The most cynically optimistic person you'll ever meet.

Writing. TV. Triathlons. Yoga. The Trevor Project. Running. The New Normal. Taking the high road. Making it look like I'm taking the high road. Intellectualizing. Swimming. Chauffeuring the drunk. Tough Mudder. Happy Endings, the show not the massage. Instagramming pictures of my infant niece. Wonkette. Flying trapeze class. And, right this second, Downton Abbey.

Avoiding questions like this.
Listening.
Not Making It About Me.
Empathy.
Headstands.
Unconsciously memorizing song lyrics.
Pragmatism.
Overcommitting.

I'm taller than you thought, friendlier than you expected but then slightly more caustic than I initially let on.

David Sedaris, Chuck Klosterman, Nick Hornby, Kurt Vonnegut, Augusten Burroughs, and The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. Election, Jackie Brown (and all things Tarentino), American Beauty, North by Northwest, West Side Story, The Social Network, Shakespeare in Love, Scott Pilgrim and Showgirls. 30 Rock, Parks & Rec, Downton Abbey, Homeland, Archer, Happy Endings, Awkward, Arrested Development, Rachel Maddow, South Park, Veep, Newsroom and the gospel according to Jon Stewart.

Packing my tri bag and setting my alarm to jump into the ocean on Saturday. Trying in vain to talk over a dance remix. Watching Monday-Thursday's DVR backlog. Wondering why I'm still at work.

you've had enough of Grindr for today; if you play beach volleyball; if you can quote Arrested Development; if you know what scorpion pose is; if you cried when Obama was reelected; if you can handle frequent bouts of verbose philosophy and celebrity snarking; or if you just want to go on a really good date.