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49 New York, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–54
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body type
Strictly anything
Very often
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Banking / Finance
Rather not say
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I was on track to becoming the World's Most Powerful Collateral Manager. I would have been able to amass $3BN in collateral with the snap of my fingers . . .
Technically, aren't people looking for casual sex a subset of people looking for activity partners?
A person who is active on the dating site OK Cupid for 3 hours per day is 94.487228% more likely to find a relationship in the next three months than a person with Guillain-Barré syndrome who is completely paralyzed in a hospital for the next 3 months. This has been precisely calculated. It's math, so STFU . . .
Basically, when all is said and done, I'd like to meet a woman like Portia from Shakespeare's 'Merchant of Venice' or if not that someone living close by who'd want to hang out during the day having sex . . . :-)
I am The Darling of the European Luxury Watch Industry . . . AND I always procrastinate too long between haircuts.

I think the Lawrence Raab poem (below) is an appropriate intro for a dating site profile. The poem has fun with the topics of fear and paranoia as related to romantic connections, and the silly sci-fi imagery could be construed to match up nicely with the wackiness that online dating has introduced into the humans connecting with each other . . .

Even from the beach I could sense it—
lack of welcome, lack of abiding life,
like something in the air, a certain
lack of sound. Yesterday
there was a mountain out there.
Now it’s gone. And look

at this radio, each tube neatly
sliced in half. Blow the place up!
That was my advice.
But after the storm and the earthquake,
after the tactic of the exploding plane
and the strategy of the sinking boat, it looked

like fate and I wanted to say, “Don’t you see?
So what if you’re a famous biochemist!
Lost with all hands is an old story.”
Sure, we’re on the edge
of an important breakthrough, everyone
hearing voices, everyone falling

into caves, and you’re out
wandering through the jungle
in the middle of the night in your negligee.
Yes, we’re way out there
on the edge of science, while the rest
of the island continues to disappear until

nothing’s left except this
cliff in the middle of the ocean,
and you, in your bathing suit,
crouched behind the scuba tanks.
I’d like to tell you
not to be afraid, but I’ve lost

my voice. I’m not used to all these
legs, these claws, these feelers.
It’s the old story, predictable
as fallout—the rearrangement of molecules.
And everyone is surprised
and no one understands

why each man tries to kill
the thing he loves, when the change
comes over him. So now you know
what I never found the time to say.
Sweetheart, put down your flamethrower.
You know I always loved you.

Not to be rude, but is it really intelligent to put on your OK Cupid Profile self-summary a sentence similar to "I'm intelligent," or "I'm smart"? It's kinda like deciding to write a short story and in the beginning saying "this is a fabulously written story" . . .

Like practically every frickin' woman's profile self-summary says "I'm smart" . . . wtf?

I'm not saying you're NOT smart if you've said "I'm smart" in your self-summary . . . I'm just saying . . . it's something to think about . . . and since no doubt you ARE smart, you may wanna do some editing . . .

Also, just as a sort of unsolicited public courtesy (after all, presumably straight women don't read the profiles of other straight women) . . . . are you aware that 96% of all women profiles on here say "I like to travel," and/or "I like to have fun," and/or "My friends tell me I'm ____________ "

It's actually fascinating in such a diverse place as USA (specifically NYC) like EVERY WOMAN puts that in her profile.

I am smart and I
Love to travel and have fun
My friends say I'm ____________


In the course of the "journey" that is reading through the language making up this OKCupid Profile, I will (among other things) offer out an idea of how theoretically a 98.9% Match could be much less meaningful than a 0.00001% Match, and how it is possible for a 0.00001% Match to be the 11-sigma connection of your existence. This is due to a fail in the presuppositions behind the OKCupid Match-%age connection model which does not factor in individuals who are extremely sarcastic when they answer the multiple choice questions.


Digressing from the above to a Scientology analogy, I just continue workin'/answerin' the OKC questions . . trying to eventually break 1,000. Get to some level when they finally tell me about the existence of Thetans or whatever happens when I become a member of the OKC aristocracy . . .

I expect instead I'll be banned from the aristocracy for having pointed out the design flaw . . . Alas, I will never reach a state of CLEAR.


The chances of rhyme are like the chances of meeting—
In the finding fortuitous, but once found, binding:

(unless you got the whole polyamory thing down)

But it's not really true, is it? Otherwise the category "short-term dating" would not exist . . . .

OK, so for whatever it's worth, I do have a quibble with OKC in that the Match/Friend/Enemy percentages aren't granular enough. Even if you have a 0.00001% Match / 0.00001% Friend / 99.99999% Enemy connection with a woman's profile, a guy's still got it in is guy-mind that he's got a chance, no? Buuuut OKC won't let you know that (oh noooo . . . ) . . . it's callously into big round numbers . . .

If the "zigging" convention is to seek that almost Platonic ideal of the 99.999999% match, why couldn't you play as well with a "zagging" counterpoint of discovering your 0.000001% match?

THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!! What if the perfect person for you answered all the questions sarcastically??? Makes ya think, no? That sarcastic answer she gave ("no") to the question "do you enjoy sarcasm?", corresponded to YOUR non-sarcastic "no" answer that lead to the 0.000001% match and you to never imagining the 0.000001% person is that 11-sigma perfect match!!!


Meeting up with a woman for the first time should be like showing up for an important banking or hedge fund job interview. It's important to drench (and I mean DRENCH) oneself in vast amounts of cologne so immediately she smells how excellent and special you are . . . get all the senses workin' for 'ya there . . . like in the opening credits for 'The Twilight Zone' . . .

