Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

Guiles_Theme

30 M Chester, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:04am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
One man, alone, betrayed by the country he loves... now their last hope in their hour of need.

I work for a megaconglomorate shopping chain and produce a webcomic in my spare time. More "facts" below-

I like wearing slippers but can't wear a dressing gown for more than half an hour.
My bedroom is a mess but I know where most things are (unless it's something I need for work).
I have five pets but four of them are the same species.
I once tried to start a conversation with a female, and it started the Gulf War. Since then I use carrier pigeons only.
Dogs are wary of me, since I remind them of themselves, but walking on hind legs.
If I ever come across as witty or eloquent, it's probably an evil doppelganger and you should call the police.
If found outside in the sun, please return to a darkened area and apply lukewarm water to the soles of the feet.
Currently working on a semi-autobiographical Homeric epic entitled- 'Why Every (Ginger) Woman I Ever Loved Was A Lesbian'.
If you can duet the entirety of 'Magic Dance' from Labyrinth with me, you receive a cool decoder ring and 3d glasses.

Things I am or Have Been Told I Resemble-
More sarcastic than a bag full of Chandlers.
Old slash grey.
Weird.
Neurotic.
Normal.
Boring.
An Epic-Level hypocrite.
Marginally amusing in the correct light.
Tall.
Short.
Photogenic from the front.
Hilarious from the side.
Probably most definitely likely to not succeed or only vaguely try to.
Adaptive accent syndrome boy.
Fairly clean nails.... for a man.

You'd think by now any cogent individual in his thirties could deal adequately with things like rejection, affectation, numerous other 'ions. A life less lived.
What I’m doing with my life
We were lovers for a while, of course...
But time goes by, like wine, like autumn leaves that tumble one by one into the Seine... and one day I came home and found her gone.
En France, which is to say, in France, we have a saying: A Bientot.
See you soon. And so, that is, or even that might be, if and so is right-- we come to this.
I’m really good at
Hurling dangerous objects into space where they can never harm anyone again. Thermonuclear warfare. Common-or-garden warfare. Spreading rumours about myself, to myself.
The first things people usually notice about me
I am not a nice man. If I were an ice cream, the flavour would be Pralines and Dick.
Genuinely and consistently described as creepy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Here's a list of bands I am listening to in the recent times.
Woods Of Ypres, Tiamat, Nile, M83, Storm Corrosion, Anathema, Anekdoten, No-Man, Coheed and Cambria, Ladytron, Novembers Doom, and, obviously, Porcupine Tree.
New stuff this month... Riverside, Sylvan, Midlake, In Mourning.
More new/old stuff- Paradise Lost, Eluveitie, Red House Painters, older Anekodten albums that I don't think were on Spotify six months ago. And how the shit did I miss out David Bowie? He's the feckin Goblin King!
Gazpacho!
The six things I could never do without
Books
Games
Pets
Contact lenses
Music
Help
On a typical Friday night I am
Working or conquering Rome/the 41st millennium/the Ostfront
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I googled the end of breaking bad as a deterrent to people nagging me to watch it. Success, yo.
Also, not had sexual intercourse in five years. Virginity has grown back. Plz send help.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
JUST DON'T. S'bad, kay.
My thirty-year obsession with ginger lesbians has come to an end. Ygritte, we never knew ye.