Right, well, my name is James and this is my profile.

In short, I like strange music, obscure movies, and weird people. But the mundane is OK in moderation.

I like ranting bad epigrams. We should spend more time with bubble wrap. I think I think too much. Death's inevitability is better than alcohol for building courage. I enjoy making people's eyes roll, if they do it with with a hidden smile. Nothing's more satisfying than making someone laugh when they don't want to. I wonder if people read this entire paragraph, or just the beginning and end. The Internet is serious business. I keep flirting with the idea of growing an obnoxious mustache. I don't know what I want, but I have a good idea of others want. When you close your eyes, I disappear. I appreciate the lack of absolutes in this world. Every Sigur Ros music video has made me tear up. I balance my imbalances pretty well. I wish lifting weights wasn't so boring. I tend to read magazine articles backwards for some reason. I'm irrationally empathetic to anthropomorphic entities (Translation: Sad teddy bears make me sad). High fructose corn syrup is for the lazy. I'm a sucker for anything with "meta" preceding it. Very few people have seen me get angry. The way to my heart is through my ears. I'm just as insecure as you are. I expect I'll reach Nirvana before I reach Heaven. I've only voted for third-party candidates. childunit and gimmiemyspotlite are my homies 4 lyfe who, like me, are too cool for the old-fashioned dating scene in the meatspace. You can take my grammar from my cold dead hands. My favorite words are plenty, megalopolis, tequila, monkey, and potato. There's actually an intricately hidden code in my profile if you decipher it correctly. Now, I've got things to wrench.

I just graduated from UCI majoring in Informatics. It's totally radical, believe me. We study COMPUTERS!!! I'm freelancing right now, making websites for friends and strangers alike.

I've also been doing Shotokan Karate for about 8 years. Spiders still scare me, though.

I'm also familiar with rock climbing, mountain biking, off-roading, sailing, and marksmanship. Yeah, I liked to climb trees as a kid.

I'm really good at faking confidence.

But I guess I'm an OK conversationalist given the right topic, I can drive stick rather well, and my Karate skills are surpassed only by those better than me. I'm also good at cooking, charades, board games, and video games. Seriously, I'm a savant when it comes to video games. I haven't bought a console since the Dreamcast, but I could beat your ass at your favorite video game within 20 minutes of learning the controls. You dare deny my powers?! *throws turtle shell through monitor*

I'm really skilled at a few other things, but a public profile isn't the best place to reveal them.

"Hey! Where'd you get that weird accent?"

"Um... I don't know?"

"You say 'Um I don't know' funny!"

"Your point?"

"You say 'Your poi- OW MY CROTCH, YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE CROTCH"

(A) Chuck Palahniuk is fun, Kurt Vonnegut is awesome, and Franz Kafka makes me frown on the outside and smile on the inside. Hubert Selby Jr. makes me frown on the outside and sob uncontrollably on the inside. Douglas Adams is mostly harmless fun, too. As for comic boo-, er, I mean graphic novels, Arkham Asylum, Azumanga Daioh, Calvin and Hobbes, Excel Saga, The Far Side, V for Vendetta, and anything by Jhonen Vasquez is good reading/lookin' at. xkcd.com is my favorite webcomic of all time, it fills me with squishy happy feelings.

(B) My top three: Pi, Oldboy, and Network. Notable consideration: Grave of the Fireflies, Airplane!, Pulp Fiction, 300, The Thin Man series, Tetsuo, The Big Lebowski, Seven Samurai, Dr. Strangelove, Shaun of the Dead, Run Lola Run, Waking Life, and anything by Don Hertzfeldt or Hayao Miyazaki.

(C) Any genre, as long as it's good. Examples: Radiohead, Explosions in the Sky, Dragon Ash, Lambchop, Ghostface Killah, Yoko Kanno, Vivaldi, My Morning Jacket, Mum, E Nomine, The (International) Noise Conspiracy, Twilight Singers, My Bloody Valentine, Sigur Ros, Brian Eno, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, X-Japan, Spritualized, The Zombies, Shakkazombie, Modest Mouse, Corporate Love Breakdown, Ill Bill, Nina Simone, Buckethead, Melt-Banana, Regina Spektor, and other bands you've likely never heard of. My elitist taste > your proletariat taste.

(D) Gum! Sushi! Doughnuts! Fishies! Boba! Red meat! Candy! Ice water! Or any combination thereof. Lately, due to cooking at home and dieting, I've mostly been nomming chicken in various marinades, Kashi or Special K cereal, asparagus, raisins, and fruit protein shakes. MMMMM DIET!

(E) Mitch Hedberg, Bill Hicks, Brian Reagan, Maria Bamford, Slovin & Allen, Zack Galifianakis, Dave Chappelle, Lewis Black, Louis CK, the African-American voice in my head, Margaret Cho, Jim Gaffigan, Eddie Izzard, Patton Oswald, Henry Rollins, and Steven Wright.

(F) F is for flapjacks.

1. Constant stimulus.

2. A beverage at arm's reach.

3. A place I can call my Dojo.

4. People who disagree with me.

5. A big dumb dog lounging around.

6. Spinal column.

7. Rules to break and norms to shatter. (Hardcore, eh? Eh? EH?!)

Whenever I hear a song, I always imagine a movie scene that would go great with it. I've got a string of unmade movies planned out in my head already.

I think way too much about the murky philosophical topics like morality, free will, spirituality, and desire. Word of advice: Don't ask me questions on these subjects unless you want a long clumsy ramble. Ask instead about cereal or fuzzy mammals. Those are hard to segue into nihilism.

I'm rather mercurial.

I've been more social lately, so I'm actually most likely hanging out with friends, doing the video game samba and other dorkeqsue activities.

If not, I'm probably cataloging my music, doing some miscellaneous programming, or eating a food. I like food. Food is good.

I'm illiterate.

Because you'll die one day and you'll regret not messaging me.

I'm always happy to see that little mail icon get all shiny and pink. I'm not terribly active on this site, so you're more likely to see me than me seeing you. Act now!

Or you could always talk via AIM. My screen name's the same as on OKC.