A self- summary always seems like I’m drawing attention to myself. This is counterintuitive as I’m an introverted kind of guy (INTJ). I’ve been through a lot of shit and have in turn thought of myself as the eye of a hurricane anthropomorphized. I cuss liberally. I’ve always considered it a benchmark of a truly honest person. From the most pious nun to the bluest of collared worker, everyone enjoys the word “shit” appropriately placed.
I’m not exactly a small talk kind of person. It’s kind of the bane of my existence. Even with the starts of okcupid conversations, I’d rather just get down to business. With me it’s never about the weather. I always want to know more about a person. People fascinate me to a point where I look on humanity as a human zoo. When emotions cloud judgment, rationality easily flies out the window. I guess you could say it’s a good look at the animal instinct underlying. The biological imperative of self- preservation kicks in and conscious choices are only retroactively termed as such. In actuality they’re made from the unconscious mind as seen in the Libet experiment…
None of this is at all related to a self- summary! See what I mean. Fuck! That’s what it is to be with me. Get ready for conversations about meaningful shit. Or at least what I would consider meaningful. It’s most likely never going to be about sports. “Who’s winning the match”- Derek Zoolander is an apt quote. Growing up I wanted to be a cosmologist, anthropologist, psychologist, interior designer, graphic designer, illustrator, art historian to name just a few interests. I’ve always had an equal portion of left and right braininess. I prize creativity and logic amongst whatever else I am. I love thinking of incredibly romantic things and then planning how to see them through. The more required of me, the more I have to give. It’s just my nature.
I always go all in when I’m with someone. I never have one foot out the door keeping my options open. “That’s suicide by tiny, tiny increments.”- Rob Gordon High Fidelity. The grass is never greener. Most people don’t know what they want in life. They go from person to person trying to figure themselves out, while all along the way they’ve been a human wrecking ball. A trail of devastation left in their wake can be swept under the rug with the words “I’m only human, nobody’s perfect”. I only ask that people be accountable for themselves. I hold myself to a high standard. I would do no less for you, whoever you are. I’m a serial monogamist who will always try.
Art is a huge part of my life. I paint mostly acrylic these days, but am looking forward to branching out into a mixing of mediums. I love to sing. I sing at random when something pops in my head walking down the hall on my way in to work, in my department, for my patients, on my way out, at home, in the car, shower etc. I. Love. To. Sing. Please be ok with this. I’ll even sing a sentence I just said aloud just to make up a small song to the words. I’ve done karaoke far too few times for how much I enjoy it. Maybe we could do it sometime?