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29 Philadelphia, PA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21-32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 11:58am
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
5' 9" (1.75m)
Body Type
Average build
Agnosticism and laughing about it
Space camp
Doesn’t have kids but might want them
English (Somewhat), French (Somewhat), Italian (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat), Yiddish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello there! I'm Anthony, and this is my OKCupid profile for people to see and judge me by! Let's gooooo!

I live in a crummy Northeast Philadelphia neighborhood. I will probably die via bullets.
I am socially awkward, super quiet, and painfully shy. I'm a triple threat. Be jealous.
I do try my hardest to connect with others. That's what this profile is for. I don't want to end up a crazy hermit mountain man who lives alone in a least not by myself!

I spend most of my time either at home or at work. I do get out, but it's not as frequent as it once was.
When I do get out, it's usually to eat, see movies, shop, or enjoy free concerts in parks.
Just so it's out there, I don't drive. I have my reasons, but I know that's a deal breaker for some.
I am a man of music and interactive entertainment (video games). These things mean a lot to me.
I have a sense of humor that ranges from corny jokes to the darkest of humor. All accompanied with a Steven Wright deadpan delivery.

I am a living, breathing cartoon character.

I've recently started to sometimes snort when I laugh. I don't know why...just started happening. Evolution, probably.

I'm the winner of the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence.

My hair cannot commit to one popular genre of music.

I'm hoping to meet someone who doesn't care what we're doing, as long as we're doing it together. Someone who can look past or relate to my weirdness and accept me for the quiet dork that I am.
I should also mention that I'm not looking for some short term funnin' around. I'm looking for a long term partner in crime. I'm totally for making friends, and I'm not the type to rush into things, but I am in the market for the best damn relationship this side of the equator. Be aware of that.

Hopefully something above made me sound super rad. If not, there's more insanity to read below!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
By day, I'm working my glamorous full-time retail job. By night, I'm solving mysteries with my hippie friends & their dog. Or sleeping.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Random facts, staying up really late, crafting mix CDs/playlists, making ridiculous meals, listening, alphabetical order, bad impressions, microwaves, spending money, mumbling & keeping it real.

I'm really bad at: long division, smiling, Irish accents, taking compliments, communicating with words, making sense, poker, using an oven & taking directions.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Most of the time, I have crazy hair. I also wear shorts in the dead of winter. And people usually comment me on my choice of t-shirts.

Oh, and there's that whole quiet thing...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm a total media junkie!

Green Day, Less Than Jake, The Clash, Say Anything, Motion City Soundtrack, Beastie Boys (RIP MCA), The Wonder Years, Muse, Oingo Boingo, DEVO, Gorillaz, Mad Caddies, Pink Floyd, Alkaline Trio, Fall Out Boy, Mindless Self Indulgence, Arcade Fire, Off With Their Heads, Tom Waits, The Aquabats!, The Front Bottoms...

(I feel I should also mention I have a fondness for classical and music from the Nineties.)

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Shaun Of The Dead, A Clockwork Orange, The Ring, Pulp Fiction, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Zombieland, Inception, Beetlejuice, The Breakfast Club, Ghostbusters, Inglourious Basterds, Wet Hot American Summer, Jurassic Park, The Matrix, Guardians Of The Galaxy...


The Simpsons, Futurama, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Dexter, Scrubs, Flight Of The Conchords, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Seinfeld, The X-Files, FLCL, Fullmetal Alchemist, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Soul Eater, xxxHolic, BECK, Cowboy Bebop...

(I also love old cartoons. Old like from the 30's and 40's old.)

(Video Games)
Super Mario World, Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4, Sonic The Hedgehog 2, Conker's Bad Fur Day, Silent Hill 3, BioShock Infinite, Rock Band 3, Saints Row The Third, Timesplitters: Future Perfect, Street Fighter Alpha 3, Portal, The Last Of Us, Marvel Vs. Capcom 2: New Age Of Heroes, Grand Theft Auto V, Life Is Strange, Tetris...

(I'm also always down for a frustrating game of Monopoly or a horrible round of Cards Against Humanity.)

Scott Pilgrim, A Clockwork Orange, Gorillaz: Rise Of The Ogre, Ghost In The Shell, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Harley Quinn...

(I just started reading good old fashioned comic books!)

I like food, food tastes good.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My family & friends, of course. My iPod is a must have. Air to breathe would also be nice. Food is also kind of important. And viewers like you.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Life. Squirrels. Life with squirrels.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I don't like this implication that Friday night is special. I've always preferred Tuesday nights.

Regardless, I'm either working or at home. If the planets align, I might spend time with friends outside the home & workplace.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm secretly a ninja. Keep that one in your pocket.

Besides that, I have nothing to hide.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If your idea of fun is marathoning films and/or old fashion couch co-op gaming, then we should be talking already.

And If you can't resist singing Wheatus' "Teenage Dirtbag" whenever it plays, regardless of the time or place, then we're most likely getting married. Deal with it.

But in the end, I'm just a nerdy guy with some (major?) social quirks. A message wouldn't kill ya. Nothing to lose, but possibly something to gain!