I gave blood today! And while this is something that I regularly do, and don't normally brag about, I felt it appropriate to blog about. My blood pressure was something like 120 over 80...my pulse was 76...my temp was 98.8, and my hemocrit (sp? all you med folks out there) was 40. Not bad overall! Oh, and my blood type... O+...just in case you were wondering. I'll be going back in March, let me know if you want to come! :D

Jenn

Okay, I know I may have mentioned this before here, but I'm done with the smoking thing. I'm going to leave my profile set to "trying to quit" until it's been a few months, but I DID set my goal for my 31st birthday, and I beat it by a couple of days! :D No smoking in 2009 for me! Keep me in your thoughts, I still might need the backup, it's not been difficult YET, but I imagine there might be times when I struggle still...don't we all?

Thanks for your well-wishes!

Jenn

I know many of you are thinking that I am a few days late for this, but I have been breathing for a little over 31 years as of today. I've been through some things recently that have colored my opinion of myself a little differently. Please don't be offended when I say this...maybe you've helped with this and don't know it...

I am a sexy, desirable, intelligent worth-while woman. I have plenty to offer some VERY lucky guy, and I am not worried about making a few friends along the way to find him. I have a good idea about what I want, and I know how to compromise (or not) certain qualities. It is still very important to me that there be physical chemistry between us. If there's no spark of desire, whatever will we do those chilly winter nights...(or warm summer days, rainy spring evenings, brisk fall mornings...) I am a very sexual person. I enjoy giving pleasure, and of COURSE I enjoy receiving pleasure. I process emotional things more quickly than most people can imagine. This doesn't mean that I suppress them and hide from what's really going on, it means that if I say I am ready for a relationship after knowing someone only a matter of minutes, that I am ready. Without a doubt. And if that relationship doesn't work out, it means that I will probably process that and move on to either "his/her loss, sorry that they couldn't deal with my honest desire to build something and remain friends through whatever" or "we're really great friends, and I can see that something more wouldn't have worked out well AT ALL". This also means that if my parakeet dies tomorrow, I'll probably have its cage cleared out waiting for the next one two hours later (or something very similar).

I am also very, very much in need of a great conversation. I don't mean ALWAYS, there will of course be some moments better left unspoken :) but there should be a great intellectual spark as well. We won't agree on everything (please I hope not, anyway!) but we should have enough in common to be able to share some things, and I WILL be open to things that you like that I may not be familiar with, as long as you're open to me still enjoying some things that you may never understand (New Kids on the Block, scrapbooking, having 28 different pairs of scissors). I need this conversation and intellectual spark almost as much as I need the physical chemistry. I know that is different for most women, they put the intellect first and hope the physical grows from that, but I am too much of an instant gratification kinda gal to ever let that be true... ;)

That said...thanks, Mom. I love you for what you've done for me on this day in the past, and who you are. Please never change, continue to be the wonderful person you are, and I will continue to strive to be as beautiful a person as you are, every day, without effort.

Oh - and Happy Birthday to me! :P

Apparently someone on OKC has a problem with my legs...the picture that I had posted (just in my pictures, not my main profile image) of my legs was flagged and deleted. Now, I'd understand if it was tasteless nudity. I'd even get it if I was trying to pass that off as my main image. It was neither. Aren't we all adults here? What is wrong with someone posting a picture (very tastefully done, mind you) of their LEGS? I don't have any idea who flagged the picture, so everyone gets to hear my rant. I'd like to hear some opinions on the matter. I've seen some questionable (a best) pictures on profiles that I've just let go. I'm a big believer in freedom of expression, so I guess that's my fault. WARNING to everyone out there with a picture that doesn't contain your FACE...even if it's of you and not your main profile image: there are picture nazis out there who will have the pic flagged and deleted.

*Deep breath* The above rant is probably mostly to do with the whole quitting smoking thing. I apologize, but it really does kinda tick me off...well, enough for now, it's off to work I go for the last day this week. Enjoy your holiday everyone!

To the Picture Nazi - if you're reading this *raspberries* (that's the response you deserve since I feel the flag was childish and immature, it was my LEGS, for goodness sake!)

Okay, so many of you may have read the journal post from yesterday. Still no cigarettes, btw (YAY). I have decided that everytime I want to smoke, I'll either do thirty crunches, or one of these OKC tests. :) I did two this morning... :P Anyway, keep me in mind if you light up, and also if you don't (especially if you don't, I need that kinda back-up)! Have a great Thanksgiving Week, I'm sure we'll chat soon! :)

I quit smoking today. I know that sounds a bit premature to say that I've quit when it's only been one day, but I am determined to make this work. If I can't control the other things going on in my life right now, at least I can control my addictions! :) Plus, I'll be able to breathe a heck of a lot better in a few weeks...