(I'm not just talkin' AXE body spray . . . I'm talkin' the REALLY good stuff . . . )


Tonight (02/26/2013) Pascaline Lepeltier, Rouge Tomate restaurant's all-time-genius-on-Earth wine director, sold me her absolute last bottle of Clos Roche Blanche sauvignon blanc. So don't even THINK about ranking THIS profile less than 5 stars. Feel ashamed this app. doesn't allow one-off special circumstances where a woman is able to rate a guy about 78 stars . . .


I never fail to be amazed at the irrationality of human animal behavior.

If I message you and you don't reply, don't feel guilty -- I probably forgot I messaged you 5 minutes after messaging you.

(Whoever denies me it shall not trouble me,
Whoever accepts me he or she shall be blessed and shall bless me.)

Are there people who actually go sorting through OKC profiles doling out stars between 1 & 5? They must be the most important people in the world who have been appointed the arbiters of the love lorn . . . Perhaps we'll never meet. But I learned my lessons from Ivy League time-served vis-a-vis grade inflation. You may never fall madly in love with me, but I promise I'll never have given you a B-, C, D or F.

If you have sex before a first date, even if the sex doesn't work out it's still sex. WHEREAS a bad first date has no redeeming social value whatsoever. Just sayin' . . . .
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Business venture with the world's most spectacular business partners.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Thinking outside the box.

I like to cook. I own about 25 cookbooks.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a gianormous head.

大 頭 

大 頭 大 頭,下  雨 不  愁

你 有 雨 傘, 我  有 大  頭
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Reading is vastly over-rated. Why bother when you can just watch Book TV? Keep in mind that in the film 'A Beautiful Mind' (stupid movie, but had its moments), John Nash didn't chide the PhD students who lost out getting the MIT job that they should have read more. He told them they should have paid more attention to first principles.

That said, I realize there is advanced extra-terrestrial intelligence out there which transcends just looking at the pictures in The Robb Report and actually incorporates also reading the articles.

Seriously, though, if you think you're an uber-genius 'cause you read 'The Dialogic Imagination,' come back to me after you've read 'Radon Transforms and the Rigidity of the Grassmannians'.

Also, I have extreme ideas about restaurants and food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1.) Living across the street from Columbia.
2.) Wine recommendations from Pascaline Lepeltier, the Rouge Tomate resident wine-genius-on-Earth
3.) Ridiculously scary-smart friends
4.) My frequent bat shit crazy ideas
5.) Kurumazushi
6.) Facebook
7.) only offering the exact officially designated number of answers requested in OKC Profile questions
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The fact that the world is so incredibly screwed up and the hewmans tend not to be paying attention.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
A lot of women in NYC seem to have a similar trading position -- they are long dating and short dates. [1] It's sorta similar to 2008 when all the hedge funds hired Ecole Normale super geniuses to bulid them mathematically beautiful, unique models that resulted in all the hedge funds having the exact same positions.

I'm not interested in doing a lot of dating.

[1] in "Wall Street lingo," being short something means you hate it, being long something means you love it. So what that phrase is suggesting is that when you're on a date with a woman and you ask her, "how often do you date?" and she replies "4 times per week, I hate it." she's actually not completely accurate in communicating the position of her book. She hates the dates, not the dating.

I actually tend to like the dates, but the dating is fairly exhausting. So by extension I guess that means I'm worth investing in as a hedge . . . .

So don't think of messaging me as messaging an OKC Profile . . . think of it as investing in a cool hedge fund that doesn't charge management fees or performance fees.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Well . . . I could share with you my dreams, but the ones I usually remember involve my teeth falling out of my mouth in giant rotten chunks or the final exam for the class I forgot I had registered for and thus hadn't been attending all semester at Columbia is in 30 minutes and I'm walking around campus naked . . .


I had coffee with this friend of mine who is a hedge fund manager the other day, and he was super depressed.

"Why are you so down," I asked him?

"My therapist just told me I have a multiple personality disorder," he said back to me.

"Really? That's pretty rare, I thought?"

"Yeah, but in my case it's even worse. The multiple equals zero."

-- only joke I ever invented


Woof woof woof woof woof
Not on the ROOF!! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!
Yelp! Yelp! Yelp! Yelp! H E L P !!!

-- haiku I wrote about Romney's poor dog
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

I hear my being dance from ear to ear.

You're actually interested in having real connections with people and aren't more interested in the dancing over the dancer.

If you're someone who loves to talk about "how busy" you are, please don't bother contacting me. The year my ex-girlfriend billed 3,800 hours at a Wall Street law firm she never once, ever said she was busy; so (trust me) you're not that busy. If you like Le Bernardin or David Chang restaurants, don't message me. If you think David Chang's sea urchin with whipped tofu and bubble tea bubbles is a genius culinary creation, or you are willing to stand in line at Momofuku Ssam bar for an hour to get a table or a seat at the bar, please go live in a hole in Montana like Ted Kaczynki. If you love the restaurant Nobu, do NOT contact me. If you've ever tried to dissolve freshly grated wasabi in soy sauce, don't contact me. Also, if you've ever bought anything at a Thomas Pink boutique, don't bother contacting me. DO NOT message me if you have ever bought yourself or worn a pair of Ferragamo shoes. Also I have a pathological irrepressible hatred of management consultants . . . what I'm saying is . . . this strictly applies to whether you are currently a management consultant or have ever been a management consultant. Just do the world a favor and end yourself as quickly as possible (or get one of your management consultant "colleagues" to "counsel you out" of existing).

But just to get back to the topic sentence in the previous paragraph, I don't care if you're a frickin' 3rd year associate at Wachtell and are sleeping in your office . . . don't ever talk about "how busy" you are. Yu-Na Kim doesn't do her skating routines to a sound track on which she talks about how difficult it was to have just done that triple toe loop. If you can't make everything look easy, you're less than nothing.