If you'd be interested in hearing a sample of my radio show, click on this. It will give you a reasonable idea about how my mind works.
I do a lot of sideways thinking which is why my profile is the way it is. Here's what I ponder.
1-Do you think that King Kong's hairdresser is Vidal Baboon?
2-Do you think that Alexander Graham Bell Polanski was our first telephone pole?
3-Is your favorite seafood dish Salmon Rushte?
4-Is your favorite seafood dish piano tuna?
5-Have you ever crossed 50 female pigs with 50 male deer and gotten 100 sows and bucks?
6-Are you so ecology minded that you only use low lead pencils?
(What did one pencil say to the other pencil? Right on)
7-Have you ever thought that if there was a strike at the Caterpillar factory, there would be a shortage of butterflies next summer?
8-Do you think that Rosanne Barr should be declared our 51st state?
9-When someone asks your birth sign, do you say "railroad crossing"?
10-Have you ever dated a guy from Montana who was a real Butte?
11-Do you think that eskimos get polaroids?
12-Are your favorite foreign languages, French, Russian, Italian and oil and vinegar?
13-Have you ever thought that if Cher performed with her twin sister, the act would have to be called Cher and Cher alike?
14-Have you ever thought that the reason that John Lennon and Yoko Ono got married was so they could have Japanese Beatles?
15-If you were a cartoonist and jealous of Charles Schultz's work, would it be known as Peanuts envy?
16-Have you ever thought that if you were feeling Goofy, you should leave Disneyworld immediately?
17-Have you ever thought that if the Clampett's dog on the Beverly Hillbillies was run over by a truck and served at a fast food restaurant, it would be known as Patty Duke?
18-Have you ever thought that if the Bee Gees are from Wales, why don't they have a blow hole?
19-Have you ever wondered why Oral Roberts couldn't teach his dog to heal?
20-Did you think that Mr. Ed and Wilbur had a stable relationship?
21-Have you ever thought that if Ronnie Howard made a movie about the Dutch, it would be known as Mr. Opie's Holland?
22-Have you ever said to Siamese ornathologists, I really like your cockatoo?
23-If you threw a pre wedding party for your girl friend and everybody at the party smoked dope, would they all be known as shower heads?
24-Have you ever thought that if you read "On Golden Pond", you would Thoreau up?
25-Have you ever thought that if Bullwinkle had an African American girl friend, she might be a chocolate mousse?
26-Have you ever thought that your typewriter was pregnant because it skipped a period?
27-Have you ever thought that the head of the California Lettuce Grower's Association was Romaine Polanski?
28-Have you ever thought that the Wright brothers couldn't have oriental parents because two Wongs don't make a Wright?
29-Do you think that Don Ho was the name of a prostitude in the movie the Godfather?
30-When you wash your hair, do you use shampoo or real poo?
31-Have you ever thought that a cross eyed school teacher would have trouble keeping her pupils straight?
32-Have you ever thought that Tarzan could be an addict because he always had a monkey on his back?
33-Have you ever tried to write a drinking song but, couldn't get past the first two bars?
34-Have you ever thought that if a cowboy's horse stopped, he might be having injun trouble?
35-Have you ever thought that you should take a job in a bakery because you kneaded the dough?
36-Have you ever thought that a cannibal who consumed his mother's sister would be an aunt eater?
37-Have you ever thought that Tarzan should never play cards with his monkey because his monkey may be a cheetah?
38-If a camel can go for ten days without drinking water, how long would he go if he drank some?
39-If you made a breakfast cereal out of chopped parakeets, would it be called "Shredded Tweet"?
40-Why do interior decorators walk like that?
41-Is it my imagination or does George W. Bush's mother look like George Washington?
42-Among all athletes, do basketball players make the worst lovers because they dribble before they shoot?
43-If you crossed a parrot and Vincent Van Gogh, would you get a bird that would talk your ear off?
44-If Fedex and UPS merged, would the new company be called Fedup?
45-If Harriet Beecher Stowe married Napoleon Bonaparte, would her name be Harriet Beecher Bonaparte?
46-If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, would her name be Ella Vader?
47-If you had venereal disease of the nose, would you have a case of snifilous?
48-What would happen if Tiger Woods putter malfunctioned?
49-If one rodent saved another rodent from drowning, would the one rodent give the other rodent mouse to mouse resuscitation?
50-If McDonalds had a hamburger called the Hearstburger, would nobody buy it if the patty was missing? (dated material)