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GuyNotFlexing

32 M Brooklyn, NY

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Aug 9
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Used up
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Education
Dropped out of space camp
Job
Retired
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English, Spanish (Okay), Hebrew (Poorly), Swahili (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge.

I’m an asshole. I won’t open doors for you, in fact be careful as I will likely trip you as you go through the door for laughs and giggles. I expect you to cook for me and clean up my mess after I eat. And by the way, I’m a really messy eater. Food everywhere, on the floor, in my lap, but these are the least of your worries.

I leave my socks on the floor in the bedroom, and yes they stink. I will not do laundry, and insist that you do it. Not just insist, you must LOVE to do my laundry and look forward to it. Look forward to it like you look forward to water in the desert. Look forward to it like you look forward to seeing your family after years of separation. I think you get the picture.

Also I don’t do romance, I expect action on the first date, big time action, and I won’t sleep over (yes this will be at your place because I don’t want you to know where I live).

The dating site says that I should also talk about these four points so as I don’t waste my time and be successful here, so let me address each one:

1. Talk about your hobbies. – kicking puppies
2. Talk about your goals/aspirations – finding a rich woman to take care of me
3. Talk about yourself and what makes you unique – I’m not unique in the least bit
4. Your taste in music – my own drum

OK girls, waiting for your emails…go
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Watching sunsets and titties
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
incredibly ridiculous good looks
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Food: I love to eat it
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What if the hokey poke is what it’s all about?

Does fish vagina smell like humans?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I wear a special cologne. It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries…and it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
For all of the girls who send me messages like "Hey" or "What's up?", here is my automatic response letter:

Thanks for the ego boost, but your pathetic half attempt at capturing my attention has not even aroused the slightest bit of interest on my side. To make you feel better, I will tell you that I am only slightly less miserable, sitting here, by myself, waiting for 'hand lotion time again', drinking booze, since someone more pathetic than myself has bothered to write me. Thanks, I guess"