I am currently married to my darling wife who I met through this very webstie (midnightwest if you're curious), So I am not looking for any one for the dating. However, I happen to think that OKCupid works as a fabulous social networking site, so I plan to remain active on here if I can, since it would be really nifty to expand my circle of friends. So if my wife and I sound like folks you'd like to hang out with, drop me a line!

I recognize that this isn't much of a bio here, but I think the rest of my profile does a good job of "summarizing" me.

I am acerbic, jocular, and colossal

Currently I am substitute teaching in the Glendale Unified School District. It is a job that I really love, it's the best part of teaching (the teaching part) with none of the incredibly tedious grading, and often bothersome lesson-planning. In theory I'm supposed to be going back to school to get my credential soon, but I'm starting to question whether I want to be a teacher, much as I love teaching itself.

I live in a nice house that I rent with my Girlfriend and my best friend from High School and his Girlfriend. We have a great time here, and I'm hoping that we get to renew our lease through 2010.

I've been told I give excellent massages (back, shoulders, neck, head, arms and feet). However, I cannot personally attest to this, for rather obvious reasons. Well, I guess I'll rub my own feet, but you know that's not the same thing.

I'm also quite proud to generally get recognized as a man of wit, cracking wise with an excellent sense of timing. Though my sense of humour certainly runs to biting and sarcastic, though also frequently to the bizarre. In a similar vein, I fancy myself quite good at telling stories, not necessarily making them up (though I am a notorious "embellisher of the truth") but certainly in relating anecdotes, jokes, or stories I have read

I would consider myself to be a fairly good cook, particularly in a well-stocked (both in terms of hardware and pantry) kitchen. I can follow a recipe expertly, but certainly know enough to improvise or springboard off of one if the situation calls for it. In my own woefully small and ill-equipped kitchen, I can usually throw together a palatable meal from what I keep on hand, but someday I plan to have a large and full kitchen.

This is easy; I am a large individual. 6'5" hardly makes me the tallest person out there, but it's enough that most folks feel inclined to comment in some form or another. Perhaps because in addition to my height I am, shall we say, solidly built. I'm not going to be entering any "World's Strongest Man" contests anytime soon, but I am the person called when friends have a refrigerator to move.

Other then this, I have received many a compliment on my rather vividly blue eyes. Something that I really need to get a photo of on here, perhaps I shall borrow a digital camera in the near future.

As mentioned previously, I am also known for my keen banter and ability as a raconteur. Though I'm unsure whether this is something that people notice about me immediately or only after a time.

I recognize that this section is rather obscenely long, but frankly I think it really ends up saying a lot about a person. Someone's favorites usually say a lot more about them then any self-written blurb. Though, I think a list of hated things might be just as good if not better... perhaps I will add that at some point.

I don't read nearly as much as I should. I love to read, but I tend to do it in large chunks. Over a vacation I'll put away a book or two, then the rest of the time I'll trudge through something over the course of a month or two. I usually read Science Fiction and or Fantasy type books, but I'm looking to read some more of the *classics*. Books that I've read in the last few years and enjoyed include His Dark Materials trilogy, Lord of the Rings Trilogy (yes yes, I was quite the latecomer to reading it), Lest Darkness Fall, Alternate Kennedys, Slaughterhouse Five, Cat's Cradle (need to read more Vonnegut), Heroes in Hell, Roma Eterna, 10 little Indians (need to remember to get more Agatha Christie, To Your Scattered Bodies Go, and Torture by Edward Peters (the only non-fiction book here). My Girlfriend has gotten me onto the Xanth series, and I find those to be quite diverting. I also enjoy many comics and graphic novels, though which ones I read is a little sporadic, I'm only now getting around to Neil Gaiman's Sandman series (and really need to get more of his books). I adored Watchmen and V for Vendetta. I am a tremendous fan of Batman but I basically just read collections, so I'm never up-to-date on the comics. Similarly, I was completely into Runaways until I got really bad about getting the new ones as they came out and am now at least a year behind.

I love movies. Favorite movies include Darkman, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back (Return of the Jedi is decent enough), Young Frankenstein, Reefer Madness: The Musical, Idiocracy (For the record, I consider Idiocracy as MUST-SEE), Fellowship of the Ring, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Braveheart, Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, Batman Begins, Batman, Evil Dead 2, Army of Darkness, The Great Escape, Alien, Aliens, Fido, Full Metal Jacket, Dr. Strangelove, The Princess Bride, Citizen Kane (I was surprised how much I liked it), Grave of the Fireflies, The Name of the Rose, Brazil, The Incredibles, The Happiness of the Katakuris, Time Bandits, Reservoir Dogs, Secretary, Somewhere in Time, Six String Samurai, Pulp Fiction, Rashomon, Ran, The Hidden Fortress, Shaun of the Dead, Kind Hearts and Coronets, The Dark Crystal, The Hudsucker Proxy, The Man Who Would be King... God probably a ton more, but I think this gives a fairly accurate sample. I'll likely add anything else that comes to mind whenever it does.

