Guy1ncognit0
30 Mission Viejo, CA
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Guy1ncognit0
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My self-summary
This is how I feel about dating. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W9S5-EB8dR8

Either you can relate, or you read twilight and that offended you.

Writing a sincere biography about myself is a bit awkward, so I'll try and spare you the ocular displeasure of a long soliloquy.

I'm a highly motivated old soul who recently made a drastic career change. Said career is currently my main priority. I have an insatiable lust for automobiles. Less than two percent of the population shares my personality type. My sense of humor is very dark, morbid, offensive, politically incorrect and sarcastic.

I'm an avid reader who is constantly seeking to quench my intellectual thirst. If I'm in front of a television I'm watching either a movie, hockey game or formula 1 race. Vintage markets, swap meets, thrift stores, car shows, museums, working on cars, road trips, local breweries or exploring nature are some of my proclivities when I'm not at home introverting.

Currently seeking a partner in crime to share experiences with. No games. No bullshit. I'm completely independent and comfortable on my own and thus am not looking for someone to "complete me"; rather someone to share in an adventure. I refuse to settle and know exactly what I'm capable of, and, more importantly, deserve.

*Note: Although I am ultimately seeking a relationship, I am not entirely opposed to an ongoing casual sex or friends with benefits arrangement (we all have needs) as long as it's with the right gal.

That was still rather lengthy. Oh well.

If you "don't believe in evolution" or if you drive a prius, don't waste my time.
What I’m doing with my life
Recklessly driving environment altering automobiles. Eating undercooked red meat. Drinking bourbon neat. Penning subpar online dating profiles.
I’m really good at
Reading people. Making jokes at someone else's expense. Being politically incorrect. Quoting movies and/or television shows at the opportune moment. Baselessly judging people from afar.
The first things people usually notice about me
My acerbic wit and general misanthropy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies- Bond films, Star Wars trilogy, horror flicks, sci-fi, 80s and 90s action movies, anything with a decent car chase

Books- Masturbation for Dummies

Music- 50's and 60s. Punk, rockabilly, psychobilly, classical and 90s one hit wonders are always a great idea.

Shows- Married with children, The Simpsons, The Twilight Zone, original Star Trek, Seinfeld, Breaking bad, Nature and historical documentaries.

Food- Extremely adventurous when it comes to food and I prefer something that once had a pulse
The six things I could never do without
Beer
Gas guzzling muscle cars
Red meat
Music
Sunblock
Books
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How insanely awesome I am. The universe. The zombie apocalypse.
On a typical Friday night I am
Emulating Miss Havisham
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm the only guy I know that showers with his mom.
You should message me if
You think Sean Comnery is the best Bond. You can teach me something. Or, quite simply, you want to. Be forewarned, I was born fifty years too late and I'll most likely forget your birthday.
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