Wish me Luck! ;)

I haven’t had much news to talk about lately. Anything and everything I might have to say seems somewhat overshadowed by what’s going on around me. America has elected her first President of Color. The economy is pretty much in the toilet. There are wars and destruction on nearly every continent involving a great number of the people on our planet. Yet here I sit, worried about my next social excursion or how my hair will look tomorrow. Are we all so desensitized by the sheer volume of news available that we begin to overlook what’s going on around us? There’s almost no escape from the daily bombardment of this new story or that, yet it’s almost like elevator music to me. I know it’s on in the background, but I don’t pay attention to it really. I might even be familiar with the song, but the version is so strange it’s alien to me. We become so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget that a great many of our sisters and brothers here on earth have much graver concerns than the price of gasoline or how much their stock has plummeted. I’m not really sure what the origin of these severe thoughts is, and I do apologize for not having more cheery news to share. You take the good with the bad, I suppose. I would guess that includes the severe with the whimsical.

What do you do when you realize what you thought you wanted wasn’t really what you wanted after all, and what you now want may be something that isn’t attainable? Do you continue to want what you know is unattainable, and lock the rest of yourself inside hoping that one day the unattainable will become available to you? Do you sit idly by, watching and learning, and waiting for an opportunity to present itself that makes the unattainable something you can reach? Do you shut that part of you off that wants what you can’t have, and simply enjoy having what you can? I know there are no hard and fast answers to these questions, but they are ones that I have to ask myself. I was really sure that I knew exactly where my life was going and what I wanted for myself, but I have found that I wasn’t as honest with myself as I should have been. No. I was honest with what I wanted, and I now have been shown that I can have so much more, so I find myself yearning for the more. Aren’t we all destined to grasp at things out of our reach? Isn’t that what makes us strive to be better, stronger, smarter, MORE? If we were programmed in life to simply accept what was given us and not question or look for more, wouldn’t that mean also that we didn’t dream? I believe that dreams are one of the most important parts of who we are. I guess that also means that I would never allow myself to simply enjoy having what I can have without striving to achieve more. If the things I’ve learned in the past are true lessons, they’ve taught me well. Things like never regret what you’ve done, it makes you the person you are in the now, and there’s nothing you can do to change what has already happened. Things like not taking for granted anyone who touches your life, as we can learn valuable lessons from all we contact. Things like accepting the moment for the moment’s sake, not looking ahead for the next best thing; our lives are made up of those small, tender moments, and we should appreciate them for their own worth. Things like not dissecting every little event in your life to the point of madness, some of the enjoyment of the moment may wane if you analyze the happiness overmuch. I guess what I’m really asking myself is do I allow my senses to override my emotions, or do I allow my emotions to gently (and not so gently) lead me down the path that is where my heart really and truly fits? When do I accept that part of me that is so much wiser than the rest and allow it to lead me where it will? I think we all struggle with these questions at one point or another, in some form or another. I don’t know if anyone has answers to them, or if those answers would work for me anyway. I guess I just wanted to share my struggles as they arise with the world, so to speak. Isn’t that, after all, why we’re here? To share ourselves and hopefully find lasting relationships along the way, even if they don’t turn out how we’d planned.

So my friends have decided that in this crazy dating game if I make certain decisions that I am going to eventually end up in the bottom of a pit somewhere putting on Jergen's lotion and screaming "Here puppy...here puppy...here puppy" until my voice is gone. I've made the joke that I will text someone from the pit to have them come rescue me...and that I won't be using any lotion if it's not AT LEAST Jergen's. I've recently needed to be rescued. Not because I ended up in the pit, because I missed my train. How completely embarassing is that? Well, I am completely thankful that I have friends that are willing to come rescue me in the middle of the night in a pseudo-crisis. As for the reason I needed rescuing? Well...let's just say I had a lovely time. Really.

Okay, okay...I know that there probably aren't many of you who are interested in hearing my tales of New Kids on the Block concert mania...but, this IS, after all, my blog. :) I arrived in Milwaukee a little later than anticipated, but still early. We found our Hotel, and then drove to downtown to meet up with some of the local girls before the show. We sat in a great bar (I don't remember which one, but it was one of the Three Irish Pubs on Juneau) and met a couple of really nice girls. We sat there waiting for the rest of the girls to arrive, and ended up leaving just in time to get back to the hotel for me to change. That done, I arrived at the Bradley Center with no time to spare, parked in the garage, and got into the building around 4:50pm. I picked up my 5* package, had to check my phone (no pictures) and went in to have a drink and maybe a lil snack. I had one glass of wine, but no food...didn't want to chance making a mess of myself before the meet...I met a couple more really nice girls...and then the big moment...I walk in, and it was fantastic. Granted, I wasn't able to get autographs, wasn't able to get individual pictures with any of them, but I WAS able to maintain my composure and chat a bit with a couple of the guys. I got hugs from three of them, and left the room on cloud nine. The show was great, two hours of screaming and now I can't talk (my voice sounds like I am trying not to cry or I'm going through puberty...maybe both) I would do it all over again 100 times just like that if I could. So much for being worried about the reality not meeting the expectations. No, I didn't get to throw myself at anyone, but I am so much happier that I maintained my composure and acted like a lady should. I think that was the better route, anyway. Hope they like the presents I gave them! :)