Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


30 Mission Viejo, CA Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18-40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 4:01am
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
5' 8" (1.73m)
Body Type
Dropped out of Space camp
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
Has cats
English (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Writing a sincere biography about myself is a bit awkward, so I'll try and spare you the ocular displeasure of a long soliloquy.

I'm a highly motivated old soul who recently made a drastic career change. Said career is currently my main priority. I have an insatiable lust for automobiles. Less than two percent of the population shares my personality type. My sense of humor is very dark, morbid, offensive, politically incorrect and sarcastic.

I'm an avid reader who is constantly seeking to quench my intellectual thirst. If I'm in front of a television I'm watching either a movie, hockey game or formula 1 race. Vintage markets, swap meets, thrift stores, car shows, museums, working on cars, road trips, local breweries or exploring nature are some of my proclivities when I'm not at home introverting.

Currently seeking a partner in crime to share experiences with. No games. No bullshit. I'm completely independent and comfortable on my own and thus am not looking for someone to complete me. Rather someone who motivates me to be a better person. I refuse to settle and know exactly what I'm capable of, and, more importantly, deserve.

*Note: Although I am ultimately seeking a relationship, I am not entirely opposed to an ongoing casual sex or friends with benefits arrangement (we all have needs) as long as it's with the right gal.

That was still rather lengthy. Oh well.

If you "don't believe in evolution" or if you drive a prius, don't waste my time.

Instagram: Guy1ncognito
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Recklessly driving environment altering automobiles. Eating undercooked red meat. Drinking bourbon neat. Penning subpar online dating profiles.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Reading people. Making jokes at someone else's expense. Being politically incorrect. Quoting movies and/or television shows at the opportune moment. Baselessly judging people from afar.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My acerbic wit and general misanthropy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Movies- Bond films, Star Wars trilogy, horror flicks, sci-fi, 80s and 90s action movies, anything with a decent car chase

Books- Masturbation for Dummies

Music- 50's and 60s. 90s one hit wonders are always a great idea.

Shows- Married with children, The Simpsons, The Twilight Zone, original Star Trek, Seinfeld, Breaking bad, Nature and historical documentaries.

Food- Extremely adventurous when it comes to food and preferable something that once had a pulse
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Gas guzzling muscle cars
Red meat
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How insanely awesome I am. The universe. The zombie apocalypse.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Emulating Miss Havisham
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm the only guy I know that showers with his mom.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Quite simply, you want to. Be forewarned, I was born fifty years too late and I'll most likely forget your birthday.