I'll also throw in favorite TV Shows here. Above all Farscape, if I could just watch one TV show again, it might be this. But also very good: Good Eats, Doctor Who (Especially the new series, but I am slowly working my way through the original as well), Stargate SG-1, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Heroes (the first season anyway, sigh), Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The Muppet Show, Batman The Animated Series, Penn & Teller's Bullshit, Mythbusters, The Venture Brothers, Harvey Birdman, Sealab 2021, The Simpsons, Family Guy, The Critic, South Park (tends to be seriously hit or miss but is fantastic at times), Black Adder, Father Ted, and Mystery Science Theater 3000. As with movies, I'll likely keep adding to this as I think of it.

I am not a huge music person. It is not an essential component of my life (save for working out, where it is like cardio fuel). I certainly enjoy a variety of music, but it generally falls into 2 categories: Working out to or singing along while driving. My radio is invariably set to Classic Rock or Oldies, and I own only a handful of CD's, by the following artists: Rogue Traders, Great Big Sea, The Red Elvises, The Bilge Pumps, Weird Al Yankovic, Moxy Fruvous, Scissor Sisters, and Bare Naked Ladies. I'll listen to almost anything someone else puts on, I just don't own a lot personally. In what is likely a related oddity: I have never had a song stuck in my head.

Food, I like a wide variety of cuisines and am more then willing to try anything new. My particular favorite has been Thai food for some time now, and can actually cook several dishes if properly equipped with the tools and ingredients (mmmm... Fish sauce). Other favorites include Indian Curries and Japanese tempura, udon and sushi.

1. Water, yes, I know everyone needs water, but this is different. I'm not actually being asinine and literal with the question (notice it says "do" not "live" without). I drink a gallon of water basically every day, and a jug is my constant companion. I'm not sure what I would do if my abundant supply ran out, I fear it may force me to leave Southern California someday. Hopefully it will be after the apocalypse, when hardships are to be expected.
2. Department stores such as Target. I love shopping. That's right I said it, and I will crush the skull of any man that calls me names for it.
3. A Car. This is ironic, since I actually waited much longer then most people to get my license. But now I wonder how I got along without it, Los Angeles is so splayed out that I don't know if I'd ever see anyone I know without one. By the way, I do mean any car. I am so entirely not a "car guy," I just need a reliable means of transportation. I imagine I could actually do just fine without one in a place designed for public transport.
4. A good weight set. I used to own a small gym's worth of equipment, but had to sell it as I had no room anymore . I belong to a local gym, so that's almost as good. Still, someday I will totally have my own gym setup along with an awesome kitchen.
5. King Size Bed. Seriously, I already have to sleep at a slightly skewed angle to fit on my mattress. I would not be a happy camper on something smaller. Also, this should definitely be a very comfortable king size mattress. My current one is quite nice, but I hope to upgrade to an even nicer one in a few years.
6. Other People. I know, it always strikes me as a bit of a cop-out, but without other people most of the things I'm good at become rather pointless. It's not really witty if you're talking to a sock puppet.

Things that I hate. Anyone who knows me will attest to the truth of this. I regularly visit feministing.com, youaredumb.net and crooksandliars.com (all of which I love) because of the horrifying things they show me. I also check out townhall.com and US WEEKLY (the tabloid) (which I love in that sarcastic way that means I hate it) because of the horrifying things it shows me. Actually, while some of my friends have likened this to the "intellectual equivalent of cutting," the fact is I do enjoy thinking about, analyzing and (especially) discussing politics, differing ideologies, and the culture we live in. I suppose I spend a lot of time thinking about the things I like to talk about, and I do like to converse with other folks.

Hrrrmmm... typical Friday night. Well, I enjoy recuperating on Fridays after work. So many times that involves staying in and watching something or reading or some such. Though I certainly enjoy company for such things, and will go out to visit others, or try and entice them to my place. But Fridays I generally go very low-key. Of course, in general I go low-key. Give me a small gathering of friends with cocktails and conversation over a typical party any day. I'd much rather see a film or a play then go to some club with deafening music.

I've never broken up with someone. I've only been in three real relationships of consequence (one lasting 2 or 3 years another about 1, and my current) and both times I was absolutely head over heels in love and she broke it off. Incidentally I'm actually very good friends with both of them, though it naturally took some serious time apart. I think it is foolish to try and remain friends immediately following the end of a serious relationship, but it is definitely possible after a while. Additionally, each of them was a good friend of mine before we started going out, and I very much liked that. The idea of a relationship developing from friendship is preferable to me then the typical notions of dating.

You enjoy talking. Honestly, more then anything I like people that I enjoy having conversations with, about a wide variety of topics. I've always found the notion that you should "never talk politics or religion" on a first date to be absurd. Unless your goal is simply a mercenary one of sex, why wouldn't you want to see how your core beliefs synced up? Even if you disagree on things, if you're both of a reasonable intelligence you should be able to get along/have an engaging discussion, and if you can't then isn't any real relationship doomed anyway? Also, as I said right up front, I am currently not "on the market" (as I pretend the cool kids would say), so am only looking for people interested in chatting and whatnot.

Seriously, the Misses and I would love to meet new fascinating people in the Simi area.