GuineaPigC is a silly man who thinks refering to oneself in the third person is highly overrated. Before you get any mistaken notions as to the whole guinea pig handle, it has no bearing on my sexual preferences, you dirty minds. When Buckminster Fuller (neat fella, you should google him) began a series of life-long experiments and exercises in self-improvement he often referred to himself as Guinea Pig B. That's the why behind the handle.

Other than that, I'm a typical geek. Just don't expect me to know everything about Star Trek or anything: the geekiness is kept under lock and key along with the esoteric non sequiturs... unless I really think you would get it.

The Potato is my Spirit Vegetable. I say this since I'm not averse to the dark and I'm sure with the appropriate wiring I could power a clock.

According to Myers-Briggs personality sorter I'm one of those rare INTPs. From what I can tell it seems to indicate I'm reasonably intelligent yet absorbed in thoughts other than what is going on around me. I can identify with that seeing as how every year or so I find myself staring down at my untied shoelaces muttering, "How did these go again?" Humbling experience I can assure you.

I am not a cabbage, not an adjective, and amused

Currently working full time at $Big_Tech_Co and taking night classes hoping to finish up school. Always looking for a means to relieve stress. Stress relief these days comes in the form of cycling. I've been reading up on bike maintenance and repair and have just finished rebuilding an old 3-speed for cruising around town. For my next project I think I'll learn how to ride a unicycle.

- Being left to my own devices. I'm really good at this. Too good in fact, hence this profile you are reading on this particular site.

- Making random succinct observations.

- Wandering around and getting lost for hours at a time.

- Making my nephew smile. He's only six months old so it's not terribly hard.

- Making myself look like a total goofball on Online Personality Profiles. Join me! It's fun!

I don't speak. It usually takes a while to warm to new people. Once I get to know someone the shell comes off.

A.) "Godel, Escher, Bach: The Eternal Golden Braid" by Douglas Hofstadter; "The Illuminatus! Trilogy" by Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea; "Why Buildings Fall Down" by Mario Salvadori; "The Shape of Time" by George Kubler; "The Joke" by Milan Kundera; "Simulacra and Simluation" by Jean Baudrillard; Anything featuring Clifford the big red dog. "Quicksilver" by Neal Stephenson. I just finished "The Sugar-Frosted Nutsack" by Mark Leyner and don't let the title fool you: it's awesome.

B.) Mainstream movies are okay I guess but I typically tend to more indie and art house selections. I also grew up watching MST3K so on occasion I like to watch some absolute crap for a giggle. Looking over at my collection I guess it's fair to say that I enjoyed: "Schizopolis", "True Stories", "Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead", "Attack the Gas Station", "Cannibal!: The Musical", "Dr. Stranglove", "Putney Swope", "Big Fish", "F for Fake", "Ikiru" and Hal Hartley films.

C.) Firewater, Negativland, B. Hamilton, Wye Oak, Polyphonic Spree, the Flaming Lips, Cop Shoot Cop, Souls Coughing, Eleni Mandell, the Eels, Ozomatli, Senor Coconut, Steel Pole Bath Tub, Mudhoney, Dead Kennedys, Dropkick Murphys, the Scofflaws, the Bouncing Souls, Stubborn All-Stars, Wire, Dresden Dolls, Arcade Fire, Blue Meanies, Barkmarket, Wye Oak, B. Hamilton

D.) the edible kind, but mostly Burmese and Thai with the occasional mad craving for something greasy.

I'm going to completely bypass this by merely saying Planet Earth. I really can't see myself doing all that well without it. Maybe some day I'll be able to ween myself from my addiction to this bit of dirt but I don't think I'm cut out for giving it up just yet.

Now what's really interesting is I just looked my own profile up and found that I have a 96% chance of being a good match for myself and a 95% chance of being a really good friend to myself. Apparently I'm not 100% compatible with myself as a lover (let's not go there) and less so as a friend (Hey!). Not sure what to make of that.

Every now and then in my spare time I try and mull over a plan for world domination that does not include killer robots, clone armies, doomsday devices or some such wild plot. The one I have going right now might even work if I had funds/ambition to implement it.

Every now and again I get the feeling that someone somewhere is reading this because I was at the top of their "likely matches" list and are probably having a good scare about now and possibly wondering what that could mean about them.

Keeping the wheels churning. All play and no work makes no jack at all.

I own an inflatable sheep. It was a gag gift. No, it's never been used. Here's hoping it doesn't come down to that.

Also, it should be noted that I spent a recent evening watching a documentary about the Helvetica typeface and was absolutely enthralled from start to finish.

Let's be honest here: If you are like 99.9% of the women on this site, you won't (thank god). Surprise me.

You wear an XL size hat. You have a sneaking suspicion that you might not be 100% compatible with yourself either. If you have a compatibility rating of over 96% (read: you have the potential to be a better friend to me than I can) don't bother as you are in all probability a theoretical construct. Sorry I'm a bit biased, I prefer real folks.

P.S. You do realize that when they ask you for the most private thing you are willing to admit they are asking for that first thing you will ADMIT to that comes after all all the things you won't. The implication being that there is a threshold. Therefore an answer of "No" is not what was being asked for. It's sad that so many women here harp on the proper usage of "their", "there" and "they're" yet fail at basic reading comprehension.