film, especially
Buster Keaton, F.W. Murnau and Fritz Lang; Kieslowski; Scorsese to
the mid-'90s; Woody Allen to the mid-'90s; David Lynch; Asian
cinema, especially Hong Kong, especially martial arts movies,
especially Jackie Chan to the early '90s, Tsui Hark and Lau
Kar-leung; Akira Kurosawa; ; Wong Kar-wai; Hayao Miyazaki; Hou
Hsiao-hsien; Abbas Kiarostami; Apichatpong Weerasethakul; Quentin
Tarantino; horror movies, especially the '30s and '70s; black and
white film noir; Pixar; the obvious Lucases and Spielbergs that
meant a lot to me as a kid; "Blade Runner"; "Don't Look Now";
Music: Beatles; REM; Rufus Wainwright, Loudon Wainwright III,
Martha Wainwright; Richard Thompson; Sam Cooke; '60s Motown; Clay
Aiken; Indigo Girls; Mozart; Bernstein's "Candide"; Sondheim's
"Sweeney Todd"; Thomas Tallis and other Renaissance choral
composers. Always happy to have someone thrust something new on me.
That sounded dirty.
TV: Don't currently have access... such a time-and-money-sucker -
just have a TV for watching DVDs. But, historically and on DVD:
"Twin Peaks"; "Deadwood"; Joss Whedon (Buffy, Angel, Firefly,
etc.); "My So-Called Life"; Letterman; PBS NewsHour; "The Littlest
Bachelor"; "The Simpsons" when it was good; Lars von Trier's "The
Kingdom"; "Community"; "Game of Thrones" (based on Martin, see
Food: Baby brains. I'm an atheist, you know.
Animal: Chimpanzees and bonobos.
Words: aardvark, phlegm, zwounds!, oy vey!, schadenfreude, natural
(in archaic sense of "mentally impaired person").
Nostalgic Smell: Campfire smoke + tent nylon.
Porn-parody title: "Everybody Does Raymond."
Fun game: spot the lies above - there are a few.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Why six? Why not five or three or ten? I've love to be a fly on the
wall at the meetings where they decide these things. Except that
then I couldn't understand anything anyone was saying, because I'd
be a fly. And people might try to swat me.
That said... I dunno, trying to decide which six of my teeth are
the most vital. The bicuspids certainly carry more than their fair
share of the workload.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The next thing I want to write (when I start writing something, I
stop thinking about it much aside from when I'm actually
Carnality and crushes.
Science, religion, and epistemology.
Politics and the seemingly inescapable evils of power no matter
who's got it. Then I get depressed and stop thinking about
How many times is too many to go back and look at someone's dating
profile, given that they can see each time I do.
Whether I'm as good a person as I would like to think I am.
How to get revenge on the drug kingpin who wiped out my family and
stole my father's pair of ancient heirloom swords when I was only a
Whether a golf club would be better than a 2x4.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
screaming "TGIF!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!" while swigging from a bottle of
Bud and shaking my ta-tas all over at a museum or arthouse movie
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I go on dating websites.
And I find a lot of you gals a little intimidating. You're very
attractive. And sharp.
In all seriousness, I get the impression that the women on OKCupid
find the men an unimpressive lot. That's too bad, because I find
the site crawling with interesting, attractive, intelligent and
even remarkable women. Am I just easy? Or are NYC women really that
much better than men? Is a puzzlement.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you liked my profile and think I'm at least kind of cute. And
you're interested in actually meeting up in the very near future
and don't want to spend weeks futzing around with exchanging
And also if your idea of a good time runs more towards walking in
the park or the museum, or lying around reading or watching a movie
or smooching, or a chatty dinner with friends, or a cozy cafe, than
it does towards crowded bars and throbbing nightclubs.
And if you at least appreciate scandalous double-entendres, and
strategic deployments of vulgarity and shock. Even better if you
can engage along with me.
And if you stop in the street to play with strangers' dogs and
babies. And you make up silly words in mid-conversation. And you
have books scattered around on your floor in piles because you
don't have enough shelfspace for them. And you don't use auto-tune.
(None of these are musts, of course. Just general
And if you haven't named an ethnic/racial preference in your
"looking for" description. (Seriously, people. It's the second
decade of the 21st century already.)
If you're not seriously into any particular religion or mystical
If you're curious, and kind, and think you're at least kind of
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.