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Guy1ncognit0

28 M Los Angeles, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 9:11am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Used up
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra
Education
Dropped out of space camp
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Poorly), Latin

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My self-summary
ISTJ

My breath smells of magnesium. I'm scared of bells. My hubris is unparalleled. If I had been on any season of The Bachelor everyone would have been rendered pregnant; even the cameramen. I was the basis for John McClane in the Die Hard pentalogy. I wrote the original incarnation of the Gettysburg Address. I divided by zero once; the result was the Chicxulub crater. I enjoy consensual heterosexual sex in the missionary position. I'm here to disappoint you.

Instagram: Guy1ncognito
What I’m doing with my life
I am the owner and shower supervisor at an after school children's program called Sandusky's Daycare.
I’m really good at
Baselessly judging people and pointing out their shortcomings. Competetive drinking. Cold fusion. Talking about going to the gym.
The first things people usually notice about me
My acerbic wit and general misanthropy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies- Miami Connection, The Star Wars Holiday Special, Battlefield Earth, Ishtar, Ice Station Zebra, Spice World
Books- Masturbation for Dummies, Coloring books that prominently feature unicorns on the cover.
Music- Creed, Hanson, Jonas Brothers, Spin Doctors, Creed
Shows- Small Wonder, Blossom, The Mystery of Al Capone's Vault
Food- Anything that once had a pulse
The six things I could never do without
Beer
Whiskey
Red Meat
Gas guzzling muscle cars
Global warming
Death
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How insanely awesome I am. The universe. The zombie apocalypse.
On a typical Friday night I am
Emulating Miss Havisham
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm the only guy I know that showers with his mom.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You probably shouldn't. I was born forty years too late and I'll most likely forget your birthday